The Past Ain't Through With You

Gerard blinked in surprise then looked down at his shirt. “Well, shit.”

“Ohm.” Molly automatically said. Across the room another little voice echoed the same sentiment.

“Sorry, bad word, I know.” Gerard muttered.

Holly was still staring at him. “What is that?”

“Spaghetti sauce.” Gerard smiled. “I had it turned too high on the stove and it was bubbling over. Didn’t realize I’d gotten some on me.”

“Oh.” Holly laughed. “Gotta say you really had me worried.”

Gerard regained his composure. “Well, come in.” He stepped back, “Welcome to my home.”

They walked inside and Gerard closed the door behind them.

“Sorry we’re late.” Holly started to explain.

“We went to visit Hal.” Molly said casually as she slipped off her jacket.

Holly saw the shocked look on Gerard’s face. “We got lost” She started to explain but again Molly spoke up.

“His final resting place is very pretty. We left flowers.”

“Final resting place.” Gerard repeated shocked at Molly’s words.

Molly nodded, “Yes, I was sad at first but mommy explained that Hal is happy now. He’s with his wife and daughter.”

“I’m sure he is.” Gerard answered as she moved to help Holly out of her lightweight jacket.

“Thanks.” She smiled. Her attention was suddenly on the large open room. “This is beautiful.”

Gerard set her coat down on the chair where Molly had placed hers. “Thanks.” He was about to offer a tour when he felt small arms around his leg. Bandit was peering at their guests from behind the safety of her father. “Uh, B say hello.”

Bandit remained silent.

Holly smiled “Hi Bandit.”

Still no sound from the little girl.

Gerard gently reached for her hand and moved her to his side. He smiled, “Uh Molly you remember Bandit, right?”

Molly nodded. “Hi, Baby B.”

Immediately Bandit’s face clouded. “Not a baby.”

Gerard was afraid Molly’s feelings would be hurt. “Uh, I know we used to call her that but Bandit doesn’t want anyone to think she’s a baby.”

Molly nodded, “Oh.” She took a step towards Bandit. “Sorry. Hello B.”

“Hi.” Bandit said slowly. “M”

“Yep, that’s right. You are B and I’m M.” Molly giggled. “Oh and he’s G” She pointed at Gerard.

“Daddy.” Bandit clarified.

Holly saw the hurt look on Gerard’s face and it wasn’t hard for her to understand why. She tried to lighten the mood. “It’s good to see you B. You’ve grown up a lot.”

This pleased Bandit. “Yep, big girl now.” She looked back at Molly. “Wanna color?”

“Sure.” Molly nodded.

The adults watched as the girls ran through the room towards the open dining area. There on the large table was coloring books, paper and crayons.

“Bandit’s been coloring while I was making dinner.” Gerard said softly.

Holly nodded, “Really sorry about being late. I thought we had time to go by the cemetery and still make it here on time for dinner.”

Gerard lowered his voice. “Man when Molly said ‘final resting place’…”

Holly smiled, “Word of warning about Molly. She likes very much to sound grown up and anything she hears she stores away to use in conversation.”

“She’s so damn smart.” Gerard said his eyes on the girls. He turned back to look at Holly, “But yeah, thanks for the warning. I’ll watch what I say.”

Holly laughed then whispered, “When you said shit…that was funny. Bandit and Molly both caught you.”

“Yeah, reprimanded in stereo.” Gerard laughed. “So give me a minute to pop the garlic bread in the oven and I’ll show you the house if you’d like.”

“I’d love a tour.” Holly nodded. “And wow do I love those windows. I get what Molly said now.”

“She remembered the house?”

Holly nodded. “Especially the windows and I can see why. What a view.”

They both made their way towards where the girls sat coloring. Holly stopped at the table to see what the girls were working on while Gerard continued on into the kitchen.

“Aren’t the windows pretty?” Molly asked looking at her mother.

Holly looked out at the view. “Very pretty. I like how you can see the tree tops.” She glanced into the kitchen. “Gee, how much property is yours?”

“I’ve got about six acres.” He answered as he placed the cooking sheet covered with garlic bread in the oven.

“Scary woods.” Bandit said not looking up from her coloring.

Gerard joined them at the table. “The woods make B a little nervous.”

Molly glanced out then at Bandit. “Wood monsters?”

Holly frowned, “Molly, don’t scare her.”

Bandit nodded to Molly. “Yeah, da out dare.”

Feeling protective Molly smiled at her. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let any monsters get you.”

Gerard was touched by Molly’s words. He glanced over at Holly with a huge smile on his face however Holly still seemed to be frowning. He decided to change the subject. “Girls I’m gonna show Holly the house. You guys keep coloring, okay?”

Both little girls nodded. He motioned for Holly to follow him but had to keep from laughing as he heard the conversation between the girls as they moved away. Molly was explaining to Bandit that the crayon she’d chosen wasn’t green it was avocado.

“Uh, is she actually reading the colors?” he whispered to Holly.

Holly shrugged, “She does read a bit. I’m not sure if she’s reading the word or just knows that color is avocado.”

Gerard smiled then stopped, “Well you’ve seen the living room.”

Holly took the chance to look around again. “I love this open space and the bookshelves are wonderful.” She crossed the room. “And I love the fireplace.”

“Me too.” He grinned, “I’ve been using it for a few weeks now. It actually gets pretty chilly here at night.” He followed her gaze. “Molly actually did the design for me when she helped me move in. She placed the books and photos.” He saw that she was looking at the photo of Lindsey and Bandit. “Linds wanted me to thank you for the wind chime. She thinks it’s beautiful.”

Holly smiled, “Glad she likes it.”

“I’ll show you my office now.” He said moving towards the hallway. Behind him Holly followed but as she did she looked up.

“Oh I love the beams.”

“Yeah, pretty cool, aren’t they?” Gerard opened a door then stood back. “My office.”

“Wow.” Holly said brushing past him. “This is nice. More bookshelves.”

“You can never have too many bookshelves.” Gerard nodded. They left the study and moved back down the hall stopping briefly to check on the girls. Then they started down the other hallway. “Okay.” Gerard opened the door. “First bedroom.”

Holly walked in. “Bandit’s room.” She said softly. “I love the mural.” She said walking closer to see the huge, colorful painting depicting a sunshine filled meadow full of hidden animals. “Lindsey?”

He nodded, “Yeah, Linds painted it. She wanted to make sure Bandit loved her bedroom here as much as the one at her house.”

“That was thoughtful of her.” Holly said still looking at the mural. “She’s a very good artist.”

“Yeah, she is.” Gerard said proudly. When he saw Holly glance at the twin beds it was hard for him not to say why he’d kept them in the room. He didn’t want to press Holly but once more he was feeling hope that both his daughters would get to share this room.

“Ready?” He asked wanting to continue the tour.

Holly nodded.

He opened the bathroom door then stood back so she could poke her had in.

“Not big but functional.”

“And full of rubber ducks.” Holly laughed seeing them lined up on the rim of the tub.

“Bandit likes her ducks.” Gerard grinned. “Sometimes when she takes a bath I have trouble finding her amongst the sea of yellow.”

They moved further down the hallway. “And this is my bedroom.” Gerard said opening the door. Holly immediately saw that his room had a small deck. “Oh, nice.” She said as she crossed the room.

Gerard moved quickly. “Hold on.” He reached up and unlocked the child proof lock. “I have to keep this locked when Bandit’s here. I don’t want her going out by herself.”

When he slid the door open Holly stepped out. Looking over the railing she said, “Yeah, I can see why, that’s quite a drop. But wow, I love the view.”

“Most mornings I sit out here with my first cup of coffee. It clears my mind and helps me focus on the day.”

Holly looked over at him. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thanks.” He smiled, “I love it. When I first saw this place it was so weird but I just felt like I’d found my home.” He forced himself to glance away. “And you haven’t even seen all of it yet. There is a whole lower floor.”

“The funky one?” Holly laughed.

“Who told you?” Gerard asked.

“Molly mentioned it a few times.” Holly admitted. “By what she described I was guessing funky would be a good word.”

“Oh hell, yeah.” Gerard smiled feeling more relaxed than he had since they’d arrived. “Come on I’ll show you.”

Holly walked back into the bedroom and waited as Gerard re-latched the lock. Suddenly her gaze stopped on two photos on the top of his dresser.

Gerard turned and froze.

Unable to stop herself Holly walked closer for a better look. One photo was of Bandit obviously taken soon after her birth in the hospital. The other photo she’d not seen for years. “Where did you get this?” She whispered.

Gerard was watching her face closely. “Uh, when I was repacking your personal stuff to store I spotted it. It’s actually a copy of the original.”

Slowly Holly lifted the frame. “This was taken in the hospital. I couldn’t afford to buy more than one at the time.”

“I hope you don’t mind.” Gerard said softly. “But I really wanted a picture of Molly as a baby.”

Holly took a deep breath. “Of course I don’t mind. It’s just sorta shocking to see this picture.”

Gerard was about to say something when they both were startled by the sound of the oven timer.

“Garlic breads ready.” Gerard said as he watched Holly return the photo to its spot. “Uh, guess the rest of the tour should wait until after dinner.”

Holly turned and smiled. “Sure. I’ll help the girls get the table cleaned off.” With that she turned and fled the room.

Gerard quickly stripped off his stained shirt, threw on another then followed her. By the time he arrived back in the main living area Holly had the girls picking up their artwork. He rushed past them into the kitchen.

“Well, shi…” He snapped his mouth shut as he used a hot pad to remove the burnt garlic bread from the oven.

Holly tried not to giggle at his almost bad word slip. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Stupid oven, the garlic bread is burnt.”

Walking into the kitchen Holly glanced at it. “Not bad. It’s fixable. Now, where are the plates?”

Gerard frowned, “Fixable?”

“Yep, I’ll fix it in a minute. Plates?” She asked again.

“That cabinet.” Gerard pointed. He watched as Holly removed four plates then glanced around. “Silverware?”

He simply pointed to the correct drawer.

Holly took out the needed silverware then took it and the plates back into the dining area. “Girls can you set the table?”

Gerard was about to say that Bandit had no idea how to set a table when Molly spoke.

“Sure, mommy.” She proceeded to explain to Bandit how they were going to place the plates and silverware.

“Wow.” Gerard said softly as Holly returned to the kitchen.

Holly smiled, “Molly likes to set the table.”

“Excuse me.” Molly said walking into the kitchen. “Gee, where are the napkins?”

“Uh, over there.” He said pointing to a spot on the cabinet. He watched Molly count out the correct number then paused.

“I’ll take some extra.” She said thinking out loud to herself. “Spaghetti is kinda messy.” She walked back out to where Bandit was waiting having placed the plates around the table.

Gerard knew he should be getting the rest of the dinner ready but he couldn’t help but stand in the doorway watching.

“Okay B.” Molly said sounding like a small teacher. “The napkin folds like this.” She showed Bandit who was watching closely. “Then we place it here on the side of the plate.

Holly had walked up behind him. “If you had linen napkins she’d be doing the Bird of Paradise. That’s one of her favorite napkin folds.”

Gerard turned to Holly, “She does napkin folds?”

Holly laughed, “Oh yes. Some she does better than I can.”

“Wow.” Gerard said softly turning to watch as Molly was now explaining to Bandit where to place each piece of silverware. When he heard a scraping sound he turned to see Holly standing at the sink.

“What are you doing?” He asked walking towards her.

“Fixing the garlic bread.” She answered holding up the slice in her hand. “The top just got a little too dark but it’s not burnt.”

“But you’re scrapping off all the good stuff.” He frowned.

Holly rolled her eyes. “It will be fine. Do you have any shredded mozzarella cheese?”

“I think so.” He returned a moment later with a bag.

“Perfect.” Holly said. She quickly finished scrapping the rest of the pieces then as Gerard stood watching she topped each piece with some cheese. “Now we just pop this into the oven for a few minutes and it will be yummy.”

“Better watch it close.” Gerard muttered as she placed the sheet into the still hot stove.

Holly nodded, “This stove is old. It just needs to have the temp calibrated.”

While he wasn’t sure what she meant he didn’t want to appear ignorant. “Uh yeah I’ll do that.”

Holly kept an eye on the stove while Gerard placed the spaghetti in a huge bowl. Next he poured the sauce into another bowl. She couldn’t help but notice he seemed nervous. “Gee, this looks wonderful.”

“Well I wanted dinner to be perfect.” He sighed “But I messed up the bread.”

Holly smiled, “I already told you the garlic bread will be yummy. Now stop stressing.”

He turned to look at her. “I’m not stressing.”

Her eye brow rose but she remained silent.

“Okay maybe a little.” He admitted.

Holly smiled, “Yeah, a little. Now out of my way. Time for the bread to come out of the oven.”

“But you just put it in.”

She shooed him away from the oven door. As she pulled out the sheet he could see the cheese had melted nicely. “See, the oven is way hotter than it reads.”

As he carried the bowls to the table Holly placed the bread in a bowl covering it with a cloth.

“Yum.” Molly giggled happily. “It smells delicious.”

“Yeah, dewishous.” Bandit repeated.

“Okay B.” Gerard said standing back from the table. “Lets get your booster seat.”

Bandit looked over at Molly who didn’t require one. “No.”

“B you’re not tall enough to reach the table.” Gerard tried to reason with her.

“No don’t wants it.” Bandit said. “Dat’s for babies.”

Holly understood what was going on. “You know when I was little I had trouble reaching the table too.” She said looking at Bandit. “But I was lucky because I had big old phone books to sit on.”

Gerard frowned, “Don’t have any of those.”

Holly sighed, “Yeah, well most people don’t anymore. But maybe something else?”

Bandit seemed to think that anything would be better than her booster seat. “Yeah, someben else.”

Gerard searched his brain, “Hey I’ve got a huge old dictionary. I bought it because I thought it was a cool antique.”

Holly rolled her eyes, “How sad is it that a dictionary is now viewed as an antique.”

“Well not much need for one anymore with the Internet.” Gerard reasoned.

Bandit was staring at him, waiting.

“I’ll get it.” In a few minutes he’d returned with the book. “This thing is heavy. Must have every word in the English language.” He placed it on Bandit’s seat then lifted her up. “There.” He said standing back. “How’s that?”

Bandit smiled, “Yep, likes it.”

Everyone else sat down. However as soon as Gerard started to lift Bandit’s plate for the spaghetti Molly stopped him.

“Gee, we have to pray first.”

Holly spoke up quickly. “Molly not everyone prays before they eat.”

“But we do.”

“Once we moved into Bob’s we sorta got into the habit of praying before dinner.” Holly explained to Gerard who had set Bandit’s plate back down.

“Bryar prays before he eats?” It was obvious Gerard was surprised by the news.

“He thought it was a nice tradition for Molly.”

“Oh, yeah.” Gerard nodded.

Molly spoke up. “Uncle Bob made a nice sit down dinner every night for us.”

Gerard tried not to let his personal feelings show however the fact that Bob had been playing such an important role in her daughter’s life bothered him. “That’s nice.” He said softly.

“We just bow our heads and say a quick grace.” Holly said seeing Gerard looked upset. She glanced over at Molly, “Go ahead.”

Molly nodded then bowed her head. Bandit watching closely followed suit.

“Thank you for this lovely dinner and good friends.” Molly said. “Amen.”

Gerard who had just bowed his head was surprised it was already done.

“Amen.” Bandit echoed happily. “Now food.”

***********************************************************

After dinner Gerard insisted that once the table was cleared Holly sat down with the girls while he cleaned up the kitchen. So once again the table was covered with paper and crayons. Bandit who was happy with her new dictionary seat was using it instead of kneeling on the chair as she’d done earlier.

“Look mommy.” Molly said holding up her picture for Holly to see. “What do you think?”

“That’s beautiful.” Holly smiled.

Bandit held up her picture too.

“Why Bandit that’s a lovely tree.” Holly smiled relieved by the fact that the child had obviously drawn a tree this time. Some of her other art works hadn’t been recognizable.

Bandit smiled. “For Olly.”

Holly was surprised. “You drew that for me?”

Bandit nodded.

“Well thank you.” She said taking the paper from Bandit’s hand. “I will treasure this.”

At the sink Gerard smiled to himself listening to their exchange. He was proud at how thoughtful Bandit was towards Holly. So far tonight was going better than he’d hoped but he knew soon he and Holly would need to speak alone. He wiped his hands then joined the others.

Bandit looked up at her father. “Swings now?”

“Oh,” Gerard said giving her request some thought. “Uh, Molly would you like to go out to the swing set?”

“Sure.” Molly answered happily.

Holly glanced out at the setting sun.

“They should be able to swing for about thirty minutes before dark.” Gerard said following her gaze.

“Molly grab you jacket.” Holly instructed standing up from the table.

Bandit ran to get her light coat.

“This works out great.” Gerard said “You’ll get to see the lower floor cause that’s the way out to the yard.”

Both girls ran to the stairs. “Hold on to the banister.” Gerard yelled over their excited giggles.

Holly smiled because she was about to say the same thing but Gerard beat her to it.

The girls hit the lower floor then ran to the sliding doors. Gerard rushed over and unlatched it for them. They swept past him and as he watched they ran towards the swing set.

“Oh my.”

Gerard turned to see Holly gazing around the room.

“Funky, right?”

Holly laughed, ‘Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” She took it all it. “I love this. How retro.”

He was pleased she thought so. “Yeah, retro. The realtor didn’t believe me at first when I told her I wasn’t gonna change a thing.”

“I’m so glad the previous owners didn’t change it.” Holly said. “Think originally the upper floor had the same look?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I think so. But obviously they remodeled thinking it would sell better. What happened was they had to sell it quickly so they didn’t have time to remodel down here.”

“This is like stepping back into another era.” Holly grinned. “Very cool.”

“Uh, if you want we can sit outside on the patio and watch the girls.” He offered seeing Holly glance outside.

“I might need to grab my coat.”

He shook his head, “No need. I’ll just fire up the chimenea.”

“Okay.” Holly nodded as she followed him out the sliding doors.

“Sit here.” He said pointing to the patio chair nearest the out door heater. “You’ll be warm in no time.”

Holly took a seat then glanced across the yard at the girls. “Looks like they are having fun.” She said with a smile. Both girls were pumping their legs seeing who could get their swing highest.

Gerard looked up from the fire he was building in the terra cotta chimenea. “Yeah, that swing set was one of the first things I bought for the house. Bandit loves it.” He added some pinonwood to the paper he’d already loaded then lit a match.

“I like the smell of that wood.” Holly said as the gentle aroma wafted out from the fire.

“Yeah, me too. It’s also a great bug repellent.” He stepped back. “There, you’ll be warm in no time.” He took a seat near Holly.

“This really is a beautiful place.” Holly said softly looking around the yard.

“Owning this place has given me an inner feeling of peace.” He admitted. “I couldn’t wait to get back from the last tour.”

“How was the tour?” Holly asked realizing that while he knew what had been happening in her life these past nine months she knew little of what had happened in his life.

Gerard leaned back then took out his pack of cigarettes. “Touring has been good. I know the band was worried but I focused, did my job.”

She heard what she believed was hurt in his tone. “Gee, if they were worried it was because they care about you. Everyone knew the divorce would be difficult.”

“Wasn’t just the divorce.” He said softly looking across the yard at his daughters.

Holly sighed, “I’m sorry you found out about Molly the way you did.”

He took out a cigarette and lit it before asking a question that had been on his mind for a long time. “Would you have told me if..”

When his voice trailed off Holly finished the sentence. “If I hadn’t believed I was dying?” She looked across the yard at the girls. “I’m really not sure.” She admitted. “The way things were…probably not.”

“Even though you knew my marriage was over?”

Holly forced herself to be honest. “The morning of my attack I met with Lindsey.” She was surprised when he nodded.

“Yeah, she told me.”

“Oh. Well until that day I had hoped you two could work out your problems.”

“Linds said that even after she told you she was gonna divorce me you tried to talk her into marriage counseling for us.”

Holly nodded. “I had hoped you two could repair your marriage.”

“I wanted that too.” Gerard admitted wistfully. “But the fact was that me and Linds weren’t in love with each other anymore. Not the way you need to be in love to make a marriage work. But I’m very lucky that she and I have remained close. Hell, we get along a lot better now then we did the last year of our marriage.”

“That’s great.” Holly said. “For all of you.”

Gerard nodded then looked out across the yard at the girls.

Holly took a deep breath. “Gee, I need to explain something to you. It was more than just believing the truth could damage your marriage.”

Gerard turned to look at her.

This was difficult for Holly but she wanted to be honest. “I’m not sure what Lindsey told you about that morning but she insinuated that once you were no longer married to her that you would turn to me.”

“Yeah, I know she told me.” He admitted. “And she felt bad about saying it. At the time she had no idea we’d once been together.”

Holly sighed, “I understand that. But the fact that she said it scared me. Please don’t take this wrong but I was afraid of the same thing.”

“That I would turn to you?”

Holly nodded slowly, “Yeah, exactly. You were hurting.”

“And I’d done the same thing before, right? I’d turned to you after all the shit went down with Eliza.” There was hurt in his voice.

For a moment Holly closed her eyes trying to put into words what she needed to say. “Gee, I didn’t want you to need me. Just thinking you might scared me. I’d planned on leaving town.”

“To get away from me?” He whispered.

Holly sighed, “Yes, because….” Her voice trailed off. “Shit.” She muttered. “I’m making a mess of this. I want you to understand.”

He reached across the table to touch her arm. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about this.”

“No.” Holly said with determination. “We need to talk about this. But I think for you to really understand I need to tell you something. See the woman you met in Jersey had a lot more emotional baggage than you thought.” She tried to smile, “And yeah, I’m sure you think I had a lot.”

Instead of answering he simply gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

“Anyway.” Holly forced herself to continue. “I realize now that I’ve spent most of my life blaming myself for things I couldn’t change. Thinking somehow if I tried hard enough I could change things.” She glanced away from Gerard and into the fire. “My parents broke up when I was eleven.”

“You blamed yourself?” Gerard asked softly.

“In a way. You see my father was a wonderful man, very loving.” Her voice trembled “Until he drank. Then he became someone else.”

Sadly Gerard was beginning to understand. “He was an alcoholic.”

Holly nodded still gazing at the flames. “Yes, and my mother couldn’t take it anymore. She was hurt he chose drink over his family. Dad moved out and I only saw him occasionally.” She sighed, “But I didn’t really understand. I blamed my mother. What I didn’t understand is that she had sheltered me from seeing him drunk most of the time. I never saw his violent outbursts.” Tears appeared in her eyes. “About six months after daddy moved out he came to take me for the day. We went to the park and had lunch…” A tear rolled down her cheek, “It was a wonderful day.” Another tear leaked from her eye. “He said he loved me.”

Gerard braced himself for what he feared he was about to hear.

“That night after daddy took me home he went back to his apartment. He put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.”

“Of fuck.” Gerard whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Holly wiped her eyes. “I stopped blaming my mother and started blaming myself for his death. I believed that if I’d been a better daughter, if he’d loved me more he wouldn’t have ended his life.”

“That’s not how alcoholism works.” Gerard said shaking his head. “It’s a disease.”

Holly looked directly into his eyes. “Yes, I know that. It was a disease that he couldn’t control. There was noting I could have done to make him not drink, that had to be his decision.”

The truth came crashing down on Gerard. “You were going to leave because you knew you couldn’t make me stop drinking and you didn’t ever want Molly to go through the same thing you did.”

“I realized that no matter how badly I wanted to help you there was nothing I could do. You had to decide to stop. That was on you. But I wanted to protect Molly.” Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, “That night she saw you…”

Gerard looked down filled with shame. “Yeah, that was fucked up.”

For several minutes they sat in silence.

Finally Gerard spoke. “Thank you for telling me.” He said softly. “But I do want you to believe I’ve changed. I’ve not taken a drink since the day you were attacked.”

“Why?” Holly had to know.

“Because I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be there for you and both of my daughters. I don’t know something in my brain just clicked that day. I saw how precious life is and how quickly it can be lost.”

Holly smiled, “I’m very happy to hear that.”

“Now my life isn’t about me, it’s about those I love. But I understand if you don’t want Molly to know I’m her father. I understand if you’re still afraid I might hurt her.”

“Gee, the truth is out there. Too many people know. I think it would be best if she heard the truth from us.”

He glanced our towards the swing set. “How do you think she’ll take it?”

Holly exhaled loudly. “I’m honestly not sure. I know she adores you. Not sure if you realized it or not but when she was sick and you cared for her…well a bond was formed.”

“But what do we say when she wants to know why we haven’t told her before now?”

“Gee, I will take responsibility for that.” Holly answered sadly.

“No, that’s not right.” Gerard said shaking his head. “Look, I understand she’s pretty damn smart but she’s not old enough to understand why you didn’t tell me. It’s not fair for you to take that blame. I think we should just tell her that I’m her dad and that not telling her until now was a decision we both made.”

Holly smiled, “Gee, that’s sweet of you..”

He held up his hand to silence her. “When she’s older it will make more sense to her. Besides she might not ask.”

“Oh Lord.” Holly sighed, “You really have no idea who inquisitive your daughter can be. She’ll ask.”

He shrugged. “Hey, we’ll handle this together.” He saw that Molly was now pushing Bandit’s swing. “So when do we tell her?”

“Do you want to tell her in front of Bandit?”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, I think it’s important that B knows.”

Holly took a deep breath, “I’m tried of secrets, Gee. Let’s tell her now.”