Avenue Rage

“Hey, are you okay?” Billie made a weird face and put a hand on my shoulder. “You were zoning out for a good minute...”

“Oh, uh, yeah... I’m fine.” I made a fake smile. “I was just thinking about something.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He smirked and sat on the counter across from me.

“I’m just thinking about what happened ten years ago.” A small smile rose from the side of my mouth. “The night where everything happened and when I decided to leave.”

Billie stood there giving me an innocent look with his mouth askew.

“What?” I gave him a confused look.

“Is it cool if we spend the day together?” He cleared his throat. “I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Of course. I’ll go take a shower.”

“Do you mind if I take one?”

I gave him an odd look.

“In the guest bathroom?” He cleared with a smirk on his face.

“Go ahead.” I smiled and walked to my bedroom.

I began running the water, so it’d be hot by the time I got into the shower. My fingers tangled with the strings of my pajamas before I wiggled my hips and let them drop to the floor. Afterwards, I eased my shirt over my head and then tossed it on the floor next to my pajamas. My hands went to the back of my bra to undo the clasps, but then I jolted when I looked up.

“I’m so sorry!” Billie covered his eyes with both of his hands. “I just came to ask for shampoo!”

“No, it’s fine, Billie,” I scoffed and walked to the bathroom to get shampoo. “It’d just be nice if you maybe knocked next time.”

“I didn’t expect to stumble upon the lead singer of Avenue Rage in all of her lingerie glory.” He laughed from behind his hands.

“Keep lying to yourself,” I encouraged as I walked back into the bedroom and handed him the shampoo.

He kept his left hand over his left eye as he grabbed the shampoo bottle. He let out a small grin at me before he turned around and walked away. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him. I had no idea what I was going to do with him. I removed my undergarments and stepped into the shower. My hand darted to the knob to turn down the scolding heat. I let out a content sigh and leaned my head against the rough tile wall. I slowly allowed myself to wash and rinse my hair along with my body. The water began to run a little cold a minute before I turned if off. I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out of the shower. As I looked for clothes to wear, I began thinking about Billie. I don’t want to think about him in any different way, but I can’t help being curious. Even after I told him that nothing can amount between us, he’s still trying his luck.

“Lyn-z?” I heard Alan’s voice come from behind my bedroom door. “Can you tell me why Billie Joe was wearing my boxers?”

“No, I can’t actually,” I smirked. “Sorry, Alan.”

“Well, now he’s walking around naked with a towel around his waist... Make him leave.”

“Don’t worry about it, Alan,” I laughed. “We’re going to spend the day together.”

He slowly began to creak open the door and peeked his head in. When he saw me wrapped up in a towel, he made his entrance and sat down on the bed.

“Spending the day together?” He raised his eyebrows. “I wonder what Mason would think...”

“First of all, stop being an ass.” I pointed a finger at him. “Secondly, Mason couldn’t care less if Billie and I hung out together. He knows that Billie and I are practically best friends.”

“Okay, Linz.” He shined his devilish grin. “Just a brother looking out for you.”

“Thanks, Alan, but I’m fine.”

I got up and began ushering him out of my room. He made his best effort to make it as difficult as possible for me to get him out of my room. I finally shoved him out the door and locked it shut. I let out an exaggerated sigh as I tossed my towel into the hamper and grabbed the dress sitting on my bed. I quickly eased it over my body and threw on a pair of socks. I sprinted to the bathroom and put on a light amount of makeup. My hands ran down my body to smooth out my dress before I left my room. Alan zoomed past me with a hamper full of dirty clothes.

“Why in hell would a grown man wear another man’s underwear?” He hissed to himself.

I held in my laugh and walked to the living room. I saw Macy sitting on the couch with Joan watching TV and Billie Joe was making his way around the living room, looking at all of the pictures and posters on the walls. I cleared my throat which made him whirl around quickly and meet eyes with me. I saw that he was wearing the same jeans, shoes, and jacket as yesterday, but now he was wearing my old Turnedown shirt. I wasn’t too sure if he remembered the band or not.

“So, are you ready to go?” He raised his eyebrows and put his hands in his pockets.

Macy turned her whole body around and met my eyes. I gave her a blank expression as I remembered that I haven’t told her yet.

“Oh, and is it cool if you and Alan watch Joan?” I let out a small laugh.

She slowly turned around and continued watching TV with Joan.

“Not funny, Lyn-z...” She said an octave higher, which made Joan laugh.

“You guys are great!” I smiled exaggeratedly at Macy and then ran over to the couch. “Mommy loves you, Joan!”

“Love you too, Mommy...” She blushed as I kissed both of her cheeks.

Out of nowhere, Billie showed up and grabbed the sides of Joan’s head. He copied my motions and kissed both of her cheeks affectionately.

“I love you, Joan.” He smiled, thoughtfully.

“Love you too, Billie Joe.”

He let out a small giggle. He always thought it was funny how she put more emphasis on “Joe”. I quickly pulled on my boots and left the house with Billie. I was planning on taking my own car, but the van was already in the driveway and I’m much too lazy to move it out of the way. I tossed the keys to Billie and we both climbed into the van. I connected my iPod to the speakers and began playing the Descendents.

“So, where to?” Billie said, as we focused on backing out of the driveway.

“It was your idea to go out. You decide.” I smirked.

“Fine. I guess we can go downtown or something...”

“Sounds good. Want to go to Phillipes?”

“Yeah, I’m down for that.”

He shifted the car into drive and took off. I skipped through a few songs and stopped on “Myage”. Billie gave a content smile and kept his eyes focused on the road. My eyes scanned the trees and buildings we passed by as I began to quietly sing along with the music. Billie smirked as he began to pat the steering wheel with the beat of the drums. He let out a loud and obnoxious laugh when I turned to him and began playing the air bass. We eventually got off the freeway and began driving through Chinatown. I pointed out a parking spot and Billie reluctantly pulled into it. He grabbed onto my hand once I hopped out of the van, which extracted a wary look from me, but he continued to give me a spritely smile. I rolled my eyes at him as I played along and started walking with him towards Phillipes.

We came across a man on the sidewalk playing a violin. Billie and I smiled as we both recognized the song he was playing. He grinned at me before taking a seat next to the man and singing the rest of the song. The man looked over at Billie in shock, but then a huge smile spread across his face as he continued playing the song. Billie gestured for me to sit down during the bridge, but ended up bringing me to the ground by force. He made a funny face at me and pointed before the final verse came up. I laughed as we both sang the final lyrics together.

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life...”

The man playing the violin bowed the final note and immediately shook our hands. The crowd that had developed around the three of us began clapping and tossing money into the man’s small violin case. Billie ended up having to take pictures and sign autographs for all of the people who saw the performance.

“You guys are great singers,” said the violinist.

“Thanks so much.” I blushed. “You’re amazing at the violin.”

“Never thought that I’d bump into the singer of Green Day... That’s always a trip.” He chuckled.

“Here, why don’t you hold on to this?”

I reached into my purse and pulled out a twenty. He immediately looked up at me with reassuring eyes. I smiled and placed it into his hand.

“You’re amazingly talented and deserve so much more than this.” I gave him a subtle smile and turned to Billie who was ready to leave.

“It was great meeting you.” Billie grinned and patted the man’s back.

“God bless.”

Billie wrapped his arms around my shoulders and continued walking to our lunch venue. I felt my phone vibrating in my purse. I saw that it was around one o’clock and I briefly glanced at the text from an unknown number. I’ve seen the number before, but I don’t want to risk talking to some random stranger that happened to get the wrong number. I tossed the phone back into my bag and walked into one of Los Angeles’ food landmarks. It’s a weekday, so there aren’t too many people here. We get in line, order our food, and then bring our sandwiches to an empty table.

“I want to make love to this sandwich...” Billie moaned as he took a gigantic bite.

“Please don’t...” I eye him as I take a humble bite from my sandwich.

“Fine...” He holds his sandwich close to his face. “Maybe later...”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him as I continued to eat my sandwich.

“So, what was this important news you’ve been meaning to tell me?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Um, I’m going to get us a box to-go...” He wiped his mouth and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh... Okay.”

He had already left the table to go get a box. My mind seemed a little uneasy with the numerous thoughts and conclusions on what he plans on telling me. He jogged back to the table and began putting the other halves of our sandwiches into the box. I tried looking him in the eye, but he purposely kept his focus on handling the sandwiches.

“Billie?” I called him quietly, trying to find out what was wrong.

He closed the box and let out a heavy sigh. His eyes finally met mine as he chewed on his lip.

“Let’s go for a walk?” He said in a tone as if he was about to tell me that a close friend died.

“Yeah, let’s go...”

He put on his shades and readjusted his beanie before we left the restaurant. I didn’t take my eyes off of him. I’m aching to know what he needs to tell me. He let out another heavy sigh and looked over at me.

“It seemed like a mutual rule to not speak of that... one day.” He made an odd face as we continued walking.

“Well, to be quite honest, I don’t know what happened that day.” I scoffed. “I just know that Joey and Adrienne found out about everything.”

“Wait... How do you not know?” He gave me an estranged look. “I know that we ‘agreed’ to never speak of it, but how can you not know? I sent Stevey to go tell you how horrible things were going...”

“Wait, you sent Stevey?” My mouth dropped a bit. “I thought he was just trying to get me to go back to your house... He didn’t really mention anything; he was just telling me how things were as bad as it could possibly get.”

“That’s pretty accurate...” Billie smirked and shook his head. “It was... really bad.”

“So, what? Are you going to tell me what happened that day?”

“Yeah, let’s just keep walking.”



I began driving away quick, my hand darting to my face to wipe the tears away. I looked into my rearview mirror and saw Lyn-z standing in front of the venue, staring at me as I continued driving away and out of her life. My throat was dry and my voice was hoarse. I didn’t stop calling Adie and Joey. I left voice messages and texts, one after the other. My foot slowly began to sink to the floor on the accelerator. I finally reached my house and jumped out of the car. There I saw Adie throwing all of my stuff out of our two story window and Joey was assisting her. They both saw me begin to walk up the stairs to the front door.

“You fucking whore! How dare you?!” Adie screamed as she tossed a skateboard at me. “First of all, you’re the biggest fucking asshole I know for cheating on me on numerous occasions with Lyn-z! I gave you a chance and now you just go and sleep with her?! And Joey told me about the time he caught you two in bed making out and you didn’t fucking tell me about it!” She began throwing my old vinyl collection at me.

“Stop throwing all of my shit, Adie! I’m fine with moving out, but you don’t need to destroy everything! Just calm the fuck down!” I shouted as I looked up at her and Joey. “It’s fucking obvious that I screwed up, can you give me a minute to explain myself?”

“No, get your shit and find a fucking hotel!” She yelled as she tossed one of my guitars out the window.

I managed to catch it, but the tuning pegs struck the side of my head.

“Adie, you can throw whatever the fuck you want out of the window, but can you leave my guitars the fuck alone?!”

“I couldn’t care less about your fucking guitars! I’m throwing every single one of them out the fucking window!” She screeched as she tossed out my Everly Brothers acoustic guitar.

“Mom, wait!” Joey shouted right as she let go of it.

My heart sank into my chest as I watched it shatter into a million splinters at my feet. I stared at the dead bits of guitar and then looked up at Joey.

“Why do you care about my guitar?” I asked subtly.

“I just care about instruments, okay?” He answered quickly.

“Is that really it? I bet you still care about the old man.” I smirked.

“No, I couldn’t care less about you,” he scoffed. “That guitar just meant a lot because I remembered the time I set up a romantic date for Lyn-z and I at the park where I serenaded her with that guitar... I still care about her, y’know?”

“Well, stop caring about her, Joey,” Adie hissed. “She had a baby with your sex addict of a dad.”

Joey looked down at his feet, sighed, and walked back inside the house. I bit my lip and shoved my hands into my pockets.

“What the fuck are you still here? Get off of my fucking property!” Adie screeched at the top of her lungs.

“I paid for this fucking house and you know it!” I yelled back.

I stormed into the house and immediately heard her telling me to get out of her house. I saw Stevey sitting on the couch with his legs close together and his hands linked.

“Are you okay, Stevey?” I asked.

“I’m mainly here to make sure shit doesn’t get more out of control than it already has gotten.” He shrugged.

“Well, can you do me a huge favor?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Can you go down to Telegraph and tell Lyn-z everything that happened? Tell her that everything is going terribly wrong and it’s not her fault.”

“Oh, okay... I’ll get right on it...”

Stevey stood up and walked out the door. I heard Adie’s screams begin to draw nearer. I frantically looked around the living room and kitchen for anything that belonged to me that I can take before Adie does. It was too late.

“Get your ass out of this house, Billie Joe,” she spat.

Out of nowhere, I felt her hand smack the side of my head. I fell against the counter in hysterics. She continued to bring her fists to my face, until I finally grabbed a hold of her wrists.

“I can’t and won’t hurt you Adie, but you need to stop hitting me this fucking instant,” I said in a threatening voice.

Her eyes narrowed at me as she compliantly stopped wrestling and dropped to the ground in a sitting position. I quickly let go of her and sprinted away. I felt her try and claw at my leg, but I escaped the attack and ran up the stairs to my room. I grabbed a duffel bag and began shoving random clothes into it. I also threw in toiletries, CDs, a book, and my camera. I zipped up the bag, grabbed a guitar case, and climbed out the window. I steadily lowered myself to a sitting position as I began to slide down the tiles. My hand quickly moved from the tiles to toss the bag onto the front lawn. I began crawling to the edge of the house where the drop wasn’t as high and the grass looked the most comfy. I leaped off of the roof with the guitar case and took a tumble. I forced myself to jump to my feet, grab my belongings, and sprint to my car. Adie was screaming at me through the bedroom window. I saw Joey and Jakob look over at me through a different window. I let out a lengthy sigh before I put the car in drive and took off.

I continued to debate where I’d go to stay. I had enough money to stay at a hotel, but it’s not like I particularly wanted to live in a hotel. I’m pretty sure Tre and Riley or Mike and Brittney would be perfectly fine with me sleeping over, but I kind of wanted this night for myself. My car eventually brought me to a Holiday Inn. I climbed out of the car and took my belongings out of the back seat. I carefully set the guitar Adie tossed out the window into the guitar case. My mouth went askew when I thought about my Everly Brothers guitar broken and shattered. I paid for a room for one night and made my way into the elevator. I found my room and began unpacking my things.

Once my hotel room somewhat resembled my room at my old house, I took out my phone and began skimming through my text messages. It was about midnight, but I had one text from Lyn-z.

I cant begin to explain how much i miss you. i know we made our goodbyes but if youre able to, come by my house. love you.

My cheeks turned red as I began typing out my response.

i love you so much lyn-z... you’ll never know how much i really love you. its definitely not because of me and adie’s breakup but ive been in love with you lyn-z. i just needed to tell you that. i wanted to get this out in the open before i came to visit you in the next day or two. dont miss me too much ;) ill see you soon.

My thumb hovered over the ‘send’ key before I finally pressed it. I frantically tossed my phone onto the nightstand and curled into a ball underneath my blanket.



I had been staying with Mike and Brittney for the time being, but I was already looking into some nice lofts and houses for sale. Mike and Brittney told me that I can stay with them for as long as I want, but I was planning on moving out in about a week or two.

“Did you want anything to eat, Billie?” Brittney asked me when she heard me coming down the stairs.

“Uh, that’d be great, Brittney. Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m making omelets.”

“Sounds good.”

I groggily staggered over to the counter and took a seat on one of the stools.

“You seem spritely.” Brittney scoffed. “How’s your morning?”

“I think I slept wrong, but besides that I’m feeling pretty good.” I smirked.

“I doubt you slept wrong; that bed is sort of worn out... I have to remind Mike to get a new one. It’s not too often that we have guests stay over, so he always forgets.” She shrugged. “So, why are you feeling ‘pretty good’?”

“Well, I plan on dropping by Lyn-z’s after I eat this delicious omelet that you’re about to give me.” I smiled wide.

“Ah, I see...” She smiled, too. “You miss her?”

“Yeah, I really do,” I sighed. “It’s only been two days, but I miss her like crazy. I can’t wait to see her and Joan’s faces.”

Brittney gave me an encouraging smile as she set down an omelet in front of me.

“Well, I wish you the best of luck.” She smirked. “Feel free to watch television. I’m going to go upstairs and wake up Mike.”

“Thanks, Brittney. Have fun with Mike.”

“Oh, I plan on it.” She chuckled and jogged up the stairs.

I smirked and walked over to the TV and turned it on. I sat down and changed it Comedy Central. My stomach growled, telling me to pick up my fork and eat already. I devoured my omelet while watching the Daily Show. I let out a content sigh as I got up and put my dish in the sink. My spirits lifted when I remembered that I’m seeing Lyn-z and Joan today. I quickly brushed my teeth, threw on some clean clothes, and ran out the door. My thumb frantically pressed the ‘unlock’ button and I threw myself into the driver’s seat. My entire body was tingling and felt completely ecstatic. I didn’t want to think about Adrienne. I love her with all my heart, but that is what’s going to kill me. I need to stop thinking about her if I ever want to move on.

My foot was extremely impatient whenever I reached a red light. It hit the floor the very second it turned green. I finally reached Lyn-z’s house and got out of my car. My presence became more composed as I walked up the pathway to her door. I took a deep breath before I rang the doorbell. Jeff opened the door with a small smile on his face.

“Hey, Billie Joe,” he welcomed. “How are you?”

“Things aren’t the best, but y’know I don’t want to bug you with my problems.” I smirked. “So, is it okay if I come in and talk with Lyn-z?”

He let out a scoff and ran a hand through his tuft of blonde hair.

“She’s gone, Bill,” he stated.

“What... What do you mean?” I stuttered.

“She’s in LA now. She told me about her and Joey’s break up and how she just needs to leave and start a new life anywhere besides here.” His voice faltered a bit. “She just left with Mason... She didn’t really say good bye last night. She made her goodbyes to Joan, but she just... waved at me.”

“She left last night?” I said, stunned. I had talked myself out of visiting her yesterday. “I can’t believe this...”

“Me neither, Bill. Me neither...”

“Do you think that I can say ‘hi’ to Joan?” I asked with a bit of hope in my voice.

“I’m sorry, Billie, but I think it’d be best if you leave... I’m not taking this so well and I don’t think Joan is either.” He sighed. “I doubt you’re feeling any better about this whole situation, but we need time alone. You’re welcome to come by any other time. It was nice seeing you, Billie. Goodbye.”

“Bye, Jeff,” I sighed and began lumbering myself back towards my car.

As I made my way back to my car, I pulled out my phone and checked my messages. I had no idea why Lyn-z would just get up and leave without any notice. I gathered up the guts to tell her that I love her, and she just decides to move to LA with some random guy. I climbed into my car and brought my attention back to my phone. My eyes were beginning to get a bit misty, but I tried my best to ignore them. There was a red exclamation point next to my text messages. I clicked through and found the problem in my inbox. My phone never sent the message to Lyn-z.



We walked back to the van in complete silence. When we both climbed into our seats, Billie started up the car and pulled out of the parking space. He shifted it into drive and began driving back to my home.

“Y’know I’m sorry, right?” I finally cracked this unbearable silence.

“Of course, Lyn-z...” He scoffed. “You couldn’t really do much about it... You never got the text I sent you.”

“Well, I at least should’ve told you that I was leaving.”

“If you did, I’m pretty sure I would have been able to talk you out of it.” He smirked. “But, all in all, I would’ve found out eventually.”

He paused for a moment and looked over at me for a second.

“I just hate bringing up the past, y’know?” He shook his head.

“That’s why I always prefer to live in the present.” I smiled, stupidly. “Last night one of our fans walked up to me with our first album; I didn’t even know what to do with myself.”

“Does it bother you when you think about those years?”

“I don’t know why, but I just feel like I hurt a lot of people... I know who I did specifically, but I feel like I let everyone down and ruined everything when I left.”

Billie bit his lip and continued staring through the windshield. I let out a deep sigh and leaned my head against the window.

“I had a lot of fun back then... I really did...” I cracked a smile. “Joey was a great boyfriend.”

“You miss him?”

“Of course... It’d be great to see him again, but I doubt he’d really be jazzed to see me.” I laughed. “It’s not like I have this big, evil scheme to woo Joey and elope with him in Vegas, I just think it’d be nice to see him on better terms.”

“Yeah, I understand.” His mouth skewed. “It took a few years for Joey to agree to talk to me again... I talked to Adrienne, but it always had to do with which weekends I got Jakob.”

“I guess you’ll be talking to her much more...”

“Yeah, but things are different now... We’ve grown up and moved on. She’s been dating, so you can say that she’s doing well.”

“And how about you? Are you doing well?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” He shrugged. “Good as it gets...”

I sighed and checked my phone. I saw that Mason had sent me a text message.

cant wait to see you tonight, babe.

I checked what time I had received the text message and saw that it was from a couple of hours ago. My fingers anxiously played around with the on and off button of my iPhone. I’m not even sure if I have feelings for Billie, but if I did, finding out that Mason and I are dating would ruin any chance to figure out if I have feelings for him. We pulled up in front of my house against the curb and got out of the van. I saw Mason’s car parked across the street. I gritted my teeth and began walking to the front door with Billie. Before I could say anything, Billie knocked on the door. Almost immediately, Mason showed up with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey, Mason!” Billie greeted with confusion that slowly churned to happiness. “It’s been a year or two since I’ve last seen you.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while...” He smiled and nodded in agreement. “Well, you guys should come on in; it’s starting to get pretty cold outside.”

I showed a subtle smile when Billie looked over at me with an enthusiastic grin on his face. I slowly followed him inside. Joan was sitting at the table doing homework, Macy was strumming away on my acoustic in the corner of the room, and Alan was nowhere to be seen. We followed Mason into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. I cautiously sipped my beverage as Mason hopped onto the counter and looked over at us, chugging his beer as well.

“So, what was it that you wanted to talk about?” Mason finished his swig and raised his eyebrows at me.

“Um, I kind of wanted to talk to you in private about that...” I hushed.

Billie made a weird face at me and then looked at Mason.

“What? Why?” Mason scoffed. “Just tell me.”

“Well, it’s sort of a surprise and it’s also something serious we need to talk about.”

“Okay... I wanted to take you out to dinner anyways, so...”

Mason hopped off of the counter and downed the rest of his beer. Billie continued to give me an odd look.

“Oh, you guys are going out to dinner?” Billie raised an eyebrow. “So, you don’t mind me crashing here again?”

“Of course not.” I smiled a little and put my hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, I have to go to the bathroom before we leave,” Mason said as he walked over to me and Billie. “I missed you, babe, and I can’t wait to have dinner.”

He chuckled before he pecked my lips. I let out an awkward sigh as he walked away. My body slowly turned to Billie as I plastered a fake smile across my face.

“Babe?” He let out a ridiculous scoff as he walked over to the dining room table to grab his jacket. “You could’ve just told me, y’know?”

“No, I couldn’t have just told you...” I eyed him, warily.

“Have you guys honestly been together all of these years without me even knowing it?” He scoffed and walked back to where I was standing.

“We’ve been on and off all of these years, Billie,” I sighed. “You would always visit the times we were fighting or decided not to speak to each other. Lately, we’ve been getting together quite well...”

“That’s just jolly!” He said, spritely.

“Billie, please don’t go.” I put a hand on my hip. “I’m going to tell Mason how I’m leaving to go on tour with you... Can you stay for a while longer?”

“You’re telling him that you’re leaving him to go on tour?” A smile began to spread across his face.

“I’m telling him that I’m leaving here to go on tour,” I corrected. “He gets annoyed easily, so he’ll probably break it off with me. Just let me go out to dinner with him and let him know, okay?”

“And what if he doesn’t break it off with you?”

“Well, I’m going to be gone for a long time.” I shrugged.

I heard the toilet flush from the hallway bathroom. Mason strolled out of the bathroom, putting on his leather jacket.

“Are you ready?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I said, as my mouth tightened.

I glanced over at Billie and met eyes with him. His mouth went askew as he gave me that signature look with the puppy dog eyes. I looked away and followed Mason to the door. We made our goodbyes and left. Mason tugged me close to his body and planted a kiss on the side of my head. We both climbed into his car and sat in silence.

“So, where did you want to go to dinner?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Listen, Mason, I really need to tell you something...” I started. “Billie gave me some pretty big news yesterday... I mean huge news...”

“Well, what is it?”

I let out a long sigh before I met eyes with him.

“I’m going to have to leave for a while... Reprise is signing Avenue Rage, so we’re going to start touring with Green Day in a week or two.” I pursed my lips and darted my eyes to the side because I couldn’t stand looking into his empty eyes followed by such an incredulous silence. “How do you feel about that?”

“I think it’s great!” He scoffed. “It’s great that people around the world are going to start listening to Avenue Rage. Why did you think I’d get mad?”

“Because I’m going to be leaving for months, or possibly a year...”

“Well, aren’t I going with you?” He raised a conspicuous eyebrow.

“Oh, uh...” My voice cracked and I hesitated to answer. “Sure?”

“Okay, great.” He smiled wide and wrapped his arms around me. “Touring is going to be fucking amazing. Maybe Stone Harbor can play a few songs, too...”

“Perhaps...” I said, bug-eyed.

My mind was about to implode thinking about how I’m going to tell Billie that Mason is coming on tour with us. I love Mason. I really do. But, now my life has turned into a dramatic soap opera that can relate to my teen years. I have two amazing men that I can be with, one that I’ve been with longer and the other recently presenting his inner feelings to me, and I have to make the decision as to which one I like more. I could always debate which suitor would be most ethical and reasonable for me, but I found that that never works in the long run. I need to pick someone that I love and can’t hold back my feelings from. Over the tour, I need to find out who I’ve loved all along.