Dance with a Devil

The door creaked as she slowly opened it. She took a step in and turned around and closed the door, making the exact same creaking sound. Even though it was late enough in the morning that Garrett wouldn't be asleep, she still thought it would be polite to be quiet.

Violet turned around and stopped when she saw Garrett in the kitchen, eating cereal.

"Hi," he said, staring at the Trix box.

"Hi," Violet replied, softly.

"You didn't have to leave the apartment, you know. At least not for this long..."

"I'm sorry," Violet whispered, walking into the kitchen.

Garrett looked at her, finally. She expected him to still be angry. He had every reason to. He didn't look angry anymore. There was something else in his eyes.

"I'm not mad anymore, Vi," Garrett said, sincerely. "Really. I'm not. I get it, okay? John...this is him. He's always like this. And I am the one who pushed you to do this–to help him. I was apart of it because–well, fuck–because I want my life back. I'm not mad..."

Violet could feel the tears welling up, the guilt weighing down on her shoulders.

"You should be," she said, her voice cracking.

Garrett took her hand in his and gave her the best smile he could muster.

"I'm not."

Violet closed her eyes, sighing. She opened them again and she said, "I went to his house last night. That's where I stayed the night."

Garrett was silent.

"I'm so sorry," she said, crying now.

He didn't look angry. Violet was shocked that he was right, he really wasn't mad at her. But she was also shocked that the news she just delivered didn't make him angry. That 'something else' in his eyes? It was sadness.

"Do you have feelings for him?" Garrett asked, quietly, releasing her hand and standing up.

Violet opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Garrett got his answer.

He nodded his head and gave her a sad smile.

"Right, okay...I don't know if I can do this anymore, Violet. I thought that you were just slipping through my fingers. I thought that maybe with just a little pull, I could win you back. You're already gone, Vi. I already lost you."

Violet shook her head, vigorously.

"You haven't!"

"You can't even answer me and tell me your feelings for John," Garrett said. He sighed. "Listen, I'm going to go stay with Trey or Jared or someone for a little bit. Just until we can figure things out." He sounded like he was trying to be positive about the situation, but there was nothing happy about it.

"You're leaving me?" Violet asked, her voice cracking.

Garrett closed his eyes and rested his hands on her arms. When he opened them again, he kissed Violet's forehead and said,

"I'll always love you, Vi. I'm just not sure you feel the same way. I'll just be there for a little while, but the second you want me back and you can answer my question by saying 'no', then I'll come running back before you can even say 'Voldemort'."

Violet broke down and Garrett wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. Violet felt like it was the last time she would feel this way again with Garrett. With him holding her and murmuring sweet things in her ear to make her feel better.

He let go when she calmed down a little bit. Everything was starting to catch up to her and she didn't know if she could handle it. Her mind immediately flashed to John and how much better she felt with him right next to her.

Violet watched him pack a few of his things into a duffel bag. With every shirt, Violet remembered a day that he wore it and memories flashed in her mind. That was all that they were now. Memories.

Garrett kissed her forehead again before he left and he shut the door behind him. Violet watched him go through the window and when he was gone, she looked around.

She was alone. Again.

Violet immediately felt the urge to drive away. In the direction of John's house. She woke up that morning, his arms still wrapped around her body. He probably didn't notice it because she left before he woke up, but it felt so calming. Violet felt like all her problems were just gone.

He made her feel so much better.

Violet sat on her couch and turned the TV on. The other thing that made her feel better? Harry Potter. She turned on the third movie (because it made her the happiest) and she dug out a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream from the fridge.

Her mind continued to go back to Garrett's question: do you have feelings for him?

Violet racked her brain for an answer. No, I don't like him because he used to be an asshole to me, he's not my type...I don't think, he clearly has a lot of baggage, and he's not Garrett. Yes, I like him because he's a better person than who he used to be, he knows me better than I thought, and he can make me feel safe.

"Oh, my God, what have I gotten myself into?" Violet whined to herself, as Hermione Granger punched Draco Malfoy on screen. "Why isn't this easy? Why is this so fucking hard?"

Violet had absolutely no idea about anything anymore.