I Did It All So Maybe I'd Live This Every Day
Will It Wash Away This Jet Black Feeling?
Mikey’s POV
When school finished Frank, Gabriel and I walked out to the parking lot I was surprised when I didn’t see Gerard or his car then I started to worry. Gabriel told me to calm down and not to think the worst, we got a lift home with Gwendolyn she drove as fast as Aiden and he did, it was no wonder they always bet us home. When we got home Gerard’s car wasn’t in the driveway, which made me feel better a little. I walked into the house expecting to see something bad but there was nothing except a note laying on the coffee table in the lounge. My heart stopped as I picked it up, it had my name scribbled on the front of it in Gerard’s handwriting, I opened it and read
Mikey
I’m sorry about this Mikey but I couldn’t handle it anymore, I just need a break. I thought about it this time and decided not to do anything really stupid. I’ve run away and don’t know when I’ll be back, I just need to get away for a while okay? I’ll write to you I promise, I didn’t want to leave you but I can tell you’re happy with your life. I love you Mikey and will miss you dearly but I needed to do this, I will be back I promise with all my heart.
Tell Frankie I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings and tell him I wasn’t using him and I did like him I’m just sorry it didn’t work out. Tell him it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t either of yours and I WILL be back when I’ve sorted everything out.
I love you
Gerard
Xoxo
As I finished reading his letter I collapsed in tears, how could he leave me? I don’t care if I was happy here why didn’t he take me? Why had my older brother run away without me? Frank was reading the letter over my shoulder when I looked at him he looked like he was nearly in tears to. I pulled him into my arms and hugged him tightly, he was the only one I had left, oh and Gabriel. There was a knock at the door, I broke apart from Frank and turned to see who it was, Gabriel had already answered it. Mrs. Winter was standing at the door looking shocked and sad,
“What is it mother?” Gabriel asked sounding worried.
“It’s your grandmother she’s past away” Mrs. Winter said quietly, Gabriel stood there frozen looking at her.
“Where’s Aiden?” he asked, she was still with her grandmother I instantly felt sorry for her, she was all alone with the news of her grandmother’s passing.
“She’s with her” she replied, Gabriel turned towards us,
“I have to go,” he said looking like he was about to cry. I practically ran towards him and embraced him, this wasn’t a good day for any of us. When I pulled away I looked into his eyes and then the next thing I knew my lips were against his, he kissed me back and then pulled away.
“I’ll see you soon” he said tenderly as he wiped away my tears then he walked out of the door. That whole scene made me think of a wife’s husband going off to war and her not knowing when he was going to come back, funny thing was I was the wife.
A minute later I heard the roar of his car and then saw as he speed off past our house and to his sister. I turned back around to Frank who was sitting on the couch with my letter in his hand he was now in tears. As I sat down next to Frank I looked down at the note in his hands and remembered reading about how Gerard was sorry that he didn’t mean to hurt Frank’s feelings, that he wasn’t using him, that he did like Frank and that he was sorry it didn’t work out. What did that all mean? Was there something going on between Frank and Gerard?
“Frank what did Gerard mean?” I asked as we lay in each other’s arms, we were all that each other had now. Frank just stayed silent sobbing now and then,
“Frank” I urged him rubbing his shoulder.
“We… we had a little thing” he explained as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve,
“You did?” I asked surprised as I lay my head on his shoulder.
“Yeah it didn’t even last that longer but…” he trailed off,
“But what?” I asked urging him to continue; I didn’t know why I hadn’t noticed I mean even thinking back over the last few nights I hadn’t noticed anything different except that Gerard was talking more.
“But he just made me feel wanted you know? You’ve got Gabriel and you two spend a lot of time together and we hardly get to talk anymore and I guess I just liked the fact that someone seemed to want me” he rambled on and then stared down at his hands in his lap. I pulled him tightly into a hug ,
“Frank I’m sorry I guess everyone’s just been really preoccupied” I apologized as his arms wrapped around my waist. Now that I think over recent events I had been relying on Gabriel a lot and not talking to Frank as much as we use to, Frank didn’t have anyone else but me and I had ignored the fact he was feeling lonely.
We sat on the couch talking over everything that had happened until the sun started to set, my mum wasn’t home yet which was good because I didn’t really want to tell her that Gerard had run away but then again maybe she wouldn’t notice. Frank and I fell asleep there on the couch it was actually pretty comfortable and at that time I just wanted someone there and I guess he did too. When we woke in the morning nothing in the house had changed, neither Frank nor I felt like going to school so we stayed there on the couch not moving much and watched movies all day, neither of us ate anything both of our appetites had vanished with Gerard and Gabriel. I didn’t want to do anything I just wanted time to stop and rewind to when everything was better or at least fast forward until everything was better. For the two days since Gerard left Frank and I sat on the couch in each other’s arms and watched movies, talked and slept. On the third day we had gone through all the movies in my house and we both wanted fresh air and a shower.
Frank and I were sitting outside after getting cleaned up he was having a smoke as I just sat there pulling up grass.
“When do you think Gabriel will be back?” Frank asked me throwing away his smoke,
“I don’t know hopefully soon though” I sighed, it’s been three days since he left to go and see Aiden after their grandmother died.
“Do you think Aiden will come back too?” he asked looking a little hopeful, I would’ve said he liked her a few weeks ago but I don’t think he does now I just think he wanted someone else to hang out with so he didn’t feel like a third wheel.
“I don’t see why she wouldn’t” I replied, if Gabriel came back why wouldn’t Aiden? I mean since their grandmother had past away there would be no reason she would stay there. Frank and I sat there in silence like normal, it wasn’t awkward it was thoughtful though I’m not sure that’s the best thing for both of us at the moment we need something to take our minds off the situation.
When school finished Frank, Gabriel and I walked out to the parking lot I was surprised when I didn’t see Gerard or his car then I started to worry. Gabriel told me to calm down and not to think the worst, we got a lift home with Gwendolyn she drove as fast as Aiden and he did, it was no wonder they always bet us home. When we got home Gerard’s car wasn’t in the driveway, which made me feel better a little. I walked into the house expecting to see something bad but there was nothing except a note laying on the coffee table in the lounge. My heart stopped as I picked it up, it had my name scribbled on the front of it in Gerard’s handwriting, I opened it and read
Mikey
I’m sorry about this Mikey but I couldn’t handle it anymore, I just need a break. I thought about it this time and decided not to do anything really stupid. I’ve run away and don’t know when I’ll be back, I just need to get away for a while okay? I’ll write to you I promise, I didn’t want to leave you but I can tell you’re happy with your life. I love you Mikey and will miss you dearly but I needed to do this, I will be back I promise with all my heart.
Tell Frankie I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings and tell him I wasn’t using him and I did like him I’m just sorry it didn’t work out. Tell him it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t either of yours and I WILL be back when I’ve sorted everything out.
I love you
Gerard
Xoxo
As I finished reading his letter I collapsed in tears, how could he leave me? I don’t care if I was happy here why didn’t he take me? Why had my older brother run away without me? Frank was reading the letter over my shoulder when I looked at him he looked like he was nearly in tears to. I pulled him into my arms and hugged him tightly, he was the only one I had left, oh and Gabriel. There was a knock at the door, I broke apart from Frank and turned to see who it was, Gabriel had already answered it. Mrs. Winter was standing at the door looking shocked and sad,
“What is it mother?” Gabriel asked sounding worried.
“It’s your grandmother she’s past away” Mrs. Winter said quietly, Gabriel stood there frozen looking at her.
“Where’s Aiden?” he asked, she was still with her grandmother I instantly felt sorry for her, she was all alone with the news of her grandmother’s passing.
“She’s with her” she replied, Gabriel turned towards us,
“I have to go,” he said looking like he was about to cry. I practically ran towards him and embraced him, this wasn’t a good day for any of us. When I pulled away I looked into his eyes and then the next thing I knew my lips were against his, he kissed me back and then pulled away.
“I’ll see you soon” he said tenderly as he wiped away my tears then he walked out of the door. That whole scene made me think of a wife’s husband going off to war and her not knowing when he was going to come back, funny thing was I was the wife.
A minute later I heard the roar of his car and then saw as he speed off past our house and to his sister. I turned back around to Frank who was sitting on the couch with my letter in his hand he was now in tears. As I sat down next to Frank I looked down at the note in his hands and remembered reading about how Gerard was sorry that he didn’t mean to hurt Frank’s feelings, that he wasn’t using him, that he did like Frank and that he was sorry it didn’t work out. What did that all mean? Was there something going on between Frank and Gerard?
“Frank what did Gerard mean?” I asked as we lay in each other’s arms, we were all that each other had now. Frank just stayed silent sobbing now and then,
“Frank” I urged him rubbing his shoulder.
“We… we had a little thing” he explained as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve,
“You did?” I asked surprised as I lay my head on his shoulder.
“Yeah it didn’t even last that longer but…” he trailed off,
“But what?” I asked urging him to continue; I didn’t know why I hadn’t noticed I mean even thinking back over the last few nights I hadn’t noticed anything different except that Gerard was talking more.
“But he just made me feel wanted you know? You’ve got Gabriel and you two spend a lot of time together and we hardly get to talk anymore and I guess I just liked the fact that someone seemed to want me” he rambled on and then stared down at his hands in his lap. I pulled him tightly into a hug ,
“Frank I’m sorry I guess everyone’s just been really preoccupied” I apologized as his arms wrapped around my waist. Now that I think over recent events I had been relying on Gabriel a lot and not talking to Frank as much as we use to, Frank didn’t have anyone else but me and I had ignored the fact he was feeling lonely.
We sat on the couch talking over everything that had happened until the sun started to set, my mum wasn’t home yet which was good because I didn’t really want to tell her that Gerard had run away but then again maybe she wouldn’t notice. Frank and I fell asleep there on the couch it was actually pretty comfortable and at that time I just wanted someone there and I guess he did too. When we woke in the morning nothing in the house had changed, neither Frank nor I felt like going to school so we stayed there on the couch not moving much and watched movies all day, neither of us ate anything both of our appetites had vanished with Gerard and Gabriel. I didn’t want to do anything I just wanted time to stop and rewind to when everything was better or at least fast forward until everything was better. For the two days since Gerard left Frank and I sat on the couch in each other’s arms and watched movies, talked and slept. On the third day we had gone through all the movies in my house and we both wanted fresh air and a shower.
Frank and I were sitting outside after getting cleaned up he was having a smoke as I just sat there pulling up grass.
“When do you think Gabriel will be back?” Frank asked me throwing away his smoke,
“I don’t know hopefully soon though” I sighed, it’s been three days since he left to go and see Aiden after their grandmother died.
“Do you think Aiden will come back too?” he asked looking a little hopeful, I would’ve said he liked her a few weeks ago but I don’t think he does now I just think he wanted someone else to hang out with so he didn’t feel like a third wheel.
“I don’t see why she wouldn’t” I replied, if Gabriel came back why wouldn’t Aiden? I mean since their grandmother had past away there would be no reason she would stay there. Frank and I sat there in silence like normal, it wasn’t awkward it was thoughtful though I’m not sure that’s the best thing for both of us at the moment we need something to take our minds off the situation.