What a Wicked Game

It was December 20th, 2005 and today was Jeremy’s birthday. He was turning six, which meant he was old enough in Lindsey’s book to go to a concert-if they had backstage tickets to said concert. For the entire year Jeremy was saying how much he wanted to go see “Corey’s band” play. Every time Lindsey picked him up from school he would ask her to put in one of their CDs. The biggest smile would be on his face.

A few weeks before his birthday Jeremy asked Lindsey if they could go see Slipknot since they were on tour at the moment for Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses. As much as she loved their music, even she never got the chance to see them live because there was no time for her to do so. Plus, Jeremy was a little too young to have loud music blaring in his ears (at least she thought so). So she called Clown and asked if he could get them backstage passes to one of their shows in Iowa.

Prelude 3.0 was playing and the nine guys were starting to creep onstage, carrying their instruments or walking around, taunting the crowd. Lindsey and Jeremy were standing way off to the side of the stage, watching excitedly. Someone tapped her shoulder, and when she turned around she nearly screamed her head off. “Corey Taylor, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Corey smiled triumphantly and walked onstage with his middle finger held high in the air towards the crowd. Then suddenly the intro of The Blister Exists started playing thunderously. Lindsey looked down to see Jeremy jumping in the air, yelling, with a smile on his face. He sang along to the words surprisingly well too, but Lindsey stopped him when he was about to sing “fuck”.

The energy was something to be amazed at. From the band themselves to the crowd, everything was raw and powerful. There was so much going on with the band members that it was hard to decide who to watch-Sid was hanging off Chris and Clown’s drum sets, Craig was mechanically banging his head back and forth to the pounding music, Clown was waving his bat around and chasing Sid, and Corey was singing with a voice like no other. Even Mick, Jim, Paul, And Joey, who seemed too busy to mess around, brought something more to their performance.

When their last song came to a close and everyone was walking off stage, Corey headed straight to Lindsey and Jeremy. “That was amazing!” She tried to yell out over the thundering applause of the crowd. He wasn’t stopping to see what she said to him. He kept walking slowly towards her, staring straight into her eyes.

“Corey…what are you doing?” He didn’t answer, but as he came closer she could see a mischievous smile on what could be seen of his face. “Corey…you know that mask freaks me out.” He was now only feet away from her and he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. It was only when he reached his arms out like he was going to grab her did she try running away from him, yelling and laughing at the same time. “Go away, Corey!”

Corey chased her all around backstage, laughing maniacally and waving his arms around. Just when Lindsey thought he was far enough behind, Chris came out in front of her and blocked her way. “Chris, let me through!” she tried to push him but he stood where he was, trying to hold her off until Corey reached her.

“Gotcha!” he yelled, pulling her away from Chris and tickling her sides.

“Corey, stop it!” she tried yelling in-between her gasps for air.

“Ew, get a room you two!” Sid made a disgusted face and pretended to throw up.

Corey immediately let go of her, “You wanna be next, little boy?” Lindsey laughed as Corey started chasing Sid, glad it wasn’t her anymore.

***
“So this is the only show you guys can make it to?” Corey asked as he, Lindsey, a sleeping Jeremy, Joey, and Jim sat together on the tour bus. The others were either outside talking or walking around the concert venue. It was late at night and very cold so they decided to stay inside where it was warm. Corey took a drag of his cigarette and blew it over to his right where no one was sitting.

“Isn’t Jeremy on break? You guys could finish this tour with us.” Jim suggested.

“I’d love to but I don’t know if we could. I have to worry about getting an actual job now that I’ve finished college and I didn’t save up enough money to be at a lot of concerts.”

Joey laughed, “See, Jim? Not everyone can be as “laid back” as we are.”

“Laid back? Bullshit.” Jim said, shaking his head.

“If anything, you guys probably need to lay back.”

“That’s a lovely suggestion, Lindsey, so I’m going to get some fucking sleep.” Jim stood up and headed to the back of the bus to crawl into one of the small bunks and get some sleep. All of them looked pretty worn out that it was a wonder they could even stand up without falling over. One by one, they all came back on the bus and into their beds, yawning and rubbing their eyes. Corey was the last one awake except for Lindsey.

“Aren’t you exhausted?”

Corey shook his head, “Yeah, but I wanted to stay up a little longer. Is there anything interesting happening back home?”

“If you think building a new Taco Bell is interesting…then yes!”

Corey laughed, “Hell, more food for us to eat.” He looked over at Jeremy, who was curled up in a ball at the corner of the couch, sleeping soundly. There had been a question looming in his mind ever since he met Lindsey, but he wasn’t sure of the right time to ask. Maybe now would be a good moment? “How come I’ve never seen his dad?”

Lindsey was struck dumb by the question. Her eyebrows were raised and her mouth hung open slightly, unsure of exactly what to say. She had been dreading this question ever since they had met but he never asked before…she figured he never would. It was a slim hope, but a hope nonetheless. She sighed, “It’s a long story.”

“Then give me the short version.”

“I’m just not really proud of it.”

“Hey, I’m not proud about a lot of shit. If you think I’m gonna judge you then you’re crazy.”

She bit her lower lip self-consciously. No one really knew why she left, not even Paige. Zacky knew, but only because he practically begged her when she left that summer. She took a deep breath, “You know Brian, right? Or Synyster Gates, whatever, the guitarist of my brother’s band?”

Corey nodded his head slowly, “Yeah, he’s a pretty cool guy. Why?”

“We were pretty close in high school but we were just friends. I never saw it as anything else. Anyway, you wanted the short version so here it is: my first time was with him on prom night.” She gestured to Jeremy, “And you can guess what happened after.” Corey looked slightly surprised and if there was another emotion he was feeling he hid it well.

“Then why are you all the way over here?”

For some reason, tears sprang to Lindsey’s eyes. Whether it was the relief of finally letting her guilt reveal itself or just because the memory of it was too much, she couldn’t tell. “When I found out that I was pregnant I freaked out. I loved Brian but I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I was eighteen, I didn’t know what love was, I didn’t know how to handle a relationship like that, and I…I ran away.” She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to stop the tears before they fell.

“Does he know?”

The question that she felt the worst about. She shook her head slowly, “No, he doesn’t. Jeremy doesn’t even know.” The tears came full force now as they rolled freely down her cheeks. She tried wiping them off with her shirt but she kept crying, defeating the purpose.

Corey wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. She hugged his middle, crying hard into his shoulder. He held her there for what seemed like forever as she cried silently, not even minding the tears that were staining his shirt. When her cries finally did come to a slow stop, they sat there together in silence. Corey didn’t want to let go of her. All he wanted was to sit there all night, holding her close to him, breathing in the smell of her light perfume, not thinking about anything else. He wanted to let her know everything was alright, that what she did was only a mistake that she could fix, and that he wanted more than anything to help her through it. Of course, he would never admit it.

She lifted her head and looked up at him, smiling softly, “I got your shirt wet.”

“Don’t worry, I have tons of them.” She laughed, oh he loved that laugh. “Are you okay?”

“I feel better now that I finally told someone.” She paused, “Corey, am I a horrible mom?”

“Don’t ever fucking say that, you hear me? Everything you’ve done has been for Jeremy. He is one of the luckiest kids in the world to have you. Do I think that you should really start thinking about telling him? Yes. But don’t ever, for one minute, think that you’re a bad mom just because of that.”

She smiled, “Thank you. That really means a lot.” She leaned up and placed a small kiss on his cheek. When she laid her head back down her eyes closed, tired from crying so much.

Thankfully she looked away when she did because Corey’s cheeks were blushing a deep red. “No problem.”

“Can I just sleep like this? Because I really don’t think my feet are up to moving right now.”

Corey smiled, “Why I thought you’d never ask, my lady.”

“Shut up.” She hit his arm half-heartedly due to the tiredness already acting on her body. Corey stayed up for a few more minutes, arms wrapped securely around her body, listening to her breathe in and out slowly as she fell asleep. He kissed her forehead before whispering a soft “goodnight” and falling asleep himself.