You Are An Example Of Better Things To Come

Josh spent the rest of the night avoiding me at all costs. For most of it he didn’t have to talk to me for valid reasons: he had to perform, he had to meet fans, he wanted to catch up with some guy from a band he met a few years back but when he went to the bunk early then the guys knew something was up.

“What the fuck’s up with him?” Max spoke a little loud but he wasn’t quite shouting earning a soft slap from Lauren for scaring her.

“Not a clue, he’s been like that all night.” Dan shrugged.

I stared at my phone ignoring the most recent texts from Chris that night.

“Do you know what’s wrong with him Steph?” Matt sat down on one side of me and Chris sat on the other. I nodded. “What is it love?”

“I did something stupid and now he won’t talk to me.” I looked at the floor hoping they wouldn’t ask any more questions. Unlucky for me Lauren did.

“What did you do Hun?” She brought over some paper hankies because she could sense I would break down.

“Remember my ex Chris?” They all nodded. “Well I know it was him you guys argued with the night in the bar. No one would tell me what happened so when he text me the next day out of the blue and asked if i wanted to meet up I said yes. I knew he would tell me the truth. Josh doesn’t fight so it confused me as to why he fought with Chris.” Lauren took hold of one of my hands. “Well we got talking and he apologised for everything he did in the past and we decided to try and be friends.”

“But why? The guy sounded like a complete arse from what I’ve heard.” Dan asked.

“Before we dated we were really good friends and all my friends from home are his friends so everything was awkward. It just seemed like the easiest option but now we’ve been texting and so when I told Josh he hasn’t spoke to me since.”

“So wait you talked and met up with him behind Josh’s back?” Matt asked trying to make sure he heard the story right.

“Yeah I realise now it was wrong but I didn’t want to tell him and we ended up like this across the other side of the world. Any time I wanted to tell him something got in the way.” I pulled my knees up towards me and played with the hem of my jumper.

“If there’s anything Josh hates it’s liars. That’s why he’s so angry, that and the fact he saw how upset you were when you talked about Chris and he couldn’t stand to see you hurt again.” Lauren pulled me into a hug once Dan had finished talking.

“I know, I was stupid and now he won’t talk to me. How do I fix it?”

“You just have to give him time love.” Max gave me a reassuring smile.

“Ok, I’m sure i can do that even though not talking to him is killing me.” I fake smiled before heading off to my bunk.

I stopped outside Josh’s bunk that I had so often climbed in when i couldn’t sleep in my own one or didn’t want to go to my own bunk. For the first night in a while I was going to have to do without him.

Two days later Josh was still not talking to me and moping around except when fans were there and we got a glimpse of the Josh he used to be. The rest of the guys told me just to wait and he would come round but to be fair I didn’t think I could wait much longer getting the silent treatment. His last girlfriend lied to him a lot and i hated being compared to her. I began to feel almost like i was ruining the tour for them.

After tossing and turning for hours with no signs of sleep I decided to go sit in the back lounge. The fifa crown was laying a little crumpled on the sofa and it made me think back to all the times we had played it here, Josh teaching me how to play it and him being undefeated. Looking at it gave me an idea; I just hoped it made Josh talk to me. I found some red card laying around the bus and made a new fifa crown; I got some snacks and a selection of drinks and set up the game before sending him a tweet.

@joshmeatsix if you’re awake come to the back lounge.

I heard someone go to the toilet so i peered my head around the door and waited to see a sleepy Josh come back out and grab his phone. He made his way towards the door and I ran back to my spot on the sofa.

“What is it Amelia?” He sighed.

“Were you asleep?” He shook his head. “Good i didn’t want to wake you. I thought we could play some fifa. I made a new fifa crown since the old one is slightly wrecked. It’s red because of two things: one as it was the only card around and two because your favourite team is Arsenal.” My sentences all ran together like a nervous kid.

“Maybe in the morning, it’s late. Then the guys can play.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“I was hoping it would be just us, and then we could talk.”

“To tell you the truth it’s put me in a bad place. Brought back bad memories. That’s why it’s taking me so long to talk to you again and why it’ll take us longer to get back to normal. Sorry.”

“It’s fine Josh. None of this is your fault. If it makes a difference I’ll tell Chris we can’t be friends. I promise nothing happened between us other than being friends. You do believe me right?” My eyes met his as I waited on the answer that didn’t come. “Josh we’ll be ok right?”

“We’ll see love.” He smiled faintly before going back to his bunk and I sighed.

Once i heard his curtain close i picked up my laptop and looked for flights home. There was no point making things awkward for everyone on the tour and making Josh suffer.