Anything Goes

There’s something to be said about darkness; something in the way it seeps in and conceals all- something in the way that everything in its grip finds itself shrouded in ambiguity. It’s almost sinless.

With the door locked from the inside, Dr. Spencer Reid sat silently in the chair before SSA Aaron Hotchner’s desk. It was almost like an arm chair- in appearance, anyway. But sitting in it, one would swear it was stiff backed and rigid; structured like the dining table seat that Reid recalled from some vague memory of his childhood in which he sat for hours, waiting for a dinner that would never come.

Instinctively, he stood to pace. He felt as if he remained still any longer, he would explode. But, it was just as he made his first few steps around the office that a key slipped into its mate on the lock and gave entry to the man he had been waiting for. “Hey,” Special Agent Hotchner rarely smiled while on the job, so his enthusiastic grin in Reid’s direction was something of a gift- a reward for biding time. “Sorry about that. I had to turn the case write-ups in; Strauss has been riding my ass all week.”

Reid watched him cautiously; a thin-lipped guarded expression across his face. “Yeah.”

“It’ll only be a few more minutes, I swear.” Hotch- as he was often called- hurried around the office, tossing random papers into his briefcase with the best intentions to work at home. As a single father, however, it was common to come into work the following morning with nothing more completed and being another day behind. He sighed to himself, letting the thought cross his mind and then forgetting it. He was holding Spencer up as it was.

“Okay.”

With everything tucked away, he sidled up to the younger man’s side. “What’s the matter, Spence? You seem- distracted.” Sending a watchful look out the thin, office window into a dark BAU floor, he noted that they were alone. Only then did he place an assuring hand on Spencer’s back. In his ear, Aaron mumbled, “Oh, come on.”

Every night with Reid seemed like it was a first; Aaron had to earn his way to the young man’s heart each time, with no graces given. It was a challenge- an exhausting component to a relationship so intricate and complicated. “I just want to get going.” Reid whispered.

“Antsy tonight.” They broke apart and headed to the parking garage with a few feet between them. They met back up at the car that Hotchner had driven them both in that morning; getting in and heading out into the evening. “I called the babysitter- I have until midnight. I can’t break curfew again, I might just get grounded.” He let another smile slip, settling into his off-duty persona. Noticing that Spencer responded positively, Aaron allowed his free hand to wander onto his knee.

“I-I don’t mean to keep you.” It was another instinct of Reid’s to apologize. Half of his reservations with Hotch were that he felt he was stealing time away from Aaron’s son. Though he was reprimanded time and again, he never seemed to keep the thought to himself.

“You don’t.” Hotch felt a little strike of pride when his companion nuzzled his head into the shoulder of his suit jacket. A miniature victory in a tireless war. “Just relax. You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” In fact, he wanted nothing more. Being with Spencer was fulfilling, even in the face of the way it eroded his strength. The young man was there when he had no one else to turn to; and, like any of the addicts he profiled, Aaron found a sense of security in that reliable substance- no matter the pain it caused.

Finally giving in, Spencer let out a breath. “Okay. Let’s just forget I said anything.”

“Fine.” He parked the car and quickened his step to the other side in order to open the door. Into the heavy night air, the two headed to the lake’s edge at the park they had visited often. They both lay against the mix of immaculately green grass and soft sand, their elbows touching.

“Hotch?” Spencer whispered.

“Why do you always call me that?” Before he could get an answer, he felt a persistent tugging on his tie that pulled him straight towards Reid’s lips.

Six Hours Later

An alarm was ringing somewhere in the distance. For the first five minutes, Spencer refused to acknowledge it. Then, he blindly hit the snooze button. Five minutes later, he heard it again. Groaning in defeat, he threw his entire head under the pillow and curled his legs under his chest in hopes of drifting back to sleep in the fetal position. His effort was met with no success, as his phone began ringing. Without even sitting up, he answered the call.

“Reid.” He hissed his name in greeting. Most agents in the BAU knew better than to call before six. To be on the safe side, most simply waited to speak to him until he came in at six thirty.

“I set your alarm so you’d get up on time.” It was Hotch. Sending a weary glance to his clock, he realized that it was barely five thirty.

“That was you?”

“Yeah.” He had an amused tone; one that was not appreciated at such an ungodly hour. Reid made an angry sound- which only made Hotch laugh harder.

“Bastard.”

“Yeah, I know. See you in ten minutes.”

Hanging up, Reid stumbled out of bed and threw on whatever clothes were nearby. He gave a tired glance to the mirror and, noting that he looked somewhat presentable, shrugged in acceptance. Afterwards, he tripped into the kitchen. He found that his coffee-maker was already set up with grinds and water; another trace of Hotch’s presence in his apartment. He felt his lips twitch upward, but forced himself to frown. It was too early to appreciate any of Hotch’s careful favors.

Making himself a to-go cup, he was ready when Hotchner arrived. “Hey, Spencer.” He was snickering at how disheveled Reid appeared. His inferior looked entirely unenthused. “Let’s get going.”

On the drive to work, the young doctor perked up; becoming fully awake. He allowed his hand to be enclosed in Hotch’s larger one, enjoying a moment of naturalness before having to slip into a state of pretending. Before he drove the SUV into Quantico’s lot, Aaron pressed his lip to Spencer’s forehead. “Have a good day, Babe.”

They acted as if they were bidding each other goodbye because, in essence, they were. Once they entered the building, they were no longer allowed to be anything more than superior and inferior; Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner and the young Doctor Reid.

They both lingered in their seats for a minute longer before accepting a daily reality.