Fading, Like the Stars

How are you supposed to feel when you know that the end has come? Is it supposed to come as a relief? Aren’t you supposed to feel peace, at last? Rumor had it that you saw your entire life flash in front of your eyes when your last hour has come…

That is not what happened to me. Peace did not come, when I understood that my running had come to an end. I did not feel relieved, nor did I see flashes of my life in my head. The only thing I felt was fear. There I was, with Death knocking at my door, and I still could not part with this fear that had followed my every footstep.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what was going to happen, and then I waited.

Something happened, but it was not what I had thought would happen. I was standing in the street, with my eyes closed. The pace of the soldier quickened and grew stronger. I had nowhere to go. It was the end and I knew it. I was going to die. And I was terrified. And then, suddenly, I felt a pull.

Someone grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me out of the street. My eyes snapped open when I felt the foreign hand take hold of me, just in time to see the street disappear and to understand that one door had been opened and that I was being tugged inside a building. Steel and concrete flashed in front of my eyes, and then I found myself staring at the inside of what I could only guess was an old factory. My captor – I didn’t know how else I could call him, or her – was standing back against the wall, and my own back was pressed against them, so that I could not see who it was.

“What…” I muttered, but immediately something covered my mouth and muffled my speech.

“Not a word, you fool,” someone breathed next to my ear.

The voice, although it was barely above a whisper, was clearly a masculine one. Outside, I heard the footsteps of the soldier as he searched the street for signs of my presence. It was only when I heard him bang at doors and curse loudly that my mind processed everything that had happened. My heart began to pound at a dangerously fast speed in my chest as I fully realized just how close I had been to die. In an attack of sheer panic, I struggled to escape from whoever it was that had dragged me inside the building. I began to realize that perhaps he had saved me from that soldier, but that didn’t tell me anything about his true motives and intentions, and that certainly didn’t make them honorable. The fact that he had saved me from the Authorities didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to suffer an even more terrible fate. He probably hadn’t helped me just because it was an honorable gesture. People didn’t do that sort of things. They didn’t help strangers, especially if those strangers seemed to be running from the law. That was stupid and selfless. And during the long years that I had been on the road, I had never met anyone ready to do something like that.

I struggled to break free, to turn around and see the face of the person who was still holding me despite the violence of my struggling. My hands flapped around for a moment, before I managed to sink my fingernails into his skin. The man let out a deep, annoyed grunt. Still panicking, I scratched, leaving deep marks in the skin, and his grunt turned into a hushed hiss of pain.

“What ya doin’?” he hissed, pain still laced in his voice.

All noises outside the building had stopped, and I could only guess that the soldier had turned round and given up. In only an hour or so, a summary description of my person would be plastered on every wall of this rotten town, and it would be hell to manage to escape, with everyone being able to recognize me. That is to say, if I was still alive by then…

I thrashed around even more wildly, hissing and scratching like a wild cat, until he eventually let go. I swiftly skipped out of his reach, my heart still beating erratically in my chest. I would have wanted to run away. I probably didn’t have much time left before all the guards of the town started searching for me, now. But I didn’t know how I could go out of this godforsaken building. Or out of this godforsaken town, for the matter.

“This is what I get for being civil,” he groaned darkly. “Evil witch.”

The words were so unusual, and surprised me so much, that for a moment I forgot how frightened and panicked I was. I forgot about the exit I was trying to find and turned round to look at the man.

I was amazed to discover that he was nowhere as creepy as I had imagined him to be. In my panic, I had imagined that I’d been captured by a monster, but now I found myself staring at a man with a hurt look on his face. His eyes suddenly met mine, and he stared at me in a defiant way. He didn’t look anything dangerous, now that I saw his face. In fact, he even looked worried, and I was shocked to see that, perhaps, he was afraid that I would hurt him again.

“Who are you?” I asked, examining him from the corner of my eye.

He blew a strand of hair out of his face, and his green eyes met mine again. For a moment, we both remained silent. He cautiously watched me through his hair before speaking.

“Who are you?” he asked, carefully inspecting one of his hands.

I saw, with a fleeting feeling of guilt, that he now supported three large, bloody scratches on top of it. My fault. But for the moment, I still had no idea of what his intentions were, so the guilt quickly disappeared. My eyes narrowed, and I examined him again. He was considerably taller than I was, but otherwise didn’t look very dangerous. The stubble on his cheeks probably made him look older than he actually was. And the look in his eyes was not a malevolent one. But I had long learned not to trust appearances.

“What did you want?” I asked, taking a few more steps away from him, just to place myself out of his reach, in case he decided to attack.

His eyes widened.

“I … I just helped you,” he choked out. “Probably saved your life…”

“Why?” I asked, suspicious.

His eyes widened a little more, and he shook his head. “You know what,” he groaned, anger flicking in his eyes, “I don’t even know why I did this. Whatever trouble you’re in, I don’t want anything to do with it.”

Without speaking another word, he turned away from me and, completely ignoring me, he began to walk towards the inside of the building.

“Oh, wait!” I called after him.

He stopped and turned round slowly.

“How do I get out of here?”

A wince came over his face. He looked disappointed, almost as if he had been waiting for an apology. “If you don’t need my help, you can figure it out by yourself,” he said softly.

I parted my lips to retort something, but then something banged at the locked door. The incredibly loud banging was followed by a short silence, and we both froze, looking at each other with wide eyes. A silent question passed between us, and for a split second, I felt like I understood the stranger completely.

What is this?

Then there was a new banging, a loud metallic sound resounded in the building, and even the walls trembled. And I understood what it was. The authorities. They were trying to force the door open.

“The soldiers,” the stranger whispered, echoing my thoughts.

I nodded once, almost involuntarily. Then I closed my eyes. It had all been in vain. The relief I had felt had only been a temporary thing. I was still going to die… And I was going to take an innocent with me, this time. I had never wanted this. I opened my eyes again when the stranger swiftly grabbed my hand, securely holding it in his.

“What are you doing,” he said in a voice that he tried to keep calm, but in which I thought I could detect a hint of panic. “Are you mad, now’s not…” the rest of his sentence was drowned in the thunder of another banging at the door.

Again I had the impression that the entirety of the building was trembling. There was a creaking of steel as the door began to break. The stranger insistently pulled at my hand again. I did not hesitate one more second. Taking a deep breath, I braced myself for another running. And I followed him, wherever he was taking me. Instead of heading towards an exit that would have been known only by himself, he went deeper into the building. He did not stop when we reached an old, rusty staircase that looked like it was going to break at any moment. No, he began to climb it, still pulling me along with him.

We climbed, up and up, and up again, never stopping. It soon appeared to me that we were probably heading to the roof of the building, and I tried to recall, with an increasing feeling of panic, just how high this building was. It seemed that these stairs would never stop. I was already exhausted by my previous run and by my struggle with the stranger. My legs barely supported my own weight. My breathing was ragged and wheezing, and every breath I took seemed like a burning fire in my trachea. I dared a glance above my own head, and saw that the stairs continued on and on, as if they would never end. I didn’t know how I was going to reach the top. The stranger’s strong hold on my hand was the only thing that was still pulling me forward. I would gladly have abandoned all hope, if it hadn’t been for the silent encouragement of these fingers laced with mine.

There was another, loud, metallic banging, followed by the sound of the steel door breaking as it came off its hinges. That sound was enough to give me renewed energy, and I hurried up the stairs, faster than before despite the soaring pain that the strain had awakened in my legs. In my head, I silently prayed that the stranger knew what he was doing, and that he wasn’t just taking me to a place where we would be cornered, with no hope of escaping at all.

The higher we got, the rustier the stairs were. At least, if they broke, then the soldiers wouldn’t be able to follow us up. I vaguely wondered if they were going to call up a helicopter to get us, or if they would just leave us there to die of hunger. That thought, however, was quickly pushed aside as I heard the voices of the soldiers as they filled the building, shouting loudly and wondering aloud where we had disappeared. I knew that they wouldn’t be wondering that for long. The sound of our footsteps on the metal of the staircase echoed through the entire building, and it was only a matter of seconds before they heard it, understood, and followed us.

Just as I thought that, I heard the first footsteps behind us.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed, wanting to apologize for having put the stranger in that situation. It didn’t even occur to me that the soldiers could be after him too. I had spent so much time avoiding them that I was convinced that they were here because of me.

“Save your breath,” he said in a smooth voice, as if all the climbing we’d already done hadn’t tired him one bit. “Still five floors left…”

I quickly lifted my eyes, and I couldn’t help but sigh as I saw how much we still had to climb. I doubted that I would ever make it to the top. Perhaps it would have been better if he just left me here. Perhaps I could hide behind one of those pillars, perhaps the soldiers wouldn’t see me.

The stranger’s hold on my hand tightened. “Come on,” he breathed.

I did not answer. I preferred to spare the oxygen that was left, keep it in my aching lungs. The stranger was nearly dragging me now, and I swore that I saw stars dancing in front of my eyes. I could feel the sweat on my back, dripping down my spine and drenching my shirt. I had never thought that simply climbing a few – several – flight of stairs could exhaust someone that much.

We eventually came to a halt on top of the stairs. With his shoulder, the man knocked an old rusted door open. The cold air hit my face and I took a deep breath. I wanted to stop, to just let the air fill my lungs, and rest. But the stranger didn’t let me do that.

“No time,” he grumbled, dragging me past the doorframe and onto the roof. Then he let go of my hand for the first time, and turned to close the door again. Not that it would have been much of a protection against the soldiers that had followed us.

My eyes widened as I stood there, observing the surroundings, with the wind howling around me. I had never had the chance to observe a town from such a high spot, and the sight was breathtaking. It put everything in a new perspective. But once again, I did not get the time to fill my eyes with that marvelous sight.

“Come,” the man said, his fingers closing around my wrist.

I nodded once. I had no idea where he would be taking me. I didn’t see how we could possibly escape from this rooftop, but I had followed him this far, I might as well continue doing so.

He led me to the edge of the roof.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” he whispered, when he saw the look of amazement in my eyes.

“Quite, yes,” I mumbled, unable to tear my gaze off of the sea of roofs that was before me, drenched in mist.

“Welcome to the free world,” he said, a small smile appearing on his lips.

Before I could ask him what he meant exactly, he stopped on near the edge of the roof.

“What now?” I asked, panic clearly audible in my voice. How were we going to escape from here? There was no way out. Soon the soldiers would arrive, and probably shoot us. “How…” I mumbled.

Again, a smile made its way to his lips. “I can fly,” he said, and then he stepped onto the low wall that was supposed to prevent us from falling into the void. Turning round, he held out a hand for me to join him.

I hesitated. Was it better to join him and fall into the void, or to wait for the soldiers to arrive? Between one way of dying and another, what was the better choice? The stranger had another encouraging smile. I lifted my hand. But before my fingers touched his, I hesitated again. Why was I suddenly trusting him? Why did I trust him so much? I didn’t know him at all, I had no idea who he was.

I didn’t hesitate long, though. There was a new banging sound, but this time it came from the door that led onto the roof. I quickly grabbed his hand and followed him onto the low wall. There, my eyes widened in astonishment. Instead of the void that I had expected to see, there were roofs and ladders and chimneys. A perfect way out, going as far as my eyes could see.

“Let’s go,” the stranger said, raising his eyebrows. And then he jumped down, and landed on another roof, a few feet below us. “Come on!” he shouted.

I quickly glanced behind me, to see that the door that led to the roof was not going to resist the soldiers’ assault for much longer. Thinking that I had most certainly gone completely mad, I jumped.

I landed on the roof at the exact same moment the door broke and the soldiers erupted on the spot where we had been standing only a few seconds earlier. My eyes widened slightly, and I looked around, amazed that I had managed to jump without breaking every single bone in my body. In a second, the stranger was next to me again. Without a word, his fingers closed around my wrist once more as he helped me up.

I couldn’t help but throw another worried glance towards the place that we had just left, where the soldiers were now standing. He noticed my look and smiled.

“Come, they won’t follow us,” he said, leading me to the ladder that went down onto yet another roof.

“Why?” I breathed, glancing down.

“Because they’re scared,” he whispered in my ear.

He had only just said that something resounded behind us. They had seen us, and were now firing their weapons at us.

“Scared, uh?” I mumbled, my shaking hands grabbing the first rung of the ladder.

He let out an annoyed grunt. “No time for that,” he groaned, gripping my arm as he jumped down.

I let out a brief shriek of terror as the ground disappeared beneath my feet. The distance that separated us from the roof was much bigger than that we had just jumped. My crying stopped, however, when I heard the detonation of another gun in the distance, and I gritted my teeth, waiting for the unavoidable collision with the concrete. The man hit the roof just a second before I did, rolled on the floor and stood up, apparently unscathed. My landing was much less graceful. I collided with the concrete, knees and elbows first. He immediately got me up again.

“Just a few scratches and bruises,” he grumbled. “Nothing Merveille won’t be able to fix.” And then he dragged me forward again.

Tears sprung into my eyes when my ankle cracked ominously, but he ignored that just like he had ignored the other damages that had been inflicted to my body.

“Nothing Merveille won’t be able to fix,” he repeated mysteriously as he forced me to jump onto yet another roof.

The man, whoever he was, seemed to know what he was doing, and after a few seconds, I heard no more sounds of the soldiers. We continued to climb ladders and jump from roof to roof, him as if he had done it all his life, and me doing my best to follow him.

He stopped only when we reached what seemed to be our final destination: a sort of camp that had been established just outside the walls of the town. There were horse-drawn caravans scattered all across the field, and my eyes widened yet once more when I realized what this was. A circus. Out of all the things I would have expected to discover, out of everything that I had seen this day, this was undoubtedly the strangest. A circus. If I had even expected… The stranger let himself fall in the grass, and I imitated him, less gracefully, as usual. For a second he looked at me, like he was debating something with himself, and then he slowly nodded.

“Right,” he grumbled to himself. “Merveille.”

With a move of his head, he told me that I had to follow him, and walked straight to a red caravan. A chime hung in front of the door, waving wildly and resounding loudly in the wind. He climbed the five steps that led to the door and knocked. The door almost immediately opened, revealing a plump, middle-aged woman. From where I was standing, it seemed that her eyes narrowed quite significantly.

“Where have you been again, you know that we’re leav…”

The man stepped aside slightly, revealing my presence, and she stopped mid-sentence, her eyes growing as wide as a tennis ball.

“Yet another one,” she whispered with a small smile.

And with a wave, she ushered me inside her caravan.