I'm in Love With My Own Sin

Gerard’s P.O.V

Frank and I sat there for a while after that, really just grasping all that we had said to each other. I didn’t regret one single word of anything that I said. But this all just seems so dreamlike, like this wasn’t happening right now. After all of those years, I could finally tell Frank Iero that I am in love with him, and I couldn’t be happier.

I smiled down at Frank as I moved a piece of hair away from his beautiful hazel eyes, the ones that I would go weak at the knees just looking at. He smiled at me, this love filled smile that I have never really seen him smile before. It wasn’t a smirk or one of those cute lop sided smiles, this was a genuine smile that just shouted out, ‘I’m happy and this moment couldn’t get any better’. I felt the same exact way and I haven’t felt like that in a long time, the last I remembered, high school.

That got me thinking back to those bittersweet days. The ones where I got beaten up daily and called a ‘fag’, all of those jocks making my life a living hell. But, it was also where I met, became friends with benefits with, to best friends then finally to falling in love with, the one and only, Frank Iero. So, I guess taking all that torture for my self, ultimately turned into something great, amazing, astounding. All of the shit that I took was all worth it in the end.

I looked up to see Frank smiling at me once more, his dark brown hair pushed back behind his ears so that his hair wasn’t showering over that precious face. He slowly lifted his hand to caress my cheek with it, holding his hand there; he shifted himself upward so that he was closer to me. His hot breath blowing down on my face.

“What are you thinking about Gee?” Frank asked me, using the same nickname that he gave me back in high school. I smiled even more brightly if possible and Frank did the same.

“How things were back in high school, all of the name callings, the beatings, and that one guy that I cant remember the name of, but he was so stunningly beautiful and breathtaking that now that I look back on it, I wonder why he ever even hung out with me.” I told him, making Frank automatically giggle. The sweet sounds of his giggle made a cold shill just sweep up my spine.

“Oh him? Yeah, I know him I think his name was Gerard Way. Actually,” Frank paused as he tapped his finger to his chin aimlessly with an eyebrow raised. “You look a whole lot like him.” He finished as he tried to look pondering.

I laughed aloud at him and wrapped one arm around his neck, throwing him into a one armed hug. He glanced over at me from behind my shoulder and smiled at me. I released him from my grasp and he looked over to me. He reached his hands forward until they met mine. I graciously took his hands and intertwined our fingers together. A spark just flew throughout my whole entire body.

“I am actually starting to miss high school.” I told him as I let out a little confused laugh. “I just really miss how there wasn’t any responsibilities, or you could just do whatever you wanted and be wild, you could act like a kid because that’s what you were, a kid. No one ever expected anything other than good grades from you. You didn’t need to work; you didn’t need to provide for yourself. You could just have fun and be a kid. That’s what I miss about it.” I told him as I let out a little sigh and I hung my head.

Frank tugged at my hands until I looked up at him. He sat there and looked down at me as he smiled. He had this look on his face, which just plainly stated that he had an idea. I was about to ask him what, but before I could he began to speak.

“Well, maybe, we could have a day back in high school. We can act like we did back in high school, before all of the crazy shit happened to us. Maybe just for tonight, we can pretend that I never moved away, that I have always been here with you. Just like high school.” Frank told me, hope in his voice. I smiled at him and nodded my head. He smiled hugely at me and squealed as he jumped up off his couch and pulled me along with him, almost stepping on Sweet Pea in the process.

“What are we going to do first? I mean around that time all we did was play video games and make out.” I told him grinning at the memory slightly.

“Hey! Excuse me; we did more than just that! We have actually had some fun and amazing moments!” He yelled playfully at me. Yes, this was the Frank that I remember from high school. Now that I look back on it, he was such a weirdo, but he was my weirdo.

“Yes, we did I wont lie, but all of those moments led to kissing or something of that nature.” I told him truthfully. He opened his mouth to speak back but then quickly snapped his mouth shut. Case closed.

“What do you want to do first then?” Frank asked me as he dragged me into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed out a water bottle. He offered me one and I accepted gratefully.

“Well I don’t really know its y-“ I began but was cut off by Frank squealing in delight.

“Twister! Lets play twister!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. I burst out laughing as he ran around his house like a mad man trying to find the game. I couldn’t help but wonder why a grown man at the age of twenty-one had the game twister in his house. But, it was Frank so I was not surprised.

Frank came back a minute later, holding the box that contained the game we would be playing. Frank smiled that smile where he attempted to show every single tooth of his and he yanked the mat out of the box. He got down on his knees and began to lie out the mat. I grabbed out the spinner and placed it close to the mat so I could spin as we played. This was going to be hard to play without another person being able to spin the dial.

“Okay! All set! Now, lets get this started Gee!” Frank shouted as he stood up beside the mat, a look of determination set on his features. I couldn’t help but laugh.

I spun the dial until it landed on the ‘right hand green’. I announced this to Frank who quickly put his hand on the correct circle and I followed suit.

Soon enough we were both twisted whichever way with Frank probably having the hardest time. His left hand was under his right leg with his left hand thrown across his whole torso and his left leg was spread out as far as it could go. He was wobbling whichever way and I cold tell he was about to fall over due to his loss of balance.

“Be careful Frankie, your going to fall in the coffee table.” I warned him as I noticed the direction in which he was falling in. I guess I spoke too soon for as soon as I said that he flew head first down into the coffee table.

“Fuck!” he screamed out as he flailed his arms out, attempting to catch himself before he fell. But it was too late and his forehead smacked right dab into the corner. He let out a pained yelp.

“Frank!” I shouted as I got up and ran over to him. I gently lifted his body up off of the floor and put him in my lap.

His eyes were closed and his forehead had a slight gash in it. Soon, blood started dribbling out of his cut and going down the bridge of his nose. I was worried, mostly because Frank was not saying anything, or moving what’s so ever. Then finally, to my immense surprise, he groaned and flung his eyes open, his hand automatically flying to his forehead.

“Are you okay?” I asked him as I cradled his small body into my chest. He nodded at me weakly and attempted to smile. ”C’mon, lets go into the bathroom to clean this cut.” I spoke to him softly as I picked him up in my arms.

Frank said nothing as I carried him down the hall and into his little bathroom to help clean him up a bit. All he did was look up at me and smile, this amazingly small, shy smile that I rarely ever got to see. I smiled back down at him as I reached the bathroom and kicked the door open.

I sat Frank down on the sink as I went to grab the washcloth that was handing right next to the door. I moistened it up a bit before I walked back over to him and gently placed it on his forehead. He hissed lightly at the contact but then slowly got back into a state of ease.

As I worked on cleansing his cut, I heard Frank let out this small, little giggle. I cocked my head at him and looked at him in a state of confusion. Why was he laughing at a time like this?

“What are you laughing about?” I asked him as I sat down the hand towel. He smiled at me and spoke.

“This is exactly like high school. Remember that first day that I met you and I got beaten up by Tom in the bathroom? So you took me to your house and helped me clean the cuts and stuff?” he asked me, smiling at the memory. I thought back to it and I couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

“That was when we had our first kiss…” I realized. Frank smiled at me and nodded his head quickly. I felt these butterflies start to fly around in my stomach and I instantly became nervous.

“Yeah, and it was amazing.” He told me as he moved his hand to where mine was on his forehead. He grabbed my hand and trailed it down to his cheek where my hand was now caressing it.

“It was the first day that I ever met you, and I was thinking about what I was doing, why I was kissing a guy that I never even knew before that day. I felt so weird because I knew that I would never have done that but for you, it was different. It started out as just an experiment, and I didn’t realize it, but I was starting to fall for you.” I whispered as I looked into Frank’s eyes, my hand reached down to grab a hold of his own. His hands were sweaty and clammy, probably from the nerves that he was experiencing, just like myself.

“I didn’t know what possessed me that day into kissing you, but I am so glad that I did it. If I hadn’t, we probably wouldn’t be like this, and I am so grateful for that.” Frank whispered back to me. I felt a rush of emotion just filling my entire being.

I sat there and starred at all of his beauty, admiring his features, his cute button nose, his kissable pink lips. The way that his long brown hair just fell out onto his face, making him look so irresistible. I looked at the way his mouth was slightly ajar, hot air just filing out of his mouth. He looked amazing, just like he always did. I was lucky to even be in the beautiful mans presence.

“Gee?” Frank whispered, breaking me out of all of my previous thoughts. I snapped my eyes down to his lips, where he had spoken my name.

“Frankie?” I whispered back, my voice almost cracking in the process. Frank looked over my features with half lidded eyes as he licked his dry lips, causing them to instantly moisten.

“K-kiss me?” he whispered and at this moment, I was in no place to tell him no. Instead, I gently moved my head forward to where our noses we touching.

I looked up into his half lidded eyes as he looked at me, already breathless and impatiently awaiting what was about to come. I finally did it and I leaned into him, cocking my head to the side a little bit to where it would be easiest to access. Finally, after five long, horrific, pain filled years, our lips met and I, for once, finally felt complete. I finally felt whole again. Right here in front of me is the second half of my heart. And I am not going to give him up ever again. He is the only person that I will ever need, and he is mine forever.