Status: NaNoWriMo - 21,112 words.
Exits and Entrances
cady grisham.
I wish I could be like most girls. Get your heart broken in a million pieces, accept the loss, then move on. Like a nomad or someone who actually lost someone forever. But of course, like every cliche heartbroken girl to ever touch this planet, I had to hold on.
Tears fell down my cheeks like waterfalls, leaving behind only trails of water and traces of salt. A picture was clenched between my fingers, your face smiling up at me like I had again just asked if seven was greater than seven. My body fit in perfectly in yours, and your arm, sinewy and thin, snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. A forest was behind us, a fire to our side, and black smoke rising in the air.
It was Katherine’s annual birthday bonfire, the night we spent laying on the trampoline and making out and promising each other ridiculous things and hoping and praying that no one got hurt in this.
We never said it out loud, did we, Tommy? That we were afraid of getting hurt? Maybe I let it slip from my lips once or twice, but I know you never did. But I saw it in you, when I would sit and vent to you, my legs crossed tightly and tears rolling down my cheeks. You never were obvious about it, but hey, I still saw the slight hesitation as you revealed something emotional about you.
Was that some kind of warning, some kind of way of telling me to get out while I still could?
I sometimes tell myself that if I had the chance, that I would. I’d get out and I’d never come back and I’d be happy.
But we all know that isn’t true, Tommy. I would have been miserable without you, no matter when I left, or I would have kept coming back to you. That’s why I’m so weak, Tommy. Because I gave you my everything, and you threw it back in my face like it meant nothing to you.
I need you to tell me the truth, Tommy. Did I ever mean a single thing to you? Or was I just an easy lay?
Because if I meant nothing to you, you still didn’t achieve what you wanted to.
Tears fell down my cheeks like waterfalls, leaving behind only trails of water and traces of salt. A picture was clenched between my fingers, your face smiling up at me like I had again just asked if seven was greater than seven. My body fit in perfectly in yours, and your arm, sinewy and thin, snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. A forest was behind us, a fire to our side, and black smoke rising in the air.
It was Katherine’s annual birthday bonfire, the night we spent laying on the trampoline and making out and promising each other ridiculous things and hoping and praying that no one got hurt in this.
We never said it out loud, did we, Tommy? That we were afraid of getting hurt? Maybe I let it slip from my lips once or twice, but I know you never did. But I saw it in you, when I would sit and vent to you, my legs crossed tightly and tears rolling down my cheeks. You never were obvious about it, but hey, I still saw the slight hesitation as you revealed something emotional about you.
Was that some kind of warning, some kind of way of telling me to get out while I still could?
I sometimes tell myself that if I had the chance, that I would. I’d get out and I’d never come back and I’d be happy.
But we all know that isn’t true, Tommy. I would have been miserable without you, no matter when I left, or I would have kept coming back to you. That’s why I’m so weak, Tommy. Because I gave you my everything, and you threw it back in my face like it meant nothing to you.
I need you to tell me the truth, Tommy. Did I ever mean a single thing to you? Or was I just an easy lay?
Because if I meant nothing to you, you still didn’t achieve what you wanted to.