Status: NaNoWriMo - 21,112 words.
Exits and Entrances
thomas shannon.
I gave it up for you, Cady. I knew you wouldn’t be happy if you could still smell part of what tore us apart on him, and I knew you wouldn’t speak to me if I was high in front of you. So what else was I supposed to do?
They say you’d give up anything for love. I gave up my everything to get back you, Cady. If that doesn’t tell you how much I love you, I’m not sure what will. I can’t exactly shout it from the rooftops or get it written in the clouds (mostly because I’m broke), but I gave up what made me forget you because I could once again have you. That’s love, isn’t it?
God, I sure hope so.
It’s February, Cady, but you knew that. Obviously, considering the mountains of snow on the ground and the air colder than a certain someone’s heart. You are more bundled up now, jeans tucked into tall Ugg boots that you think are ugly but are extremely warm, which I agree with, and your noodle arms are covered by thick sweatshirts, your hair covered with hats.
We don’t talk much in person. Our lives in school are so different. You hang out with the Honors and band kids, the achievers and believers, and Caroline, while I’m with the potheads and failures and future dropouts and teen dads. Funny, isn’t it, how our worlds were once intertwined to the point of no return, but now, we’re trapped in different worlds of our own?
I used to have this theory when we first broke up. It’s stupid, Cady, I know, but listen to this craziness. I thought that because we were so different in every way, from the worlds we came from to the social existence we chose to inhabit, that when we were together, we created this alternate universe, where we were the only ones that existed. Only us, all the time.
Crazy, right? And for the longest time, Cady, I almost prayed that it was true, despite thinking that praying was a waste of valuable time I wasn’t about to waste. Still, these crazy theories as to why we were no longer together formed into my head when it was empty of thought and emotion, and the best part was, through all of this crazy theory making, I lost sight of what was happening to you.
Like I didn’t know you dated one of the Shenas. What the hell is a Shena, anyway? But you did, for about a week, before you got bored, as the kid tells it. I also didn’t know you almost got kicked off the track team for and drunk and disorderly, when you weren’t even drunk.
I only knew you weren’t drunk because you almost never drank, and if you did, it certainly wasn’t during the track season. And anyway, everyone else was saying you were, which definitely meant you were almost perfectly sober.
I lost where you were socially because, like my theory so kindly states, I was too busy living in my own alternate reality to realize that you were living on without me. Because you didn’t need me.
Because you never had.
They say you’d give up anything for love. I gave up my everything to get back you, Cady. If that doesn’t tell you how much I love you, I’m not sure what will. I can’t exactly shout it from the rooftops or get it written in the clouds (mostly because I’m broke), but I gave up what made me forget you because I could once again have you. That’s love, isn’t it?
God, I sure hope so.
It’s February, Cady, but you knew that. Obviously, considering the mountains of snow on the ground and the air colder than a certain someone’s heart. You are more bundled up now, jeans tucked into tall Ugg boots that you think are ugly but are extremely warm, which I agree with, and your noodle arms are covered by thick sweatshirts, your hair covered with hats.
We don’t talk much in person. Our lives in school are so different. You hang out with the Honors and band kids, the achievers and believers, and Caroline, while I’m with the potheads and failures and future dropouts and teen dads. Funny, isn’t it, how our worlds were once intertwined to the point of no return, but now, we’re trapped in different worlds of our own?
I used to have this theory when we first broke up. It’s stupid, Cady, I know, but listen to this craziness. I thought that because we were so different in every way, from the worlds we came from to the social existence we chose to inhabit, that when we were together, we created this alternate universe, where we were the only ones that existed. Only us, all the time.
Crazy, right? And for the longest time, Cady, I almost prayed that it was true, despite thinking that praying was a waste of valuable time I wasn’t about to waste. Still, these crazy theories as to why we were no longer together formed into my head when it was empty of thought and emotion, and the best part was, through all of this crazy theory making, I lost sight of what was happening to you.
Like I didn’t know you dated one of the Shenas. What the hell is a Shena, anyway? But you did, for about a week, before you got bored, as the kid tells it. I also didn’t know you almost got kicked off the track team for and drunk and disorderly, when you weren’t even drunk.
I only knew you weren’t drunk because you almost never drank, and if you did, it certainly wasn’t during the track season. And anyway, everyone else was saying you were, which definitely meant you were almost perfectly sober.
I lost where you were socially because, like my theory so kindly states, I was too busy living in my own alternate reality to realize that you were living on without me. Because you didn’t need me.
Because you never had.