Status: NaNoWriMo - 21,112 words.
Exits and Entrances
thomas shannon.
I tap my pencil against the desk, not even bothering to pay attention. As Danny and Caroline giggle behind me, undoubtably somehow finding a way to mess around without anyone noticing, and I think of you, Cady.
Anything someone says, does, hell, even thinks, reminds me of you. I wonder sometimes if that happens to you with me, but then I see you with all your friends, laughing and smiling like nothing’s wrong and I know that it could never happen like that, but you were the one who broke hearts, never getting yours broken.
I remember the first party we went to when we knew each other. It was at Carlo’s, coincidentally, and the house was packed, with kids falling and stumbling over the dark lawn as I pushed my way up the front steps and into the packed, sweaty, and loud house. The entire house stunk of booze, sweat, and sex, three things I had come to both love and hate throughout my freshmen year.
I remember that Carlo had told me I could come, only because he knew you, Cady, and knew I had the hots for you. Besides, he thought it was only fitting I was his first high school party.
You were in the kitchen, in this tight dress that drove me crazy. You had a red plastic cup in your hand, but judging by the shadows, it was full. You were surrounded by equally pretty girls in equally tight dresses, and yet somehow, all I saw was you, Cady. I remember how your eyes shone in the dark, and your laughter, loud and obnoxious, bounced off every puke splattered wall, but you were having fun, and that was okay.
We talked little throughout the night, Carlo, Danny and Jasmine shuffling me from girl to girl, teasing me endlessly about you. Jasmine pointed out the most obvious flaw in my logic. You, Cady, were absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out, and I was ... I was a screw up with nothing to lose, and yet nothing to gain.
I remember the smell of pot adding to the mixture had begun to make me sick, and having my entire body succumb to other bodies pushing equally as hard as I was pushing was making me go crazy. I had stepped outside into the bitter cold, only to find a beautiful girl swinging her feet off the porch swing, a pair of silver heels on the seat beside her and what appeared to be a bottle of crystal water in her hand.
I remember smiling, Cady. And that, truly, was when things simply became history. You had looked up nervously, and I could see it in your face, despite the darkness the late night had brought. You moved your heels into your lap, blushing scarlet. “I’ll leave, if you want to be alone,” You had said quietly, your voice hardly shaking. I was suddenly stuck with how complex you were, Cady. One minute you were confident, happy, and eccentric, and another you were vulnerable, scared, and nervous. I chewed my lip, but shook my head.
“No, I’ll come sit with you, if you don’t mind,” I had said slowly, just as nervous as you were, but refused to show it.
And I don’t remember much else, to be perfectly honest with you, Cady. Because I was lost in every word you said, the way you weaved them like literature while making it sound real.
You made everything seem real.
Anything someone says, does, hell, even thinks, reminds me of you. I wonder sometimes if that happens to you with me, but then I see you with all your friends, laughing and smiling like nothing’s wrong and I know that it could never happen like that, but you were the one who broke hearts, never getting yours broken.
I remember the first party we went to when we knew each other. It was at Carlo’s, coincidentally, and the house was packed, with kids falling and stumbling over the dark lawn as I pushed my way up the front steps and into the packed, sweaty, and loud house. The entire house stunk of booze, sweat, and sex, three things I had come to both love and hate throughout my freshmen year.
I remember that Carlo had told me I could come, only because he knew you, Cady, and knew I had the hots for you. Besides, he thought it was only fitting I was his first high school party.
You were in the kitchen, in this tight dress that drove me crazy. You had a red plastic cup in your hand, but judging by the shadows, it was full. You were surrounded by equally pretty girls in equally tight dresses, and yet somehow, all I saw was you, Cady. I remember how your eyes shone in the dark, and your laughter, loud and obnoxious, bounced off every puke splattered wall, but you were having fun, and that was okay.
We talked little throughout the night, Carlo, Danny and Jasmine shuffling me from girl to girl, teasing me endlessly about you. Jasmine pointed out the most obvious flaw in my logic. You, Cady, were absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out, and I was ... I was a screw up with nothing to lose, and yet nothing to gain.
I remember the smell of pot adding to the mixture had begun to make me sick, and having my entire body succumb to other bodies pushing equally as hard as I was pushing was making me go crazy. I had stepped outside into the bitter cold, only to find a beautiful girl swinging her feet off the porch swing, a pair of silver heels on the seat beside her and what appeared to be a bottle of crystal water in her hand.
I remember smiling, Cady. And that, truly, was when things simply became history. You had looked up nervously, and I could see it in your face, despite the darkness the late night had brought. You moved your heels into your lap, blushing scarlet. “I’ll leave, if you want to be alone,” You had said quietly, your voice hardly shaking. I was suddenly stuck with how complex you were, Cady. One minute you were confident, happy, and eccentric, and another you were vulnerable, scared, and nervous. I chewed my lip, but shook my head.
“No, I’ll come sit with you, if you don’t mind,” I had said slowly, just as nervous as you were, but refused to show it.
And I don’t remember much else, to be perfectly honest with you, Cady. Because I was lost in every word you said, the way you weaved them like literature while making it sound real.
You made everything seem real.