Promise Me The Stars

After dinner Forest disappeared back into his room with a bottle of water saying he was tired. It was only seven but he used the jet lag excuse again, which they accepted since he looked tired. An hour later she was watching TV with the guys and said she was going to go upstairs and get ready for bed.

"Forest," Hazel sighed as she stood in the doorway to her room and observed the destruction Forest had made with her luggage.

Her bags were strewn everywhere along with the items that had been in her backpack. Clothes, photos, cords to her electronics, books she could never part with, and everything else that had been in her bags were everywhere. The only thing that wasn't thrown somewhere carelessly was the blue scrapbook that she had spent so much of her time making with her mother. It sat on her bed like someone had placed it there carefully before they tore the room apart. Only Forest would do something like that, because he knew what it meant to Hazel, it meant the same to him. It held the last pictures and memories they could bring of their mother with them.

"Hey, what happened here." Matt asked out of nowhere. Hazel looked back at Matt standing in the doorway gazing around the room like it was a war zone.

"Couldn't find something earlier." she said shrugging and smiling. Matt raised his eyebrow and shrugged it away.

"Anyway, we're all leaving and Jimmy wants to say goodbye but for some reason he wanted me to come get you. Personally I know he's going to try and scare you." Hazel couldn't help but laugh a little before she headed for the door muttering something about Jimmy being insane under her breath.

Jimmy waited by the stairs, he was giving Matt a ride home but he wanted to say goodbye to Hazel so he sent Matt up to get her. He planned on scaring her the moment she stepped off the stairs. He heard Hazel coming down the stairs and Matt behind her. The moment he saw her foot he jumped out and screamed in her face. Hazel turned out to be Matt and he was glaring at him with his arms crossed while Hazel was behind him giggling and covering her mouth. Jimmy's eyes widened and he held his hands up to surrender.

"I'm sorry?" he asked, hoping somehow that it had made things better.

Matt raised his eyebrows and Jimmy took off through the house screaming. Hazel giggled and looked at Zacky as he came into the hallway.

"Jimmy accidentally scare Matt instead of you?" he asked. She nodded and he smiled and shook his head as if this thing happened all the time, with Jimmy in the house Hazel didn't doubt it. Suddenly Jimmy ran up and grabbed Hazel, pulling her into a quick hug that lasted less then a second.

"Bye Haze!" he yelled before letting her go and running out the door, jumping off the porch with one wild leap. Matt walked past calmly, giving Hazel a quick hug before going after Jimmy again in the car where they would be trapped together for some amount of time Hazel didn't know.

"I can only image how that car ride is going to go." Zacky said a small smile playing on his lips. Hazel smiled and took a seat on the stairs with her chin in her palm, letting out a sigh of relief from finally being off her aching feet.

Jimmy had, had the great idea to play football in the dark backyard. The only lights were those that were in the swimming pool and they made a weird shimmering glow from being under the water. They had played for hours until Hazel was yawning and Johnny and Brian had left, then Matt and Jimmy had decided it was time to leave Zacky alone with his kids for their first night in California.

"So how do you like the guys?" Zacky asked leaning against the doorway that lead to the living room.

"I think they're great. Jimmy's hilarious and Matt's really nice. Johnny and Brian are the same but I feel sorry for Johnny for being harassed by Jimmy all the time." Hazel said with a small grin.

Zacky laughed, "Yeah it's because Johnny's the shortest and Jimmy's the tallest. Plus Jimmy is wildly insane." Hazel laughed and brushed her black bangs out of her face

"Wanna come watch tv for awhile?" Zacky asked after their laughter had died down.

"Sure, why not." she said shrugging before standing up and following her dad into the living room.

They sat down and got comfortable on the brown couch that Hazel had already come to know. Hazel thought it was nice, sitting here with her father for the first time in, well, ever.

"Do you like it here?" Zacky asked suddenly turning to look at her on the couch. The show they were watching had been turned down so she could barely hear it in the background. She hadn't been paying attention to it anyway so it did't bother her.

Hazel tried to think of the words she wanted to really say but she didn't know how to word them.

"I like getting to know you the most. I mean it's not every day that you finally get to meet your father." She finally said, mentally hitting herself for sounding so stupid, in her mind anyway.

"Look Hazel, I know I wasn't there for you your whole life and i'm sorry for that. If I had known about you I would have been there for you and Forest. Believe me I would have, but your mother never told me about you guys."

"What happened?" Hazel asked. Zacky sighed and ran a hand through his hair and Hazel recognized it as something Forest was ALWAYS doing, they looked the same doing it too.

"I met your mom at a show in Colorado." Zacky started, "We were at an after party type thing and we hit it off real well and spent most of the night together. One thing lead to another, we drank too much for sure and we..." Zacky glanced at Hazel, not wanting to say what happened next because it would be pretty awkward to talk to his daughter about the night she was conceived.

Hazel smirked at the awkwardness that radiated off Zacky, "You did the dirty." she supplied.

"Yea." Zacky chuckled lightly and sighed, "We kept in touch for a long time, had a relationship for nearly a year and a half. She even moved out to California to be with me and go to college, but then suddenly she said we couldn't talk anymore and that she was moving back to Colorado. I had no idea what happened but that was it, we never talked again and I couldn't find her no matter how hard I tried."

"She was pregnant with me and Forest. That's why she stopped talking to you and moved away." Hazel trailed off.

"Yeah I figured that out awhile ago." Hazel looked up, her eyes slightly misty after she heard the way her father had spoken the words.

"She always told us that you didn't want to be in our lives and that we didn't need you. But you didn't even know, you must hate her." Hazel covered her eyes and then took off towards the stairs with blinded vision.

"Hazel!" Zacky called, he finally stopped thinking too hard about things and jumped up to run after his daughter.

He caught her at the stairs and pulled her into his arms without thinking. She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let go, she eventually stopped trying to resist and just collapsed in his arms sobbing.

"Shh, it's okay sweetie." he whispered holding her tightly.

Zacky couldn't explain the feelings that had exploded in his chest the moment he'd hugged Hazel. It was like he was holding his baby daughter for the first time, only she was now sixteen and he had missed everything. Tears pricked his eyes as he realized how much he had missed and how much he couldn't make up for. He couldn't take them to their first day of school, couldn't hold them the first time they had a bad dream. He had missed their first words, was 'dad' even one of them?

He absentmindedly glanced up and saw Forest looking down at them from the top of the stairs with a menacing glare on his face. Forest glared harder when he met Zacky's eyes and then took off down the hallway to his bedroom. Zacky sighed and held Hazel closer and set his chin on her head. He was hurting because Forest hated him, but he was grateful that Hazel accepted him.

Forest entered his room and slammed the door. He was seething with anger and he was on the verge of breaking everything in the room. He hated seeing Zacky comforting Hazel, he should be the one doing that because he was always the one doing it and Zacky WASN'T. They didn't need Zacky, he wasn't there for sixteen years why should they just accept him like that?! Forest ran his hands over his face, he was fighting with himself on whether or not he should break the mirror over his dresser. He knew it would just bring Zacky and Hazel upstairs and he didn't want to have to explain to him.

"Pills." He suddenly muttered, patting his pockets.

Raw panic filled his head when he didn't feel them, he knew he had put them in his pocket at dinner. He hurriedly started throwing his things around again for the second time that day. Only the pills could calm him down, could make him seem like a normal person for a little while longer.

"Where the fuck are you?" he growled shoving a suitcase away from him to the side. His hands started shaking and he knew he needed the pills before something bad happened.

"Calm down Shadow." He said sitting on the floor and taking a deep breath, he set his hands on his forehead and pushed his hair out of the way so he could think better.

"Okay dinner. The kitchen. Stools." he was muttering to himself all the things that had happened that night after he had gotten the pills. His head snapped up and he looked at the closed wooden door that beamed like a light.

"They're in the kitchen." he took off and stumbled over things as he ran for the door. His hands shook as he pulled the door open and made his way down the hallway loudly, not caring if he was waking people. His head spun and he had to stop and lean against the wall, not remembering where he was or knowing what time it was. It was late he knew, or early but he hadn't slept so it was late to him.

"Just get the pills Shadow." he grumbled to himself, closing his eyes and trying to clear his thoughts.

He had only taken one at dinner. He was supposed to take two every six to ten hours to keep himself in check. It had been too long, much too long and he was losing it. He knew it was late, he had spent a good two hours looking for his pills in his room. Forest stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, not noticing the TV on and Zacky sprawled out on the couch.

The kitchen was dark as Forest stumbled into it and looked around frantically at the darkened appliances, the humming refridgerator and the table that had leftover cups and plates scattered on it. He wasn't Forest anymore, he was turning into Shadow, the anger crazed 19 year old that was out for revenge on anything that had made him mad. All that ran through his mind was the want to murder Zacky at the moment. His body made for the knife drawer that he had found earlier but Forest stepped in.

"No, pills." he forced painfully out of his mouth. He was fighting with himself and it physically hurt him to go against Shadow. The whole thing was an ongoing battle and only the pills could make out Forest to be on the winning side and Shadow be pushed back into the corner of his mind until he needed pills again.

The orange bottle stood out against the spotless white floor and Forest went diving for it before someone else did. He didn't care if anyone woke up anymore or if Zacky saw him like this, he would care a lot later though. But right now he just wanted Shadow to go away again. Forest landed on his back on the tile floor and pushed himself under the table, his body getting tangled in the legs of the chairs. His fingers gripped the bottle and he pulled it to his chest to protect it from the monster that had also pushed itself under the table and snapped at his fingers. The bottle made the monster fade and he cradled it to his chest like a baby. Ever since he was twelve that orange bottle had been what kept him safe, it was his safety blanket.

His hands shook as he struggled to open the bottle and when he did he shook out two pills. Forest shoved them in his mouth and swallowed them without water, the dryness of his throat not helping the situation at all. He snapped the cap back on with his thumb before the pill bottle clattered to the floor and he leaned his head back against the darkly stained wooden cabinets.

Waiting for the drug to kick in he started chanting in a whisper to Shadow, "Go away, go away, go away."

He could feel Shadow getting sucked back into the corner of his soul that he kept hidden from everyone. A slight sting hit his heart as Shadow never went back without a fight, not once had he never felt that sting after Shadow had escaped, or attempted to escape. Forest's eyes drooped and his head lolled to the side slightly as sleep began to wash over his body. He had enough energy to push the pill bottle into his pocket again before he slumped over and fell asleep on the cold kitchen floor.