Mistakes and Regrets

"Where were you?" Pat asked as we slid into the booth. The others were already packed in, laughing over something Tim had said.

"Just getting some air," I shrugged. I could feel Garrett's eyes boring into me, and I faltered a little bit.

"So what did we miss?" John inquired coolly, and I silently thanked him. From the way his lips curled, I could tell he knew.

"Well, Rosalie stormed off all pissy like, and dragged the wanna be bouncer with her, and Jared and Mia made out," Kennedy summarized.

Everyone laughed as Mia blushed.

"That's not what happened!" Jared protested.

Kennedy raised an eyebrow, Pat leaned his elbows on the table, looking way too interested, Tim nearly spit his beer out his nose and Garrett snorted.

"Then what was it you were doing, exactly?" Pat asked smugly.

Jared opened and closed his mouth a few times, but just shook his head. "Alright, we gotta get going. See you kids tomorrow."

"Hot date?" Garrett waggled his eyebrows.

"You kids don't stay out too late now," I piped in.

"Have her home by 11 o'clock sharp, young man," Tim chided.

"Remember, safety first. Seat belts. And they have cabs for a reason," Pat advised sarcastically.

John and Kennedy looked at each other before words tumbled out of their mouths at the same time.

"Use protection!"

"No means no!"

We were all laughing hysterically as Jared glared. Even Mia cracked a smile, which she was trying to hide behind the sleeve of her leather jacket.

"It was nice seeing you all again," Mia said kindly. Gosh, I liked her more and more every time we saw her.

"You guys are fucking insane," Jared muttered. He placed his hand on the small of Mia's back and guided them through the crowd. As I looked around the booth, there wasn't a straight face in the bunch.

"You guys are cruel," I chuckled, trying to appear disappointed in their behavior. It was an epic failure.

"You know he'd extend the same cruelness to us," Kennedy pointed out, sliding over and draping his arm around me. I leaned my head against his shoulder, still beaming.

"Very valid point," I agreed. "Okay, I'm ruling fair game."

The guys whooped and hollered, slamming their respective drinks. I rolled my eyes, but followed suit with my own glass.

"See, Shay, things would be so much more fun if you just let us tease him like this all the time," Kennedy dragged out, and I pushed his arm off of me.

"Be nice to your band mates, Kennedy," I scolded light-heartily. Kennedy grinned, swirling his ice around the empty glass.

"I am!" he protested, and the table let out a unanimous snort.

"Please, Kennedy, you crack me up," Pat teased.

Kennedy pretended to pout, but wasn't very successful at all. A pretty girl wearing a sad excuse for a dress walked by, and his attention was promptly diverted. Figures.

"Kennedy, the girl has a face," I laughed, nudging him in the ribs. He shot up, his cheeks turning bright red under the dim lights.

"Shut the fuck up," he muttered, chewing on a piece of ice. I rolled my eyes to where the others were still laughing.

"I really missed this when I was gone," I sighed contently. Suddenly, all eyes were on me. Shit. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"We missed you too," Pat said hesitantly, giving me a crooked smile. I tried to return it shakily.

"You guys gotta stop looking at me like I'm gonna bolt," I joked, half-serious. They all looked at me apologetically.

"Then you gotta stop bolting," Garrett said bravely, and I stared at him with my mouth open for a few seconds. Everyone seemed to hold their breath, their eyes flickering between the two of us.

Slowly, I felt my head start to nod. "Deal, bass boy."

I stuck my hand out across the booth, and he grabbed it with a grin, shaking it heartily. The air gushed from everyone's lungs and the mood lightened immediately.

"Alright, guys. As fun as this was, I think I'm gonna head out," John announced. My eyes shot to him against my will, and a small frown was on my face.

"Where are you rushing off to?" I asked hesitantly. Did I really wanna know the answer to that? I couldn't make up my mind.

"I was just gonna grab some fast food," he explained with a raised eyebrow. I bowed my head, almost embarrassed. Thankfully, the others seemed oblivious to my sudden discomfort.

"You wanna come?" John's voice was smooth and he wore his familiar smirk I had loved all throughout our friendship.

"Sure. Anyone else?" I asked, trying to keep myself from locking eyes with Garrett. I could feel his worried and disdained gaze burning into the back of my skull.

"I got work to do in the morning. I have to get home," Tim noted, stretching against the red vinyl.

"I should get back too. Can I catch a ride with you?" Pat asked, turning to his brother. Tim nodded with an eye roll.

"I think I'll chill here a little longer. Garrett, bro, wanna be my wing man?" Kennedy joked, and Garret chuckled under his breath.

"Sure, dude. We'll catch up with you guys later."

"Alright. G'night boys," I called, kissing each one of their cheeks. When I hugged Garrett, I could feel his apprehension to let me leave. I didn't know what to say; so, instead, I said nothing, and he did the same.



"So, where to, Johnny?" I asked, pulling my legs under me on the plush seat. John watched me from the corner of his eye, his lips twitching a little bit.

"What is it with you and this Johnny thing lately? That's twice in one day," he pointed out, and I shrugged, turning his CD player on. A Tom Petty song rang out, and it felt like high school again.

"I used to call you that all the time, John," I paused, biting down on my lip. "If you want me to stop-"

"No, Shay, you don't have to stop," he cut me off, and I flinched unintentionally. "Damn, sorry. I was just asking. You haven't called me that in almost two years."

"I know."

"I missed it."

His voice was so soft I barely heard it. I wasn't quite sure whether or not he had wanted me to, so I I remained silent. He took a few turns, and I leaned my forehead against the window, watching the streetlights.

I watched him occasionally from under my eyelashes, and I was never sure whether or not he noticed. Every so often, I would see his grip tightening around the steering wheel, and he'd lick his lips anxiously. Somehow, I found myself biting on my thumb softly. Damn nerves.

John parked suddenly, and my eyes shot around to see where we were. I recognized the place, but it was nowhere near any restaurants. We were a few blocks from John's apartment, and if I remembered correctly, a few blocks the other direction was an I-HOP. I sat up straight, looking at John.

"John, why did you pull over? Is everything okay with the car?"

"Yeah, everything's fine."

"Then why are we-"

"Shay, I just need for you to be quiet for a second and listen to me, okay?" he paused, and I nodded, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. "I know this is stupid and not at all a good idea, and maybe it's just the way the day's been going, but god-"

He stopped, locking eyes with me. Before I had a chance to question his crazy rambling, he leaned over the seat, and his lips enveloped mine. This was the second time in the past three days it had happened, but each time still felt magical and shocking and...perfect.

"John," I breathed out between kisses. "We-should-not-"

The intoxication of his kiss had me struggling for words, and I couldn't remember where I was going with the sentence. Thankfully, John did.

"Yeah," he murmured against my bottom lip. "Bad-idea."

He pulled away, his hand cradling the back of my head gently. His eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't help myself. I reattached my lips to his. I could feel his other hand tracing my spine, and goosebumps went all up and down my body.

"Shay," he whispered, his breath tickling my face. "If you don't wanna-"

"John, just shut up, okay," I mumbled, and he chuckled, kissing my forehead. My lips found their way back to his, feeling neglected.

"Shouldn't we go get something to eat?" John inquired, resting his head on my forehead.

"You know, I'd much rather go somewhere else," I raised my eyebrows with implication, and John finally got it.

He drove back to his building, and parked. His hand held mine the whole way, and the whole way, I could've changed my mind.

But I didn't.

We were barely through his door before our lips found their way back to each other, and our clothes were just a trail to his bedroom. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and I didn't care. I was sick of pretending. I'd wanted this for so damn long; way longer than I'd admitted to even myself. The consequences, well, I wasn't thinking of them.

My cares and cautions were thrown to the wind. For once in my life, I was following my heart and didn't give a fuck.