Mistakes and Regrets

"What the hell?" I screamed, finally just snapping. I lost my sanity, my mind, and any hold I'd had on my fake happiness. She could mess with me all she wanted, but I refused to sit around and let her fuck with John. It didn't matter how mad I was at him, I could not let this happen.

I stormed back through the doorway, now standing mere feet from the two. My hands were shaking as my anger boiled over.

"Oh, do you need a beer or something?" the guy asked sheepishly. I glared at him, and he shut his mouth quickly. Good choice.

"Shayla, I swear, this-"

"Isn't what it looks like? Real original, Rosalie," I scoffed, my arms crossed over my chest. I was doing my best not to punch her in her lying, cheating mouth.

"What's going on?"

Both of our heads snapped to the blond man, his eyes flickering between us. My eyebrows shot up and I couldn't hide my shock. No way. No way in fucking hell.

"He doesn't know? You've reached a new level of low," I hissed.

"This isn't any of your business Shayla! Bryan, I swear-" Rosalie started, but he cut her off.

"Babe, what's going on?" he repeated, with more of an edge this time. The girl who usually couldn't keep her trap shut was suddenly speechless. I never thought I'd see the day.

"Bryan, is it?" I asked, and he nodded. "Your 'babe' is engaged to someone else. That shiny ring on her finger didn't tip you off?"

"You're engaged?" he shouted, pushing away from her. Rosalie hung her head, looking desperately at him.

"Bry, just wait. Let me explain," she pleaded, hopping off the counter as he stormed toward the living room. She stopped at the doorway, looking at me with broken eyes.

"You're gonna tell John, aren't you?" she asked dejectedly, and as I inspected her closer, I saw tears streaming down her face. Not one single part of me felt bad or sorry for her. Karma was a bitch, and for once in my life, I was glad to see it.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Rosalie? John's so amazing to you! He does everything and anything you ask him to, he's head over heels for you, and this is how you repay him? God, I don't like you, but I didn't think you were this cold hearted, or cruel, or just flat out dumb."

"I don't know okay? I messed up," she snapped, running a hand through her hair. Her voice was soft when she turned to me again. "Please, Shayla, I'm begging you not to tell him about this. You're right, John is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't lose him. Not like this. Please, don't take him from me."

"He's my best friend."

"You two haven't talked in a year without fighting! From where I stand, that's pretty fucked up," she judged, and I rolled my eyes, digging my nails into my palm.

Don't hit her. Don't hit her. Don't hit her.

"Yeah, well so is cheating on your fiancé," I retorted.

Something in Rosalie's face darkened and her eyes were suddenly dagger sharp. "I've worked so hard to keep John, and I'll be damned if I let you take it all away from me."

"I didn't ruin this for you. You did that all by yourself," I spat.

"I swear, if you tell him, I'm going to make this life a living hell for you. You're gonna wish you had never stepped foot back in Tempe. You'll never speak to him again, you hear me?"

"Are you threatening me?" I asked in disbelief as her face got closer to mine.

"Damn right I am. And if you know what's good for you, you'll listen."

"Okay, now you listen. You wanna threaten to cut him from my life? You've already done that. Quite frankly, I've got nothing to lose. You on the other hand, stand to lose a lot."

"You can't just turn this around on me! I make the rules here, this is my game," she seethed. I narrowed my eyes and cocked my head a bit.

"You tell him, or I will. Game over, bitch."

I pushed past her and out of the kitchen, her shrieks drowned out as I entered the throngs of dancing people. I should've felt great; I finally had something on her. Instead, my heart felt heavy as I saw John's unsuspecting face across the room.



I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly regretting not bringing a jacket with me. I always ended up on the fucking roof.

The stars were beautiful, and I leaned against the window I'd crawled through just to watch them twinkling in the beautiful fall night. In the house beneath me I could hear the music and the people. From my spot, I could even see a few people lighting up cigarettes on the lawn, talking with friends.

And there I sat, alone. On the roof.

A tap on the window made me jump half a foot, and I nearly slipped off of the damn thing. I had spoken to soon about being alone. My eyes met clover colored ones, and I laughed at the face he was making.

"Mind if I crash your little party up here?" John asked, popping the window open. I shrugged, sliding over so he could join me. He carefully shut the glass behind him, settling beside me on the rough black tiles.

"It's not much of a party," I pointed out, nibbling on my bottom lip.

"No, but I'd rather hang with you than any of those boring people down there," he admitted. "Beside, it's a good thing I showed up, you're turning blue."

Without another word, he pulled his jacket off and slung it around my shoulders, despite my objections.

"You didn't have to do that," I protested, but he ignored me. Instead, he pulled a cancer stick from the breast pocket of his flannel shirt. He offered one to me, which I turned down. I tried to remember where the conversation had been going.

"Boring people? You mean your band, and a bunch of wasted people? I think you should've stayed in school, O'Callaghan," I teased.

"Oh, but you're wrong, Royce. You're one of the most interesting people I know," he shot back, struggling to light up.

"How'd you find me up here, John?" I asked finally, squinting up at the sky instead of his intense gaze.

"I saw you ditching, and so did Kennedy. He looked all worried, and was about to come up here, but I convinced him to let me handle it," he explained, and I groaned.

"Well, thank you."

"For what?"

"You saved me from a lecture. The last time he found me up on a roof-" I stopped in my tracks, and shut my eyes, hoping he didn't notice.

"C'mon, Shay, you can't just leave me hanging like that," he prodded, and I hit my head against the siding.

"Last time he found me on a roof, it was the night I skipped town. Your surprise party," I said shortly.

He didn't say anything to that. We sat in silence for a long time while he finished his cigarette. Neither of us wanted to dig up old arguments focused around that night.

"So, where's Rose?" I asked cautiously.

"I don't really know." He threw the butt on the roof, put it out with his foot, and kicked it over the edge.

I hesitated, looking at his seemingly indifferent expression. But deep in his eyes, I could see something else there. "What's going on with you two?"

"We got into a fight earlier. I...I asked her about your arm." He wouldn't meet my gaze, so I buried my head in my hands.

"What did she tell you?"

"She didn't. Instead she told me about how I shouldn't be hanging out with you because I have her."

"Oh," was all I could manage.

"I told her you were my best friend, and that wasn't going to happen."

He reached over and grabbed my hand, and I looked at him, eyes watering slightly.
"Really?"

"Of course, Shay. Doesn't matter how much I fucked up or how far you run. You're always going to be my best friend."

"Why didn't you tell me you tried looking for me?" I blurted out, and he blinked a few times. "Pat told me, and he really didn't mean to let it slip, it just did. Why didn't you tell me?

"I mean, I yelled at you because I thought you didn't care that I was gone, but you did. You talked to old Miss Douglass, and tried hacking my Facebook? Why did you let me be mad?"

"You deserved to be mad. I should've been there all along, and I wasn't. I was a really shitty friend.

"It didn't matter that you were pissed at me, just that you were back home, and you were safe. That's all that's ever mattered, once I swallowed up my pride."

I was speechless. My eyes were glossy, my jaw was hanging open, and I was staring at John. I couldn't even control it; there was just something about him and this whole thing that captivated my heart. Then again, who was I kidding? The boy had my heart; he'd had for the past six years.

I struggled for words he never heard. A shrill voice cut me off, and both of our attentions snapped to the front lawn below us.

"John, I've been looking everywhere for you," Rosalie screeched, head arched up at us. She looked pale and on edge, and I knew exactly why. He looked at her warily, and I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, I've been here," he snapped.

She looked between us, and I could see the worry in her icy blue eyes. I bit my lip and shook my head inconspicuously. She let out a sigh of relief, and some color returned to her cheeks.

"Do you wanna talk to John, Rose?" I asked casually, and I could see her flinch a bit.

"Yeah. Do you mind, Shay?" she asked, and in the look she gave me was grateful and resentful and afraid at the same time.

"Go talk to her, John. I'll see you later, okay?" I nudged him, and he reluctantly obliged, sliding to the edge of the roof and dropping off. I waited long enough to make sure he landed all right, and then slid through the window to find Kenny.

I just wanted to go home.