A Faint Illusion

Tom arrived promptly two hours upon receiving the text. He fists banged persistently onto the door I refused to answer. Therefore I sat in the small sitting room with my head between my legs trying to block out the noise. 

Could you believe he'd been at this for nearly ten minutes?

But what was there to talk about. The deterioration of our relationship? The fact that he'd up and abandon me? Where was the fucking closure? 

"Pansy open the fuckin' door." he barked out, his hands colliding again with the door. 
Childishly, I just retorted with a "No!" 
This must of been a game. Like the few times when you lock yourself in your room and your parents bang on the door trying to prove a point. 
"I'm going to break the door" he countered the door shaking more as a greater amount of force pressed against it's wooden limits. 
"Fuck." he barked out again. 

The banging stopped. He shuffled around a bit before he pressed his back against the door. 
It was quiet now. The banging scared me. I was surprised the cops haven't showed up from all our noise. 

"Pansy." Tom called out. He was shifting against the door nervously. The keys were placed on the floor beside him. The jingles were not hard to hear in the silence of the flat building. 

"What?" I threatened to reply back. My voice croaked and tears were threatening to fall. 

"I miss you." he mumbled before getting up from the door, the jingling of the keys once more. 
I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. I called out a what again. My heart was beating against my chest, my hands shook. It was that sinking feeling again. 

I stood up from the sofa, slowly and wobbly before regaining balance before carefully walking toward the front door. 
I was pathetic. Unlocking the door and slowly pulling it open, the blue-eyed boy was gone. His back was facing me as he slumped down the corridor. 

"Tom." I whispered out. Barely audible. He didn't hear me and part of me didn't want him to hear me. 
He descended down the stairs reluctantly. 
He gave up. Tom Sykes gave up. 

He never turned to look at my door he kept his head down and his face hidden. 

I followed. 
The more he distance he had created the faster I went after him. 
Before I could process anything, let alone give my body permission to do anything. I was sprinting after his car. 

Step after step. My bare feet hitting the cold cement with a small thump with each step. 
My eyes stung with tears and the cold wind as I tried to keep up with the white car that was nearly out of my vision. 

&&

Out of breath, I stood at the painted red door, a green wreath hung from knocker. The faint glow of lights illuminating the sidewalk. 

My body shook with nerves and from the cool crisp November air.  My ragged breath lingering in the atmosphere. I tapped softly on the door. His white car parked crookedly out front. The pink ice cream cone keychain hanging from the review mirror. My keychain. 

The door swung open as Mr. Sykes chatted loudly in his blackberry. He continued to roll his eyes and continue to reply with no. Of course he stopped mid-sentence. 
"Pansy?" he questioned. My own self slightly surprised by my presence here. 
He allowed me to come in giving me a weak smile before gesturing upstairs. I nodded and smiled weakly back. 

As I took each step up to his room I found myself questioning why I had even come, more or less what the hell I was doing here. It didn't take me much longer before I was in front of his bedroom door. 
The smell of weed burning my nostrils as I didn't even bother to knock. My hand gripped the door knob tightly. It was warm to the touch compared to my pale cold nearly blue hands. 
The door creaked as my hand turned the knob tighter until he was in full view. 

Tom sat shirtless on the black leather sofa. His room rancid with the scent of grass but not a single article of clutter remained on his floor. He didn't even bother to look up as I allowed myself cowardly into his room slowly closing the door behind me. He still never looked up. 

"Thomas" I croaked out tiredly and nervously. 
He finally looked up. My heart sank. 
Tom smiled weakly at me before standing up. His eyes were blood shot and his blue eyes were nearly black. His hand cupped my cheek before he pulled my face to his pressing his lips firmly against mine.