Unwritten Pages

I don't drive. I sit in the passenger seat and occasionally give Desiree worried looks. She looks extremely frustrated. I don't understand why she's taking out her anger on the poor kid, but I don't ask. She looks ready to snap at anyone. She's also muttering things under her breath.

The boy is sitting in the back, looking like a scared animal. I'm pretty sure that Desiree is scaring him. I offer him a smile and he manages to give a nervous smile back. Then he stares out the window and begins to rock back and forth.

In attempt for a small talk, I say, “so you never got around to telling us your name,” I say. He looks up at me briefly. He looks like he can't believe I would even want to talk to him. Especially in a moment like this when I'm almost sure that Desiree is swearing under her breath.

“I-I'm um...” he looked away from me, seeming to forget his name. “I...I'm...” He closes his eyes in concentration. I'm about to laugh at him, but I don't. I manage to keep quiet while he's trying to remember his name.

“My n-name is...” he trails off again. “Oh r-right! A-Alan!”

Does it really take that long with remember what your name is? I think to myself. I don't say this to Alan because I know it'll upset him. He seems like the guys to become easily upset with everything.

“Do you attend the same high school as Winter?” I ask. I never pay attention to the people in my class. That's why I don't really know a lot of people at school. Not that I really care, though.

Alan shook his head. “N-no. I-I went t-to a p-p-private s-school.” He's stuttering so much that it sounds like it's going to be permanent on him. I feel rude to ask about the stutter, but I can't help it.

“Is that normal?” I ask. “You know, stuttering? Do you stutter a lot?”

“O-only when I-I'm n-nervous,” Alan admitted. “I-I'm usually n-not like t-this.” He attempts to give me a smile but fails miserably.

“You don't need to be nervous around us,” I tell Alan. “We're not going to kill you.” I lean forward so only Alan can hear what I say next, “well, unless it's Desiree. She looks like she can kill you right now.”

Alan gives a sharp cry that makes Desiree lose grip of the wheel for a moment. “Geez!” she growls at Alan. “Keep your mouth shut, for God's sake!”

“Hey,” I say to Desiree. I know better than to tell her to calm down. She'll go berserk if I do that. I look for something else to say. “Don't scratch my car,” I finally come up with. Desiree rolls her eyes.

“Then tell that kid not to scream anymore. Has anyone told him now annoying he is?” Apparently not. I don't say anything and Desiree says, “guy in the back—you're annoying,” she says.

“Sorry,” I tell Alan, “she's usually not like this.” I can hear Desiree let out a short unamused laugh at this.

“O-oh,” Alan says, his eyes wide. He's looking at Desiree like he thinks she's insane. And maybe she has gone insane. “I-I'm s-sorry,” he tells us.

“How old are you?” I ask, “are you a high schooler too?” I don't think he's a high schooler. He's too clear-faced. And he sometimes speaks in a squeaky voice. Maybe he's a niner.

Alan nods quickly. “Y-yes,” he says. “I met Winter a while b-back in one of her e-extra classes. Um...a-art, I think. Or something else. We knew each other.”

Huh. He must be the student who had to use markers for his art class. The only person Winter ever mentions in her art class is Aiden. Alan probably wasn't important enough to be mention by name.

“Oh,” I say, “why do you want to see her now...and...uh, not earlier?”

Alan fidgets in his seat. “Ah...” he starts, “I...um... I h-haven't b-been in town f-for a while...” Alan stutters. “I've b-been kind of b-busy. You k-know. I-I mean, I-I haven't been to a-art c-class for a w-while.”

“Oh,” I say. “But why didn't you visit her earlier?” When she was still alive?

Alan looks lost. Then he shrugs and manages to say, “I-I was b-busy.”

Busy? Doing what? I don't push further though, it's none of my business. But really, I feel sort of bad for him because she's...well, gone. He can't see her anymore. He won't be able to hear her talk or—anything.

The drive to the funeral is quick. Mainly because Desiree had been driving so fast. I'm surprised that we hadn't even been pulled over by a cop for speeding. Desiree parks the car and gets out. She slams the car door loudly behind her and for a selfish moment, I'm afraid that she'll destroy my car somehow. I pull the keys out and leave the car after Desiree. There's another car in the cemetery. It looks familiar, but I don't focus on it any further than I already have.

Alan is the last person to come out. He looks very confused. I don't even think that he knows that this is a cemetery. He looks around in daze. “W-what—”

“You wanted to see Winter,” Desiree says, bitterness clear in her voice. “Well here you go.”

Alan still doesn't connect the dots. Or maybe he just doesn't see the gravestones. “I-I don't get i-it.” He shrinks back from Desiree as if he's afraid that she'll strike out at him. I give her a worried look. She actually does look like she wants to strike out at him.

“Okay,” I say quickly before anyone can say anything else. I stand in-between Desiree and Alan to prevent her from attacking him. “Alan...” I say, “we'll take you to where she...is.” Desiree glares angrily at me and I give her a pleading look, telling her not to try and hurt him anymore. Alan is...more of a fragile person. We shouldn't hurt him any further than Winter's death will.

“Fine,” Desiree says, looking away from me. “I won't do anything.” Alan looks relieved at this but Desiree shots him a dirty look before he can relax. He flinches away from her.

“It's alright,” I tell Alan, feeling slightly bad for him. “She's off today.”

“I'm very off today,” Desiree scoffs, looking thoughtful.

I remember where Winter's gravestone is. Her parents had bought an especially large gravestone for her. It must have cost thousands to purchase it. It's the one made out of marble and the letters on her stone are painted with gold.

I see her gravestone just a few metres away. I'm about to head over to it when I suddenly realize that there's someone who sits in front of her gravestone.

It's clearly a male who is a young adult. He's wearing a very plain white shirt and he has his forehead resting against the stone. He seems to be speaking but I can't hear what he says. I can only see his lips moving from here and a few whispers that are lost in the soft summer breezes.

We approach him and Winter's gravestone. Alan's looking more and more confused but I don't stop to explain anything to him. The person sitting in front of her grave doesn't look up at us. I doubt that he even hears us. As we get closer, I realize with a jolt that the person is Drew... Drew Sorauren.

I look sharply over my shoulder at Desiree. She sees him too and she looks slightly pained for him. I realize why—I can hear his words now.

“—it's like...a blank page without you. Not to sound cheesy or anything. You were the cheesy one after all, not me. But... I can't believe you're gone. What will it take to bring you back?” He gives a laugh at this. It's a bitter laugh, not an amused one.

After all I have read in Winter's journal...I'm not sure whether to dislike Drew like I usually do or to feel bad for him.

“I really wish you would come back,” he says. It's almost a whisper, but it's loud enough for all three of us to here. Alan opens his mouth, about to speak. I put a finger to my lips, indicating for him to be quiet. He closes his mouth instantly. I actually want to hear what Drew has to say.

“Remember all those crazy dreams we had?” He gives a soft chuckle at this. “Our first...kiss?” He pauses here. “I'm not the type to go all cheesy...but I'm just...being honestly. Isn't honesty what you always wanted from me? But...I miss you...” he trails off. Then he finally says, “Winter.”

“He looks really sad,” Alan whispers. Desiree and I both ignore him.

“I wish you could...come back to life...and live... Live in a world...with me.” He lets out another bitter laugh. “But that's not possible now, is it? Or maybe I should kill myself too. Then we'll end up together, don't you agree?” He coughs a bit. “...Winterlyn Evaline Lawly,” he whispers.

Drew suddenly looks up when our shadow is cast over him. He looks alarmed. “What the—”

“Just showing a friend around,” I say even though Alan is not my friend.

“Um,” Alan says, “where's Winter? Weren't you just talking about her?” Anger starts on Drew's face as he hears the words from Alan's mouth. Surely he thinks that Alan is making some kind of cruel joke like Desiree had thought.

Drew looks at me and I shrug. Then he looks at Desiree. I think an understanding passes between them that Alan is clueless.

“Where is she?” Alan asks, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. “I wanted to know where she was.”

There's something...odd about Alan's voice. Like...just something wrong. I mean, there's no tone change or anything, but something is missing... I just can't put my finger on it. Desiree doesn't seem to notice this.

“Well...” Drew says, trailing off.

Desiree opens her mouth, clearly wanting to say something hurtful. I give her a warning look, telling her not to say it. “Fine then,” she says, “then you tell him.”

I'm not sure if I really have the guts to tell him. I mean, I've told Arianna before. But Arianna...she's quite strong. Unlike Alan. Alan is like...glass. One wrong movement and he'll be shattered.

“Um...” I begin hesitatingly. “Well, you see...”

“That's Winter?” he asks. He points to Drew and looks at me with wide-eyes. Drew looks exasperated.

“No!” I say, then I soften my tone. “Sorry. No that's not Winter. Thank goodness,” I add. Drew gives me a dirty look and I grimace.

“Then where is she?” Alan asks. “And why are we in the cemetery?” Alan still hasn't connected the dots.

“Well...” I start. “Alan...she's beneath the ground. Right here. This is her gravestone,” I say, hoping that he will finally understand. His eyes widen as he stares at the gravestone.

“She's...dead?”

I nod, finally realizing what in Alan's voice had sounded so...different. He had miraculously lost his stutter.