Unwritten Pages

December 25th

Merry Christmas, journal! Even inanimate objects should be allowed to celebrate!

It was quite normal today. My parents and I stayed home the whole day. We opened presents on the night of Christmas so...

My cousin's gifts for us had already arrived in the box that they sent us. I mainly got clothes. No one sent me any cosmetics. I rarely wear any makeup.

I gave my parents their gifts. They seemed pretty happy with it, so I'm happy that my presents weren't complete fails.

Drew's at his Christmas party right now... I don't really want to go, but I'm slightly curious about what wild things are happening at his party. But there's a part of me that doesn't want to know. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

December 26th

My mom allowed me to leave the house for Boxing Day. I have a whole two weeks after today for break... I think I'm just going to watch TV and go on the computer. And play some instruments once in a while.

I hung out with Arianna and Desiree again today. I didn't really buy anything because I didn't want to spend my money. But Arianna and Desiree came out of the mall today with two big bags.

Anyway, I'm probably not going to write in here for the Winter Break. I have a feeling that my week is going to be pretty boring. I can probably just write about my whole break on...Sunday, January 1st.

I close the journal and put it away in the drawer. I yawn and lie on my bed. I'm tired after today. I don't know how Desiree still has the energy to play with the sparklers. I look out the window. It's quite dark outside.

The door to my room bursts open. “Andrew!” Desiree calls, sounding happy.

I groan. “Can't you just let me sleep?” I mutter, mostly to myself. I roll over so my face is buried in the pillow. I wonder if Desiree's going to throw one of the sparklers on me just so she can get me to sit up.

“Don't you want to set more fireworks?” Desiree asks me a little too innocently like she knows that I'm tired. “It's really fun!”

“No thanks,” I grumble. “Leave me alone.”

“Fine, be a grouch,” Desiree says before leaving. She hadn't sounded upset, so I'm sure she had known that I wouldn't have gotten up to set off more fireworks.

I sigh in relief as the darkness and silence wraps around me, lulling me into sleep. I cross my eyes and let the darkness take over.

* * *

“What do you think?” Desiree asks as she holds out a beaded flower for me to see. “Does it look like a rose? Or some random red blotch?”

I study it for a while. “It's pretty good,” I say. Desiree doesn't want to be dote on. She wants honesty. I pick at the petals. “But it's...a little floppy.”

Desiree sighs. “I know,” she says. “I've been practising this for ages. I never seem to get it right,” she says dejectedly.

“You'll get better,” I say, attempting to encourage her. “Don't just give up on it.”

“Right,” Desiree says, examining her rose closely. “I think I didn't make this tight enough...” It's silent around us while Desiree is examining the flaws of her rose. It's been four days since the fireworks were set loose. I haven't seen any sign of Chris since then... Speaking of my obnoxious neighbour...

“Didn't Chris say he was having a party?” I ask. Desiree looks up abruptly, looking slightly confused before she remembers.

“Yeah,” she says. “Tomorrow after six. I still remember. Should I bring my cousins?”

“Why should we go?” I ask. “We can just ignore his stupid invite and his stupid party.”

“Because,” Desiree argues, “why would you want to spoil the fun? It's a party, Andrew! Lighten up!” Desiree says, trying to sound cheerful.

“Why would I want to spoil the fun? Because it's Chris's party. Isn't that an obvious?” I say. Desiree rolls her eyes.

“Don't be so negative. I don't think I can bring my cousins because of my mom... But...we can bring Ari. I'll call her up right now,” Desiree says, getting up from her chair to find a phone.

“Wait,” I say, “who said we were going?”

“I did,” Desiree says simply, looking at me as if I couldn't understand her.

“Well...” I begin, not wanting to sound too possessive, “but...I... You can't just...go... What if I tell you that you can't go?” I finally finish.

Desiree laughs. “Like that will stop me,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You're not my guardian, so I don't think you can say that I can't go. I'll just go anyways.”

“Alright,” I say, giving in. How can the party hurt, anyways? If Desiree wants to go, I'll go with her...just in case Chris tries something. And Desiree also wants to relax after the whole Winter incident...

I think back to Winter's journal. Maybe I had been wrong when I said that Winter wasn't bullied. But...I doubt that Winter would kill herself over depression from what Liane had told her. Winter's not like that. She won't break down from that. But Liane had seemed vicious in that journal... Maybe Winter had been exaggerating... Liane's horrible, but as Winter had written, she does things indirectly. She wouldn't start a fight. She's actually quite...logical...if you think about it.

Maybe Liane doesn't fit in the 'well-behaved' Asian stereotype, but she's not entirely stupid either. Liane knows what she's doing. She knows what her goals are.

“So,” Desiree says, “I'm calling Ari about the party tomorrow,” she tells me. “You alright with that? Or do we have to sneak in the party or something?”

“I'm fine with that,” I say. “I'm coming too.”

“Wonderful!” Desiree says, actually looking happy about it. “That's great! I'm pretty sure that Ari would want to come. I just have to keep this from my mom if I ever want to set foot outside my house ever again.”

* * *

The moment Desiree had said the word 'party', Arianna was in. In fact, she had just came in the house a few minutes ago.

“Hey Ari,” Desiree says, looking up at her from the top of the book. “You came...fast...” she says. “He said any time after six. I was thinking we'd go at seven...”

I look at the clock on the wall. It's only five right now. It's not even twenty-four hours before the call Desiree had made yesterday.

Arianna looks at the clock, seeming surprised that she had been early. “Oh,” she says, “I thought I was going to be late.” She actually looks slightly relieved.

I shake my head. “There is no late in Chris's party. Why are we even going again? There's going to be drugs...and things your mother won't approve of,” I say, giving Desiree a look. Desiree sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Chill,” she says, “just...relax. It's our time to relax, don't you think? After...Winter...” Her voice seems a bit strained when she says Winter's name.

“So I'll just hang around here for two more hours?” Arianna asks. She gives us a look. “Hopefully, you two won't suck face while I'm here. I don't want to be the third wheel.”

“You're not going to be the third wheel!” Desiree says, her face slightly red. “And we're not going to suck face. Sheesh!”

Feeling mischievous, I add in, “we only suck face at night.” Desiree makes a horrified noise at this—I think it's because she knows that it's true.

Arianna gives me a look of mock surprise. “Don't want to get anyone pregnant!” she advises. I look over at Desiree. Her face is red with embarrassment and she looks horrified us. I shrug and smile at her.

“You guys are terrible,” Desiree says. “How can you be so mean?” It's not really a question that needs an answer, so Arianna and I don't answer it.

“Do you guys have anything to do here?” Arianna asks us, seeming bored already. “I don't want to just sit around and watch you two.”

“We can watch more movies,” Desiree says, her embarrassment seem to be forgotten. “Let's watch Titanic!” I groan when I hear that title.

“What?” Arianna looks at me like I'm insane. “It's a good movie! It's sad too,” she adds.

“Desiree already watched it this week,” I say, shaking my head. “I never understand what is up with girls and this whole romance thing. It almost works like a brain washer, don't you think?”

“You're just being a guy,” Arianna says dismissively. “Guys will never understand the importance of romance in life.”

Desiree nods. “Exactly. Guys are emotionless.”

When Desiree says that, I suddenly think about Winter. A dull pain stabs at my chest before it's almost immediately gone. I almost feel as if Winter's still here with us. Even if I convince myself that she's gone, I don't feel much when I think about her. I don't really feel anything.

Desiree and Arianna don't notice that I'm thinking. They assume I'm just ignoring them and they both head out to watch Titanic. I'm sure that Desiree is going to cry again. I don't know about Arianna, but I have a feeling that she's going to cry too.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair. Are all guys emotionless? That's a pretence that many people seem to believe. It makes me wonder who had even given men that kind of reputation. Surely not me.

I can hear the opening music for Titanic playing outside. I don't find that movie tear-wrenching like Desiree does. I find that the romance is slightly gag-worthy. Though I've never told that to Desiree. She doesn't need to hear that kind of insult about romance. Romance is their life, as they have convinced me.