Unwritten Pages

February, 29th

Hey, Leap Year!

That's all I wanted to say... And...well...I don't want to admit it... But I think...that I'm being stalked.

But why would anyone stalk me? I'm uninteresting. I'm nothing. Why wouldn't they go for Liane? That's right. Why would anyone stalk me... No... I think I should call the police...but I haven't gotten any real evidence. What if I'm just seeing things? The police will never trust me again. It's better if I just deal with things by myself.

March, 1st

Alright. I swear, someone just tried to follow me home again. I swear it was the same person.

I'm scared. I want to call the police...but I think that they won't believe me. I need to snap a picture of this person some time soon.

Yeah, that's what I'll do... And then they'll get arrested for...stalking...and then it'll all be fine again. No, they're not stalking me. They must be following some other person... Right...

March, 3rd

I told Aiden about all this stalking and he's acting a little odd about it. He seems really uncomfortable with all this talk about the...stalking. I bet he was probably followed at one time. I kind of feel bad for him.

I've been looking all around for that...person in black... I haven't found them yet.

March, 5th

I think that Andrew knows that something's wrong with me.

He approached me at lunch today and for one second, I thought he needed help in his new art class. I honestly don't understand why he hates art. And he's a Pisces! Aren't Pisces boys into art? Andrew's completely left-brained, that's what I know.

But he didn't need help in art today. “Are you alright?” he asked me. He looked slightly embarrassed to be asking a question like that. It felt odd to receive that question from him. Obviously I wasn't use to this from him. He put on a one-man show. Me, myself, and I. I never thought he really cared about anything other than his life. He thought the whole world revolved around him.

“Y-yes,” I stuttered, feeling an odd beating in my chest. “Look, Andrew, what are you doing asking questions like this?”

He shrugged. “You were acting really weird.” He gave me a look. “You're not like yourself. You're all quiet and fidgety.” He pointed to the camera I had in my hands. “And since when were you interested in photography?”

I played on his weak spots here. “Oh this?” I asked, holding up the camera. “I've started not long ago. I'm really into photography, if you haven't noticed. You're not really the type to notice,” I lied.

“Well...” Andrew said, “if you ever need any help, just come get me, okay? I still owe you one.”

“You owe me one?” I asked, feeling bewildered. “Since when? And for what?”

“Since ninth grade,” Andrew said absentmindedly. “The whole drug business. Remember what Desiree use to call me?”

“The Psychotic Campbell, I remember,” I said, smiling.

Andrew laughed. “Yeah, something like that,” he said. “Well I gotta go now. See you around.” He waved goodbye at me and left. I felt myself blush at his smile. I didn't know why. It was just so...weird. I've never been like this around Andrew before...until now.

It must be a side effect from...being stalked. I just wished that I had the courage to tell Andrew about someone stalking me. But I had a feeling that he would laugh it off.

But it wouldn't hurt to take chances, would it?

March, 8th

I forgot my camera at home today. And I was...followed. Again. Is this person seeing if I have a camera or not to follow me? He's keeping hidden...

Oh, next week is March Break. I'm keeping it low around my house for a while. We're not going on vacation this year so... I'm not opening any doors. Actually, I think I'm going to Desiree or Arianna's place for the majority of the Break.

March, 10th

There's no art class next week for the break so I'm not going to see Aiden for a while.

I really trust Aiden. I've been flipping back and I realized that I really trust him. But anyways, I told him about the whole camera issue.

“Your...er...stalker doesn't want to be caught,” Aiden told me absentmindedly. “Are you sure someone's still stalking you? You better call the police soon.”

I didn't want to call the police until I had proof. But Aiden was right, I should call soon.

March, 11th

As soon as the morning started, I went over to Desiree's house. I stayed there for a long time. I hoped that the stalker didn't...follow me...or something. I didn't tell Desiree about the stalking...

In fact...I haven't told anyone but Aiden... I don't even know why...

March 19th

The whole March Break, I revolved around all my friend's houses. My mom seemed alright with me running around. If only she knew about the...stalker...

The instant I got back to school, I was interrogated by Ex in class. He was doing such a good job of avoiding me and then he just had to jump back into my life. Wasn't it enough to break up with me already? Honestly, what else did I have that he wanted?

“Winter,” he said. I hated how he said my name so casually. It just made me so furious inside. “I've been trying to contact you all week.”

Huh. Maybe the stalker was Ex after all. Though I seriously doubted it. I wondered why he would ever need to contact me in any way.

“What do you want?” I asked him, exasperation clear in my voice. “We're through and we're not friends.”

“I know,” he said. “I actually...just wanted to say sorry.”

I just stared at him. Here was Ex—one of the most popular boys in school. And he was apologizing. To me. To the girl who was never noticed anywhere. To the girl who never made an impression.

I thought the world was going to end. But I managed to say, “For what?”

“I was an ass,” Ex said, managing to give me a sweet smile. “Look, Liane is a bitch. I'm sorry about her too. She went off at you because she wanted me. I broke up with her over the Break. Can you give me a second chance?”

It took me about ten seconds to realize what Ex was saying and it took me about half a second to make my choice. “No,” I said simply. “We're over. I'm not being bitter or anything, but I want nothing to do with you. Go back to dating Liane. She's not actually that mean,” I lied. Liane was a complete bitch. But I was almost sure that Ex wouldn't give up until he had another girlfriend. I didn't want that to me. Plus, I was sure that Liane would accept him without any second thoughts.

Ex looked confused. I was sure that he thought I would accept him. How wrong. “Sorry,” I said, giving him a smile that I hoped looked sincere. I was still slightly bitter, but I didn't want him anymore. He could do whatever he wanted with his life. He was just an egomaniac. I didn't need him.

That's how I left Ex. He looked like he wanted to stop me but thought better of it. Good. I didn't need all that extra drama. All the drama in the school year had been because of him, anyways.

March, 23rd

It's Friday. Andrew approached me again today. I started to have that weird feeling again and now I knew what it was.

In the beginning of the school year, whenever I was around Ex, I would get these feelings. I fell for Ex...so was I falling for Andrew? All over again? For my best friend?

“Hey,” Andrew said, “I heard you had an official break up with some guy.” Of course, Andrew didn't know who it was.

“We broke up ages ago,” I said. “Months. We broke up on Christmas and you ask now? Almost three months afterwards?”

Andrew shrugged. “Just curious. Did you have a fight this week or what? I've been hearing rumours flying from Desiree and Arianna.”

“No,” I said. “He's just begging to have me back and I said no. He was pretty pathetic.” He was pathetic. I didn't even know how I could have liked him at one point. What had I been thinking when I dated him?

Andrew smiled again. I realized that I loved that smile of his. God! Why was I feeling so...weird? It had been neutral around us for years. But now...I had to get all worked up around him. It was like ninth grade all over again. But had a girlfriend this time. And his girlfriend was one of my friends. I couldn't tear them apart like that. And I doubted that Andrew thought of me as anything more than a friend.

Speaking of Desiree, I am feeling envious of her because she has Andrew. How could I have been so blind back when I was younger? No—how could I not feel anything? And why was I feeling something now? My hormones are completely messed up.

March, 24th

Aiden and Liane had a fight today, which I found entertaining.

Liane came to art class today and she was sniffling and crying. Everyone ignored her, which was not the response she had wanted to get. She was a total drama queen. In the end, she stood up in front of class and singled me out. She told the class how much of a skank I was. She was in the middle of her speech before Aiden stopped her. He started arguing with her and the teacher had to kick Liane out of the class.

He took her outside the hallway first and he told her that if she ever caused drama again, he was going to have to kick her out of class. He was talking really loud so the whole class heard. Liane kept on arguing and he kicked her out of the art class in the end.

When he returned in the classroom without Liane, the whole class cheered. I value this moment. Everyone against Liane? Greatest moment of the year.

March, 26th

Liane didn't even approach me at school. It seemed that she had stopped her attempts to get me back. But maybe she would do something sinuous again, though I highly doubted it.

Liane was a bitch, but she has limits.

March, 29th

Ex caught on to the whole Liane thing today. Apparently, he had gotten back with Liane yesterday and she had spilled the whole sordid truth at art class. I couldn’t say she didn’t deserve it. Ex was pissed at me, but I played it cool. He had even admitted to me the day he tried to get back with me that Liane was a bitch. So if there was anyone to be mad at, it was himself.

I told that to him. He was shocked that I could say such a thing because I usually kept my rude thoughts in my head. I hadn't said bitch out loud, but it was close enough. I was also using his own words against him and I guess that he thought I was too dumb to do anything. Well he was wrong.

March, 31st

Art class was wonderful today. No Liane. Everyone seemed much happier without that little bitch. She knows how to ruin everyone's mood.

April, 1st

It's April Fool's! I didn't do any trick today. I heard that Andrew was planning to cross-dress, but I was wrong. He didn't. He came to school in his usual clothes. Desiree tried to pull a trick on him, but he ended up staring at her blankly.

I swear, that boy doesn't get pranks unless it's him cracking the joke. Well, unless it's a really twisted prank. Playing too much violent video games when you're younger can leave you a bit twisted. Like Andrew.

April, 5th

So... I thought the whole...stalking fiasco was over. I was wrong. Today I saw...the...stalker again...

“Andrew! Something's on fire!” I hear Desiree yell from downstairs. I quickly open the drawer to throw the journal in. There's too much inside and it doesn't fit. I take out a clear plastic bag with something in it and throw it on my bed. Then I put the journal inside. I don't even stop to look what I've thrown on my bed. I can check it later.

“Andrew!” Desiree's frantic voice comes from downstairs. “Hurry!”

I open my door and rush down the stairs to see something on fire on the floor. I know the fire's just started not so long ago because the alarm isn't ringing yet. I'm not sure if it's a regular fire or a chemical produced fire but I don't even know where the fire extinguisher is. I take a water pitcher that's usually on the kitchen table. I open the cap and let the water pour onto the fire. Luckily, it seems to be a natural fire so it goes out when the water touches it. Also, nothing is burnt. Except that black thing on the floor.

“What the hell was that?” I ask, staring something black and burned on the floor. “What was burning?”

“A tissue,” Desiree says, almost sheepishly. “You see, it was kind of fun to burn tissues so I took it and then it touched my hand.” At my worried look, she quickly adds, “but it didn't burn me. I dropped it and I was too mesmerized by the flames to do anything but scream.”

“Desiree,” I say slowly, “you're not a pyromaniac, are you...?”

“No!” she says quickly. “It's just that I've never seen a real fire before! It was really...surprising so I froze up and just...screamed for you.”

“Lovely,” I say dryly, looking at the wet mess on the floor. “Your hand is probably injured. You should go in the upstairs washroom and check the cabinet to see if there's anything for burns. I'll start cleaning this and then you can help...if you want.”

“Alright,” Desiree says. “I'll be back!” She rushes upstairs before I can say anything. I sigh as I survey the mess on the floor. I go to the closet behind the kitchen and start to mop the floor. Luckily, the kitchen floor is made of tiles and not a rug, so it's not that hard.

After a few minutes, I've got it pretty cleaned up. Desiree isn't down yet and I wonder what's she's doing. I put away the mop and that's when Desiree comes downstairs. She has a bag in her hand and she looks like she doesn't know what to do with it.

“What's that?” I ask her as she comes down. I squint at the bag.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she says coldly. Her cold demeanour shocks me. She's never like this unless it was ninth grade all over again. That was how she talked whenever she was faced with...

Drugs.

Now I can the bag more clearly. There's white stuff inside that looks like crystals. They're not really crystals though. Very opposite from it.

“Andrew,” she says, her voice wavering. “I thought you were through with drugs.” She sounds so...scattered. Like she doesn't know what to say. But of course she doesn't. Winter had been the one who had helped me in those dark times. Desiree did nothing more than glare at me. The drugs must remind her of Winter... She must think that it's almost a hopeless cause to try and help me.

“No!” I say, trying to explain to her. It had been Avery who had given me those damn drugs. But...why would I still have it anyways? It's all my fault. I knew I should have thrown those drugs away. Why hadn't I? Because I thought it could help?

“What do you want to say, Andrew?” she asked me softly. “Why are you...doing this?”

“I'm not! I swear on my life, I didn't take any—”

“Then why do you have it?” she asks.

“No, Desiree, you don't understand—” I'm cut off again.

“No,” she says, looking at the bag. “I don't understand. I don't understand why anyone would throw away their life for this!” She holds up the bag so I can see it clearly. I have so many things to tell her; it wasn't mine, I didn't take it. But I feel like I can't talk at the moment and I just watch her.

“Winter...she took you away from these,” Desiree says, “but now that Winter's...gone, you've gone back to them? You're disrespecting her!” She almost yells. “I thought we were good, Andrew,” she says, looking at me with teary eyes. “I'll stand by you. I'll respect every decision you make. But just not this one!” she finally says, looking at me, as if pleading me to tell her this was all a dream.

“No,” I manage to say again. “It's not like that—”

“Andrew, if you can't...if you can't take this. If you chose the drugs... I'm afraid that we're over.” With that, she opens the bag and turns it upside down, letting the contents spill onto the wet floor that just hosted a fire.