Dark Before the Dawn

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The day centred solely around furthering commercial bullshit and the need to express to people what should be expressed all year round. A complete and utter waste of time and money in my opinion.

No, I’m not joking.

Why should couples having to overdo things on this one day? Why does a ridiculous amount of money have to be spent to ‘show’ your love for someone? What happened to heartfelt words and simple displays of affection all year round?!

Excuse my rant. It’s been building up for the past few days, ever since I caught Alex buying fucking decorations. Decorations for Valentine’s Day! What the fuck?! He’s not exactly romantic as it is, so why bother on a day that means nothing?!

Today…today has been a disaster. And it’s all Alex fault. I haven’t held back from telling him that all the way back from our dinner date.

“Are you still mad at me?” Alex asked quietly, shutting the apartment door behind us.

“You made me heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast, Lex! And you filled my notebooks with embarrassing heart and sparkle confetti, and it went everywhere in class! And instead of taking me out to a decent restaurant, you tricked me into going to the cheesiest fucking place in the entire town!” I grumbled.

“I was just trying to do something nice for us,” Alex muttered.

“You want to do something nice for me? Try doing something genuine, instead of all this crap,” I replied sharply.

“You really don’t like Valentine’s Day, do you?” Alex asked wearily.

“Have the past 3 years taught you nothing?” I retorted.

Alex’s face fell a little, making me sigh. I really don’t like all this bullshit celebrating, but I really don’t want to be mad at Alex. It’s not like he’s done anything particularly wrong, he just hasn’t done anything right.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I just…I wish you’d say that you love me all through the year, instead of waiting to overload it today,” I said softly.

“I do say it normally,” Alex frowned.

I sent him an exasperated look, to which Alex sighed.

“Alright, so I don’t say it as much as I should – but why can’t you accept that I want to do something nice with you today? It’s like you don’t even care any more,” Alex said, hurt showing in his words.

I winced slightly. Yeah, the past couple of weeks have been slightly tense between Alex and I, and not entirely because of him this time. Yeah, his moods have been terrible, going from clingy to bitchy to asshole to depressed over and over again, just like they used to, but I’ve been spending a lot of time on campus with John, Pat and Jared – as much as possible to avoid going back to the apartment – so it’s not exactly like I’ve been helping. I just don’t want to be around when he blows, y’know? I can’t deal with that any more.

“Of course I care. I just wish you’d…never mind,” I mumbled.

“Wish I’d what?” Alex asked.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you regardless of this stupid day. I’m just tired I guess. Um, I’m gonna go to bed early,” I told him.

“But I bought a movie for us to watch, Zack!” Alex said indignantly.

“Don’t make things worse,” I murmured.

Alex opened and closed his mouth a few times before gritting his teeth and looking away from me. Perfect. With a sigh I walked down the small corridor into our bedroom, freezing slightly at the sight of a box on the bed. Edging closer to it, I saw the tag saying ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, Zack. I love you with all my heart, never forget that. Alex xx’.

Fuck.

He bought me a gift and I’ve just bitched him out about how much I hate celebrating. Great. Well done Zack. With another sigh I opened the box, seeing a small bag on top of a photo frame. Tears sprung to my eyes as I looked at the photo inside – one taken from this Christmas holiday that neither of us had seemed to notice, too caught up in our own world as our foreheads rested together, small smiles on both our lips. We look happy. We look really fucking happy.

On the top of the frame was a small phrase engraved. The course of true love never did run smooth. No, it doesn’t. I choked a soft sob and placed the frame on my bedside table, before picking up the small bag. What I saw inside was the last thing I was expecting. But I bit my bottom lip, staring down at the red bundle. I could at least pay Alex back for the gift, right?

3 hours later, Alex walked quietly into our bedroom. I acted like I was asleep, the duvet only up to my waist, not moving as he got undressed too. But as Alex lifted the covers to get underneath too, his breath hitched in his throat.

“Z-Zack? You’re wearing the thong I bought?” Alex gasped.

Yeah, he bought me a red lace thong. With a wince I rolled onto my back, displaying the silver ribbon bow I’d stuck over my crotch, making Alex laugh softly.

“Can I unwrap my gift?” Alex asked hopefully, his eyes glinting.

“Not that there’s much unwrapping to do…but sure,” I said softly.

Alex grinned and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips, before hooking his fingertips over the scanty material.

“Mm, happy fucking Valentine’s Day to me,” Alex purred, his lips travelling down my body.

I might as well enjoy this dreaded day a little bit, right?