Dark Before the Dawn

All week Alex has been stressed. And not his normal stressed either. The kind of stressed that leaves him sitting in silence, staring at the wall, clenching and unclenching his fists. This kind of tension means only one thing for Alex. His Intermittent Explosive Disorder is building. He’ll have an outburst any day now, and I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. He’s only had one since he stopped taking the pills, and I wasn’t there for most of it.

If I can find some way to get him to take the pills, it’ll be easier on both of us. Hell, if I have to crush them up and put them in his food or in his drink, I don’t care. I’ll do it. I’m not losing him, not this time.

Today I got back from classes early, and went straight to the bathroom. Alex and I have separate cabinets, so I never go into his. But I have no choice. I already have a dark bruise spreading across my back from where he shoved me into the kitchen counter this morning for not pouring him a glass of orange juice. I’m not taking any chances.

And holy fuck.

All four shelves were filled to the brim with full medication bottles, none of them opened. This…This had been going on for a way over a year. Alex hadn’t been taking his medication for even longer than I thought. Fuck. How hadn’t I noticed? Maybe if I had taken action earlier, then Alex wouldn’t be in such a mess…

“What the fuck are you doing?”

I quickly slammed the cabinet closed at the sound of Alex’s hiss. Fuck. He’s home. Fuck. His eyes are dark, darker than usual, and his teeth are clenched, his shoulders, arms and torso all incredibly tense. Oh God.

“I-I’m just…”

I trailed off, my hands shaking. It’s happening. It’s fucking happening right now. An outburst. And Alex is mad at me, which is only going to make it all worse. Fuck.

“You’re just what? Snooping through my stuff? Through my medication?” Alex growled.

“I-It’s not like you use the stuff,” I protested weakly.

“What right do you have to go through my things?!” Alex yelled.

“I’m your boyfriend, Lex! I want what’s best for you! I just want to help you!”

“I DON’T NEED HELP! ESPECIALLY NOT FROM YOU!” Alex roared.

I wasn’t ready for his fist slamming into my face, so I stumbled backwards, crying out as I felt pain shoot across my cheekbone. Ow! Fuck! I…This hurts more than usual. Fuck, I think he broke something.

“Alex, please, calm down,” I begged, tears welling in my eyes.

“Why should I? Why are you so fucking pathetic that you can’t fight back, huh? Didn’t your daddy ever teach you how to fight?” Alex spat.

I’d never fight back – I could never hit him.

“My dad taught me that violence was wrong,” I said shakily.

If I can distract him long enough, I might be able to shove him out and lock the door.

“Is that what I am, huh? I’m a violent asshole, right? Is that why you’re going through my stuff, trying to find a miracle cure for me?” Alex said angrily.

“You don’t need a cure, Lex, you just need to accept that you can't control your disorder!” I said desperately.

That earned me another fist to the face, this time square on my nose. I screamed as I heard and felt something crunch, gasping in pain as warm liquid gushed down my chin. Oh my God. He’s going to seriously hurt me. I have to get him out!

“Alex, please. Don’t do this. I love you!” I pleaded.

Alex growled and clenched both fists, so I took the chance and shoved him hard. But not hard enough – only enough to make him stumble backwards a few steps, not even out of the bathroom – and I got a murderous glare from him That’s it. I’m dead.

The next punch to my face sent me sprawling to the floor, whacking my head hard on the sink on my way down, my head spinning as pain throbbed through my skull. I yelped and curled into a ball, trying to protect myself as best as I could. Hopefully he’ll get bored and give up. Hopefully.

Tears poured down my face and whimpers sobbed from my lips as his boots repeatedly came into contact with my ribs, over and over and over again. I only looked up at him once, long enough to see that his eyes were completely unfocussed and his face was taken over by rage. This isn’t Alex. This is the IED. This isn’t Alex.

The last thing I heard as I fell into darkness was the sound of the front door slamming open.

*

[Kennedy]

I walked out of the elevator and over to the front door of my apartment with a weary sigh. Today has been shitty. Really shitty. All I want is to chill out with Garrett with pizza and a movie. A nice easy night.

Then I heard yelling from upstairs and groaned. Great. Alex is being an asshole again. A louder yell sounded this time, making me frown. What the fuck is going on up there? Zack doesn’t deserve this shit.

The moment I heard someone crying out, I froze. That…that doesn’t sound good. What’s going on? Is Alex…

A scream.

Oh my God. Alex has finally exploded on Zack. Holy fucking shit! I quickly opened my front door and threw my bag to the ground, grabbing a small black device from the side. I’ve been meaning to give this to Zack but I’ll just have to use it now.

“GARRETT! CALL AN AMBULANCE!” I yelled.

I didn’t have time to respond to Garrett’s confused response, before I ran upstairs. Oh my God. If Zack gets badly hurt before I can get up there, I’ll never forgive myself. Our friends will never forgive me. John will never forgive me. I’ve put up with years of just listening to Alex yelling at Zack and the bruises on Zack’s body, but now we’re actually friends? There’s no way I’m staying out of this. Friends don’t do that.

As I reached Zack and Alex’s floor, I heard a thud and a whimper. Shit! I found their door unlocked and quickly slammed it open, running through the apartment to the sound of whimpers.

And what I saw when I reached the bathroom made me sick. Zack’s body was bleeding and crumpled on the floor, and Alex was repeatedly kicking him over and over, unrelenting as if he was in some sort of trance. What the fuck?!

“Hey asshole!” I yelled.

Alex turned around immediately, and I paled slightly at the furious look on his face, but without hesitating I pressed the button on top of the device I’d grabbed before running up here. Within seconds two wires shot out and attached to Alex’s chest, zapping him with enough electricity to knock him out.

Yes, a cheap-ass taser. It’s better than nothing.

With a scowl I stepped over Alex’s body and knelt down next to Zack, my hands shaking. He’s unconscious. Alex was beating him and he’s unconscious. Holy fuck. I should’ve gotten him out of his months ago. Maybe if I had he wouldn’t be so broken.

“Hey man, the ambulance is…holy shit!”

I didn’t need to turn to Garrett to know that his jaw had dropped.

“Pack a bag of clothes for Zack. I don’t give a shit what he says anymore – I can’t let him stay here any longer. Not after this. Not after what I saw,” I said softly.

“Of course,” Garrett nodded, “I’ll go wait for the ambulance downstairs after,”

I smiled weakly and grabbed a towel from the side, pressing it gently to stem the bleeding from Zack’s nose. There are no signs of a struggle. He hasn’t even defended himself. Why didn’t he try to make Alex stop? What’s going on between them that makes Alex have so much control over Zack?

Whatever it is, it’s not going to happen any longer. Zack is our friend and this has gone on for long enough.