Dark Before the Dawn

A month passed into the new semester, making it October. I love October for photographs. There’s always so many beautiful colours, the russets, browns and golds, so much nature just waiting to be discovered. I might even take a small detour to the local park on the way home from college to take some photos for class. Yeah, that’ll be nice.

I got out of bed and grabbed my clothes to take into the bathroom with me. I woke up a little later than usual today so I don’t really have much time to get ready. Alex was still asleep in our bed because it’s his day off, so I kissed his cheek before leaving. It’s not like he’ll notice, is it?

Once my shower was done, and I’d dried myself and my hair, and then got dressed, I headed into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I can’t work on an empty stomach. Setting on a bowl of bran flakes with the last of the milk, and a glass of orange juice, I ate quickly. Shit, I really don’t have all that much time left. It’s a good thing I brushed my teeth before I got in the shower, because I definitely don’t have time to brush them again now. I’ll just have to chew a load of gum before I get to class. Not that I’ll be talking to anyone in class, but still. Gum is better than breakfast breath.

Just as I was finishing my breakfast, Alex walked into the room, fully-dressed. Uh, what?

“Oh, hi Lex. I didn’t think you’d be up yet,” I said softly.

“I got a call while you were in the shower to come in and cover some guitar lessons today and I’m not fucking happy about it,” Alex muttered.

“Why not?” I asked.

The glare Alex sent let me know that was a stupid question.

“Because it’s my fucking day off, Zack, why else do you think?” Alex scowled.

“I-I’m sorry, I just…at least you won’t be bored today,” I shrugged.

“No, I’ll be stuck in a room with a bunch of ungrateful fucking kids instead,” Alex retorted.

“Can’t you lighten up, Alex? They’re only kids,” I said softly.

“Lighten up? Lighten up?!” Alex hissed.

I sighed. Here we go again. I really didn’t need this first thing in the morning.

“Excuse me Zack, but I really don’t think you should be running your mouth when you just bum around at college taking pretty little pictures when I’m the one that’s paying for everything! Go fuck yourself with your lighten up until you actually get a job, huh?” Alex ranted.

I bit my lip as tears pricked my eyes, lowering my head so he wouldn’t see me cry. Why does he have to be such an ass about what I love? He used to support me, used to say that my work was amazing – now I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t say something mean on a daily basis.

“S-Sorry,” I whimpered.

I heard Alex sigh in frustration, and then heard him walking over to me. I flinched slightly as he put his hands on my shoulders, but looked up at him anyway. His face was full of guilt, confusing me slightly.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset. I know you love photography,” Alex said.

“Yeah, I do,” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t be mad at me all day,” Alex said softly.

I just nodded. I don’t know if Alex is being genuine with this ‘apology’ or not, so I’m not going to push it. Even if he did just insult one of the only things I love in life.

“I’ve got to get to college. I’ll see you later, okay?” I said quietly.

“Okay. I’ll be home earlier so I’ll help with dinner,” Alex told me.

I couldn’t help a small smile. It’s been a while since he’s done that. Hopefully he’ll stick to his word this time.

“I’d like that,” I said.

Alex smiled a little and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, before breaking away. I smiled a little wider and grabbed my rucksack, walking to the front door.

“Zack? Did you use all the fucking milk again?!” Alex yelled after me.

I cringed and ran out the front door, shutting it quickly behind me. Shit. I completely forgot. Great, now his bad mood will probably stay and that’ll mean I’ll have no help with dinner. Again. Fucking perfect, why do I always have to mess up?

I decided to take the stairs today, because I didn’t feel like being claustrophobically trapped with my thoughts, and it seemed like my idea was a good one.

Until I crashed right into my neighbour Kennedy. Kennedy is very good-looking, with light brown messy hair, cheekbones to die for and lovely hazel eyes. I think he’s 22, graduated college last year, and he lives with his best friend Garrett, also 22, in the apartment below. Garrett’s got slightly longer hair, an almost reddish brown colour, and has a really nice smile. I don’t know where they work, or even much about them at all, other than they’re really nice to me and that Garrett really doesn’t like Alex. Something about Alex being a complete dick to him one morning – something I can understand.

Distractions aside, I crashed into Kennedy.

“Sorry, shit, I’m sorry,” I immediately apologised.

“It’s okay, there’s no blood, dude,” Kennedy mused.

I forced a smile, nodding. Well at least I haven’t pissed someone else off.

“Hey, are you alright?” Kennedy frowned.

I shrugged. “I’m fine. Just running late,”

“We heard yelling last night. And a crash,” Kennedy said bluntly.

I sighed. I hated it when our neighbours could hear Alex getting angry. It didn’t help that Kennedy and Garrett always glared at Alex for a few days after, only making Alex more mad.

“It was nothing. Alex just had a bad day. I’m fine,” I said simply.

Kennedy didn’t understand that I was telling the truth. Alex yelling and throwing something? Just an average bad day.

“Alright, well, if you ever need anything, even just somewhere to escape for an hour or two, then you can come to us. If you ever need anything, just come downstairs to Garrett and I,” Kennedy said firmly.

“You’re making Alex sound like a monster,” I mused.

“We’ve seen the bruises,” Kennedy said simply.

I swallowed heavily and forced a smile on my face. Great. Just great.

“Like I said, I’m late. I’ll see you later,” I said weakly.

“Alright, see you. The offer still stands,” Kennedy replied seriously.

I just nodded and carried on walking down the stairs. I really hope Alex never finds out about Kennedy’s offer. I’ll never hear the end of it if he does. I really hope I never have to take Kennedy up on that offer. I don’t know what I’ll do if it comes to that, I really don’t.

Surely Alex and I haven’t reached this level?