Dark Before the Dawn

“I really want to kiss you. Can I?” he whispered.

My breath hitched in my throat, my stomach flipping. He wants to…kiss me?

“Yes,” I breathed.

What? Why did I say that without thinking?!

John grinned and pressed my body fully against the stairs with his own, before pressing his lips firmly to mine. Wow, he wastes no time. It wasn’t until one of his hands slid into my hair and the other grasped at my hip, burning into my skin, that I realised I was kissing eagerly back, my own hands clutching at his t-shirt. John’s tongue swiped my bottom lip, begging entrance that he could’ve just taken, and without hesitating I parted my lips a little more, whimpering softly as his tongue shyly toyed with mine. My whole body feels like it’s on fire, the flames shooting through my veins and making my skin burn with desire. Desire for John.

I moaned softly as his hips rolled against mine, deliberately or not, my dick starting to harden regardless. I felt drunk with need now the alcohol is gone, as his hands roamed possessively over my body, discovering what he’d never been able to discover before, heating my skin through my clothing. His clothing. I don’t care that this is going too fast. I don’t care that Alex and I broke up only a month ago. I don’t care about anything right now that isn’t John’s kiss, his touch or his heat.

With that in mind I pulled him even tighter against me, kissing him with reckless abandon. I’m glad the music is still playing loudly. I dread to think of the noises that are spilling from my mouth to his. All I know is that I don’t want this to stop. I want it. I need it. How can I feel this from a simple kiss? Maybe it’s not so simple. Maybe it’s because this is John.

Then he broke the kiss.

“You’re thinking too hard,” he mumbled, pressing kisses into my jawline, my cheekbones, anything he could reach.

“I…”

A few drunken people stumbled into us, and I scowled. I want this. I want John. But not here.

“Is there anywhere we can go?” I asked without being able to stop myself.

“You mean…?”

“Yeah, somewhere private,”

All of a sudden John’s eyes seemed to clear, and he swallowed heavily.

“Is this honestly what you want? I know you’re not over Alex,” John said softly, one of his hands cupping my cheek.

“I know I’m not over A…him…but I want you,” I replied.

“Zack…” John warned.

“I want you. That’s all that matters right now,” I repeated.

John bit his bottom lip but nodded, before taking my hand, leading me up the stairs we were leaning against. I didn’t care that everyone who noticed us cheered and wolf-whistled. I didn’t care because all I could focus on was John. I remember thinking about John just before I met Pat’s mom, how I asked myself if I would be alright without John there because he’s been my rock through all my shit with Alex, and what I’m about to do right now suddenly makes perfect sense. John really has been there for me. He truly cares about what I think and about what happens to me and, adding on the fact that he is absolutely gorgeous, who better could I sleep with? Who better could I be with? Woah, let’s not go that far. Just a step at a time.

“You’re thinking too hard again,” John mused, opening a door.

I blushed slightly; he just smiled to himself and led me into that room. Straight away he backed me against the door, kissing me urgently, moulding our bodies together so every inch possible was lined up. I couldn’t help but moan as I felt him start to harden – I’m still half-hard from downstairs – rolling my hips against his. This earned me a moan in reply, John’s hands immediately going to the bottom of my – his – t-shirt.

“Let’s not think too hard about what happens tonight, yeah? We can figure this out in the morning,” John panted as he pulled the t-shirt over my head.

“Mm. Yeah. Sounds good. Let’s do that,” I mumbled between kisses, pushing his own t-shirt up.

In a tumble of groping hands, tripping over clothes and sloppy kisses, I fell onto the guest room bed, John falling on top of me. I couldn’t help but laugh when he laughed, still smiling as he started kissing me again, but my smile traded for an open-mouthed moan as he rolled our hips together again, our erections grinding together through our underwear, the only layer between us. John’s eyes filled with lust as he broke the kiss and looked at me, his tongue wetting his bottom lip before he slowly crawled down my body.

“There are so many things I want to do to you,” John groaned, his lips trailing wet kisses over my abs.

“Like what?” I breathed, inhaling sharply as he nipped just under my belly button.

John just grinned and mouthed at the tent in my boxers, making me moan again. Th-That’s certainly a good start. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he hooked his fingers into my boxers, biting his bottom lip as he slowly pulled them off me, exposing me completely to him. I could feel a betraying blush on my cheeks as his eyes hungrily roved over my dick, wanting nothing more than his lips around me.

And that’s exactly what I got.

As his lips sucked lightly on my tip, I cried out, hands fisting at the sheets underneath us. This…This shouldn’t feel so good. It’s not like I’ve been celibate for years – but maybe it’s because this is John. Maybe it’s because he’s the one doing this, making me feel so good.

“Fuck, you have no idea how beautiful you look,” John moaned, releasing me from his mouth.

I whined at the loss of contact, making John chuckle as he wriggled out of his own underwear. Lust churned in my gut all over again as he crawled back up my body, aligning every inch of skin up with mine, circling his hips lightly and earning a groan from me.

“Please, John, I need…”

I trailed off, swallowing heavily. John just smiled.

“I’ve got a condom in my jeans’ pocket, hang on,” John murmured, pecking my lips.

My hand shot out and grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“I’m clean,” I blurted.

What am I doing?!

“M-Me too. Are you sure you want…”

“Yeah,” I interrupted, “I want to feel you,”

As John moaned at my words, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. I wouldn’t have said that if I truly didn’t want it, right? Doing this with John is a good thing, right?

“You really need to work on this over-thinking thing,” John teased, nudging my legs apart.

I just blushed, even more so when John stuck three fingers in his mouth and sucked, liberally coating them in spit.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay? If anything is. We can stop. I won’t be mad, I swear,”

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine,” I replied, shaking my head with a smile.

For some reason, I knew I really would be fine.

I guess I’ll just have to find out in the morning.