Dark Before the Dawn

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ZAAAACK,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

I blushed heavily as John, Garrett, Kennedy, Pat and Jared all cheered, clinking our beer bottles together. Yes, it is indeed my 21st birthday, and my friends have taken me out to celebrate. Despite the fact that I haven’t been out drinking since I…uh…saw Alex a week ago, I agreed to come out tonight because I needed a break. All the pathetic moping I was doing really isn’t helping my studying or sorting out my head, so I’m glad John suggested that we all go out tonight.

Maybe I can get my mind off Alex once and for all.

“Aaaaaaand a shot for the birthday boy!” Jared cheered, passing me a small glass of clear liquid.

“I can’t! I already had too many before we came out tonight,” I giggled.

“You can never have too much tequila,” Kennedy grinned.

Just then a guy threw up next to us. Eww.

“I think that proves you can have too much,” Garrett snickered.

“Why don’t we grab a booth, huh?” John laughed.

I smiled to myself as John slung his arm around my shoulders. I know I like snuggling when I’m drunk, but there’s just something about John that makes it so much more fun to snuggle. Maybe it’s because he’s taller than me. Huh.

“You, Sir, need another beer,” John smiled, helping me sit down in the chair.

“If you insist,” I sighed dramatically.

John grinned and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before walking to the bar with Jared, making Pat, Kennedy and Garrett all catcall teasingly. Again, I blushed. What? I’m allowed to enjoy myself, right?

*

“Z-Zack? Zack, what are you doing here?”

I heard the slur before I saw him. Alex. Spinning around on my heel, I saw Alex slumped against the wall, eyes half-open, clothes crumpled (is that a pizza stain?) and hair ruffled. What the hell happened to him?! This isn’t the Alex I know!

“Alex? What the fuck?!” I gasped.

“Are you going to answer my question or stand there looking stupid?” Alex retorted.

I swallowed heavily, but stepped towards him anyway. Fuck, I can smell the alcohol on his breath from here. Ouch. What has happened to him?

“I-It’s my birthday, Lex. I’m out celebrating,” I replied softly.

“With John?” Alex muttered.

“Does it matter?” I sighed.

“Whatever. I don’t need you anyway,” Alex spat.

He started to stumble away, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me. No. He doesn’t get to treat me like this anymore.

“Hey, you’re the one that came up to me just now. And you’re the one that broke up with me for good,” I said angrily.

“Yeah, I know, alright? I do a lot of stupid things that I’m not proud of,” Alex snarled.

W-What does he mean by that? Does he mean…he regrets breaking up with me?!

“What stupid things, Lex?” I breathed, clutching at his arm.

Alex’s eyes went wide, and he shook his head.

“Don’t even go there, Zack. We’re not getting back together,” Alex said firmly.

Just like that, my heart broke all over again. Asshole. How can he be so blunt?! I let go of his arm, stepping backwards slightly to control the tears that sprung up in my eyes.

“Why do you hate me?” I whispered.

“I don’t hate you. I wish I did, but I can’t. All I want is to start my life over, not to be here constantly reminded of you. You have everything perfect, you know that? All I have is crumbling memories of how badly I treated you,” Alex said quietly.

“It doesn’t have to be like this. We can solve everything,” I said desperately.

Alex laughed shortly, bitterly.

“Don’t fool yourself, Zack. We’re not right for each other – get that in your thick head,” Alex sneered.

I choked a whimper, feeling like I’d been punched in the face. I-It’s my birthday! How can he say something like that?!

Alex’s face softened slightly at the hurt on my face, before he clammed up again and walked away. It took me two seconds to turn around and head straight for the front door. It took less than that when I got outside to start crying. How can he hurt me so much? How can he still affect me so, even when we’re not together? How can he…

“Zack?”

John.

“What are you doing out here? Why are you…are you crying?!” John spluttered, hand on my shoulder as he looked at my face.

“Alex is here. He said some really mean things,” I choked.

John’s face clouded over with anger, and he pulled me against his chest in a hug.

“Fucking Alex. I’m going to kill him, I swear,” John growled.

“Please, don’t. I shouldn’t have spoken to him. I should’ve just walked away,” I whimpered, shaking my head.

John sighed, running his hand through my hair gently.

“Do you want to go out somewhere else tonight? A different bar?” he asked softly.

I just nodded. If Alex is halfway to drunk and staying here, I don’t want to be anywhere near him. Tonight is not about getting myself hurt – it’s about getting over him.

John smiled slightly.

“Okay, I’ll tell the others. Relax, yeah? Tonight is about you, no-one else,” John said gently.

I nodded, wiping my cheeks dry. John pecked a kiss to my lips before heading back inside; I just leant against the wall. This is not how I expected tonight to go. Alex here? Saying what he said? Looking and acting like he did? Something isn’t right. I don’t feel good about what happened here. Something is wrong.

I really hope I don’t get proved right.