Dark Before the Dawn

“So, um, you know it’s Halloween tomorrow right?” I said hesitantly.

“Uh…yeah?” Alex frowned.

“Well...Kennedy and Garrett from downstairs invited us to a party and…”

“No,” Alex interrupted.

I swallowed heavily. We’d just had the most amazing sex we’d had in a while, where I’d even come twice, and already his mood has snapped? Just fucking great.

“But I wanted to go,” I murmured.

“Then go, I don’t care. You know that invite wasn’t for me anyway,” Alex shrugged.

I don’t care. Oh. I was starting to think he did care again.

“I don’t want to go without you,” I said softly.

“At some point in your life you’re going to have to learn to do things without me, Zack,” Alex said harshly.

Tears sprung to my eyes at his mean words but I just nodded, rolling over so my back was facing him. It was clear that the discussion was over. I just…I really did think that was getting back to the old Alex, y’know? I guess I was wrong.

“I’m not in work until midday so try not to wake me up when you get up,” Alex murmured.

“Okay,” I whispered, still not rolling over to face him.

I heard Alex huff in annoyance, and I squeaked when he pulled me roughly against his bare body, wrapping his arms firmly around my waist. Huh. We haven’t spooned in a while. A long while.

“Goodnight,” he said quietly, kissing the back of my neck.

I didn’t reply.

*

“So…no Alex then?”

I smiled weakly at Kennedy and Garrett, and shook my head. No, Alex hadn’t changed his mind. All he did was tell me that my jeans were too tight around my ass, pulled them off me and gave me a blowjob, made my change my jeans before practically kicking me out of the flat. I preferred the first jeans but I’m not complaining about the blowjob. Alex has been oddly affectionate lately. I mean, the old Alex was always like this, but it’s only recently that our sex life is getting back to how it used to be.

Constant.

“No, Alex isn’t feeling well so he decided to stay in,” I lied.

“Mm, it must be hard to sit on his ass playing guitar all day before coming home to fuck you senseless,” Garrett commented dryly.

I blushed heavily. My bad.

“Gary! You can’t say shit like that!” Kennedy hissed.

“I can when it’s true,” Garrett shrugged.

I liked watching their friendship. They were just like brothers and everything I’ve heard in passing has always been so amusing.

“Ignore him. We’ve going to catch a cab over to the party and then probably one back too, if we don’t get so wasted that we pass out,” Kennedy explained.

“That sounds like fun,” I nodded.

I’m not going to lie, passing out is a possibility – I haven’t partied since right at the beginning of freshman year, and even then it was only two pathetic parties.

“Let’s get going then. Halvo’s house isn’t too far from here,” Garrett said cheerfully.

“Halvo?” I frowned.

Odd name.

“Eric Halvorsen. We’ve been friends with him since we were, like, really young,” Kennedy told me.

I just nodded. I hope I’m not intruding on a night out with their best friends or something.

True to Garrett’s word, it only took us 10 minutes in the taxi cab to get to the mysterious Halvo’s house, and in that time I learnt that Halvo had graduated college last year like Garrett and Kennedy, but that some of their college friends from my year would be there too. I just stayed silent. I shouldn’t have left Alex. I should’ve spent Halloween with him. Is it too late to turn around and drive back to the apartment?

“Guys, you made it!”

I guess it is too late.

“Halvo! This is Zack, from the flat above ours,” Kennedy grinned.

I looked up and smiled nervously at a boy with light brown hair and big eyes. He just grinned back.

“The more the merrier. Come on in!” Halvo said cheerfully.

“Told you it would be fine,” Garrett murmured, pushing me in with a hand on the small of my back.

Okay, not so much of a party. More like…a small gathering. Fuck, I’d intruded on a friends gathering. What the fuck am I doing here?!

“Zack?”

I turned around at the familiar voice, my eyes widening. Holy shit.

“Pat?!” I said, surprised.

“You know each other?” Kennedy said, confused.

“Pat’s on my Photography degree at college,” I nodded.

“I’m the only person Zack talks to actually,” Pat added, smiling widely.

What the fuck is he doing here?! Such a fucking small world. Pat really is the only person I talk to. There are some really pretentious assholes in our classes, and I knew as soon as I saw Pat with his long hair and quiet nature that I wouldn’t be irritated by him – and he’s ended up being the only person I talk to. What a fucking small world.

“Who would’ve thought that out of the three guys we know at CCA, out of everyone at CCA, you would know our neighbour?” Garrett mused.

“Zack’s your neighbour?” Pat gasped.

What’s so shocking about that?

“Uh, yeah. He’s part of the gay couple that live upstairs,” Kennedy said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“The nymphos?” Pat said, shocked.

Holy shit. I blushed so deeply that I thought my face was on fire. Are we really that loud?!

“Sorry, Zack. Pat came round twice last week and, uh, you and Alex were rather busy it seemed,” Kennedy apologised with a weak smile.

“Just shoot me now,” I grumbled.

Seriously. This could not get any more embarrassing. But they just laughed, shaking their heads.

“It’s not like we don’t know what sex is, Zack,” Garrett teased.

“It doesn’t make it any better that you heard it. Probably multiple times,” I mumbled.

Was it multiple times? Both Kennedy and Garrett nodded. Oh great. It was multiple times.

“Come on, you look like you need a drink,” Kennedy laughed.

“Fuck yeah I could,” I groaned.

Pat lead the way to the kitchen, Garrett next to him while Kennedy pulled me to the side.

“I’m sorry about getting you embarrassed,” Kennedy apologised quietly.

“I’m sorry for you guys hearing our fucking,” I replied.

Kennedy laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.

“It’s better to know that these bruises are from sex rather than from…well…y’know…arguments,” Kennedy shrugged.

Fantastic. Just what I wanted to hear.

“John Ohh!” Garrett suddenly yelled/moaned.

“What the fuck?” I whispered to Kennedy.

“Our friend John must be in the kitchen,” Kennedy laughed, motioning me to follow him.

So I did.

“Why John Ohh though?” I frowned.

“Because, despite him not actually sleeping around a lot, every single person claims to have had the best sex of their life with him. John’s sexually satisfied every boy and girl he’s ever been with, to the highest degree. He’s got a gift, man,” Kennedy grinned.

I didn’t have a chance to question more, because we walked into the kitchen. Kennedy went to hug the guy that Garrett was talking to, but I just froze. No. No. No way could it be him. The same light brown messy hair. The same green eyes. The same wide smile. The same super tall skinny build. The same god-like face.

Holy shit. It’s John from the park. The John.

“Zack, Zack, come in man!” Garrett encouraged, passing me a beer.

I barely registered it. John cannot be here. Not when I’ve been trying so hard to forget his face! Then John’s eyes landed on me, and he froze too – before he grinned.

“No fucking way,” John breathed.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Garrett asked, confused.

“Remember I said I walked into a guy taking photos in the park?” John prompted.

“Wait, Zack’s the cute guy you met at the park? Our upstairs neighbour is the cute guy you wouldn’t shut up about?” Kennedy said incredulously.

“Upstairs neighbour? Zack’s your neighbour with the asshole boyfriend?” John frowned, ignoring Kennedy’s question.

John said I was cute? No, don’t go down that path.

“You said Alex was an asshole?” I frowned to my neighbours.

“What? He is. You can’t say that you don’t agree, at least sometimes,” Garrett said seriously.

I just swallowed heavily and looked away. Now is not the time to be thinking of Alex’s flaws, not when John’s right next to me.

“Don’t be a dick, Gary,” Pat scolded.

Garrett rolled his eyes but nodded. I smiled weakly, but it was barely a smile. Great. The one cute guy that pays me any attention is suddenly back in my life and knows that Alex can be an asshole sometimes. Just fucking perfect.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” John blurted.

Before I had a chance to reply, he pulled me over to a corner of the room, away from Pat, Garrett and Kennedy.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” John said happily.

Is he…is he really that happy to see me?

“I can’t believe it’s you either,” I blushed, “I never would’ve thought you’d be friends with Garrett and Kennedy,”

“Mm, I would never have thought that you would be part of the couple living above them that always argues,” John replied softly.

I pressed my lips together. I don’t want to talk about Alex.

“We don’t always argue,” I muttered.

“Every time I’ve been over, I’ve heard yelling. And Kennedy and Garrett have told me about their neighbour with the bruises. Is that you?” John asked worriedly.

Fuck. Just…fuck. How could they…fuck.

“I didn’t come to this party without my boyfriend to talk about my boyfriend,” I said quietly, looking away from him.

John lifted my chin with two fingers, making me look at him again. His green eyes showed only concern and warmth.

“If you’re looking for a distraction, I can help,” John said.

I raised an eyebrow. Huh. Then John realised what he’d said and blushed deeply, his eyes going wide.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that we can talk and drink to keep your mind off of him. I swear I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” John protested desperately.

I fought to hide my laugh. Bless him.

“It’s okay, I believe you. And I’ll take you up on your non-sexual distraction offer, if it’s not too much of a hassle,” I smiled.

“Nothing’s a hassle if it's for you,” John said softly, and seriously.

I should’ve walked away then. I should’ve walked away and never looked back and never talked to John O’Callaghan again. But I didn’t. That was my first mistake.

“Zack! Come and meet my roommate Jared! He’s at CCA too!” Pat said suddenly, popping up beside us.

“Sure thing,” I nodded, following him.

I glanced over my shoulder one last time as Pat lead me out of the kitchen, only to see John staring after me. He smiled when he caught my eyes, winking once just before I lost sight of him, making me blush slightly.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?