The Mess I Made

Have you ever been so out of control that you could barely see straight? I have. It's probably a lot more times than I would like to admit. You could say that I "stumbled" into quite a few problems my senior year. Those problems include alchohol and lots of it. That's why I'm all alone now. Not only have my friends abandoned me but my family as well. Not like there was much left of it anyway.

My family's always been a bit disfunctional. My dad came and went as he pleased and my mom was always off working two different jobs so we could keep the house. The only person who was always there for me was my sister Nicole, or Nikki as we liked to call her but of course I ruined that relationship also. I didn't just ruin that relationship though. I ruined her life...well ended it I suppose. Before you go off and judge me. You might as well hear the full story on what happened that Halloween night two years ago.

-x-

By the time that Nikki and I had gotten to the party it was in full swing. There was loud music, plenty of booze, and Halloween costumes. I tried to get as far away from her as possible since we weren't getting along lately especially after she ratted me out to her mom about my small liquor collection that I had in my mini fridge in my room. She was always the golden child. No matter what I did I could never please my mom. So eventually I just gave up completely.

"Meet me back here in like two hours Skyelynn!" She said while I was still in ear shot. I rolled my eyes and continued making my way through all of the people that surrounded me. I looked around hoping to see the one person I came to see, Zach Porter.

Zach Porter is my best friend and boyfriend. We've only been together for four months but it seems like so much longer. Pretty cliche right? It's the only way I can describe our relationship. We're completely comfortable around eachother and we can tell eachother anything. Well, we use to anyway. Lately he's been on my ass all the time. He wont shut up about my drinking. Doesn't he know it's just for fun? It's not like anything bad is going to happen.

I went over to the nearest keg and filled my plastic red cub with beer. I brought it to my lips and took a swig.

"Drinking already?" I turned around and saw Zach standing next to me. His hair was dark brown and wavy. His eyes were a brilliant shade of blue. He looked adorable in his costume as a knight. We decided that we would match our costumes. I was a princess and he was my knight in shining armor. I'm just a walking cliche aren't I?

"I had to loosen up a bit!" I threw my arms around him and kissed him on the cheek.

"You know I don't like when you drink Skye."

"Don't be such a baby! It's one little drink." Zach sighed. I knew that there was going to be more to this conversation later. Once Zach had his mind set on something he never gave up. "Where's Cameron and Michael?"

"Around. I thought we should spend some time together." I smiled and chugged the rest of my beer.

"We should. Right after I get another beer." I walked right back over to the keg and poured myself some more.

I could feel Zach's eyes on me the entire time I was pouring myself another beer. I knew he was going to be annoyed with me but he knew exactly what he was getting himself into when he first entered this relationship. He can't change who I am.

I could feel someone gently tapping me on my shoulder. I bit my lip and turned around expecting to see Zach but instead I saw Cameron who was dressed in a jedi night costume. He ran his fingers through his short brown hair and smiled.

"Hi."

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to give me a hug? Come on Cameron we've known eachother since we were in Elementary school! I didn't realize I still had cooties." Cameron laughed nervously and gave me a hug. Cameron had a sort of innocence about him. He was often shy at parties and at school but when it was just Zach, Michael, Nikki, Ariana, and I he became a completely different person. He was quirky and funny. He's probably the nicest guy that I've ever known.

Zach came walking up just then, "Hey Cam." Cameron nodded and took a step away from me. Zach was convinced that Cameron had some sort of crush on me but I think he's crazy. Cameron and I have always been friends. He was the first one I met out of everyone. We sometimes hang out just the two of us at the beach but we haven't been in a few months which I guess is my fault. "Ready to get up there?" Zach nodded to the stage that was a little over to the left of us.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I could see Cameron digging his nails into his hand. He always did that when he was nervous.

"You guys will be fine! If anyone tries to throw anything at you I'll return the favor and throw something at them." I smirked and looked around, "Just not the booze. I don't want that to go to waste."

"You're crazy." said Zach.

"Crazy beautiful." I winked, "Kidding. I've seen that movie one too many times and I'm nothing like Kirsten Dunst." I gulped down the rest of my beer and threw my cup to the ground.

Michael came running up just then with Nikki. They were holding hands and smiling. Those two were almost never seen apart. It was cute at first but honestly it was starting to annoy me.

"Come on guys! We are on in five!" He gave Nikki a kiss on the cheek and went over to the stage to get behind the drums.

"Wish us luck!" Zach said.

"Good luck or should I say break a leg? Wait, don't break a leg. Just-"

"I get the point Skye." Zach gently kissed me on the lips, "Love you!" Cameron and Zach went running off behind Michael.

I barely looked at Nikki and went back over to the keg.

"You know you shouldn't be drinking after what happened last time." she said.

"I'm not even a little buzzed. Chill out mom." I gulped another drink down and closed my eyes. Everything was starting to spin so I opened my eyes wide to see if it would stop but instead everything started becoming blurry. I grabbed a hold of the nearest chair around me to steady my balance. I saw Nikki look over at me with a frown on her face, "I just got dizzy for a sec. It's nothing." I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't convinced but she kept her mouth shut.

The music started then. I recognized the song imediately as Hey Princess. I hollered the loudest and started dancing like a crazy person. Zach smiled and started singing.

"Hey Princess in a white dress. Chuck Taylors got me obsessed."

I looked down at my costume and smiled. The song had me down to a T. Here I was in a fluffy white dress, sparkling crown, and of course Chuck Taylors. I saw Nikki begin to walk away but I continued dancing. She isn't my problem anyway.

After the song I went wandering around which probably wasn't the best idea but I was growing a bit antsy. I needed another drink. I needed to get away from all of the noise. I turned to my right and saw my sister Nikki standing next to me.

Her eyes were red and swollen crying. When did that happen? She was just fine a minute ago.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I slurred slightly. She shook her head and tightly closed her eyes.

"I need to go home. I can't be here anymore."

"Tell me what happened first."

"There's no point you wouldn't even remember it!" She yelled in my face. I could feel my anger bubbling up inside of me. "I'll be in the car."

"Want me to say goodbye to Michael?" She didn't even reply. She just kept on walking to the car. "Whatever."

I made my way back through the swarm of people that were dancing around the stage. I saw the next band go up. I looked around for the Michael and Zach but only found Cameron. I walked over to him and tripped over my own feet.

"Holy!" I tried to catch myself and nearly fell to the floor. Cameron helped me gain my balance.

"Skye, I need to tell you something."

"Not now Cam. I need to find Zach. Have you seen him?" I tried jumping up and looking over his shoulder since he was about a head taller than me.

"It's important."

"It can wait. I need to talk to Zach."

"Can you just stop thinking about Zach for one second? It's important." I stopped and squinted at him.

"Shoot." I crossed my arms. "It better be important."

Cameron sighed, "Well the thing is..."

"ZACH! HEY ZACH OVER HERE!" I couldn't even think straight anymore. I wasn't even paying any attention to Cameron and when I caught a small glipse of him he looked dissapointed. He tried to shake it off but it was written all over his face.

"What's all the fuss?" asked Zach.

"I'm going home. Nikki's being a little baby and making me go home. She's such a downer. I found her all red and crying." I rolled my eyes and took a few steps towards Zach but I stumbled a bit on my feet so Cameron and Zach tried to help me stand up straight.

"You are not driving home like this."

"Hell yeah I am. Nikki can't drive. Besides I'm not even drunk! I only had like what four drinks? That's pretty good for me."

"No you can't! I'll take you home." Zach grabbed a hold of my hand and I yanked it away from him.

"Get away from me!" I screamed. A couple of people turned to look at us but Zach brushed it off.

"I'm just trying to help-"

"Don't! I don't need you. I don't need any of you!" I stomped away and went over to the car. I got into the car and snatched my keys out of Nikki's hand. "Get in the passengers seat. I'm driving." She didn't protest and climbed over the seat. I looked back over at the party and saw Zach and Cameron staring at me not saying a word to one another.

I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving home. I kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my throbbing head. I was going to have a killer hangover in the morning. I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them again I saw a truck coming straight towards us. I tried my best to swerve away but it was too late. The last thing I saw was a blinding light.

-x-

I opened my eyes and saw a plain white room. I tried to move my arm but an IV was in it. I panicked and looked at the rest of my body. I could see tubes coming out of my nose and I could feel some on my chest. I started moving around to get loose but it wouldn't work. I tried closing my eyes. I was hoping this was all a dream. It had to be. I don't remember how I got here. I have no idea what's happening.

A nurse walked in and out, "She's awake. You can come in Mr. and Mrs. Highland." My mom and dad came shuffling in and rushed to my bed side.

"I'm so glad you're okay. We were so worried." Mom was sobbing and Dad was standing there stone cold.

"Where's Nikki?" I whispered. "Where is she?" My mom shook her head and tried to cover her face.

"She's gone, Skyelynn. We lost her."

"What? I don't understand. How did this happen?"

"You don't remember?"

"If I did I wouldn't be asking!" I snapped, "Please just tell me what happened. Did anyone else uh..." Mom and Dad both shook their heads no. "I can't believe this. How could she be gone? How am I here? Why am I here?" I began crying and turned my head away from my parents and silently cried.

Mom whispered, "Maybe, we shoudln't tell her what happened now. She's too fragile right now. I don't want to lose her too." Her voice broke at the last few words.

"She needs to know what she has done to this family Karen." I closed my eyes shut.

What did I do? I couldn't have done anything to my sister. I loved her. I would have never hurt her. Sure, we don't always get along but...oh my god. The image of Karen's blood shot eyes came to mind. I started shaking my head. No. Please let this be a nightmare. Please let me just wake up.

Oh god. What have I done?