The Mess I Made

When I was shoved into the storage room my first reaction was to kick and scream. I was just as bad as that kid you see in the grocery store throwing a fit because their mom didn't buy them a box of fucking cookies. To say the least I made a complete ass out of myself. I mean come on, I'm twenty one years old. I'm not one of those bratty toddlers(but I'm sure my mom and a few other people would quickly disagree).

After I realized how much of a fool I looked like I ended up sitting on the ground. Shortly after I sat down Zach was also being shoved in. Needless to say, I was not amused, at first anyway.

Then I began to think about the possibilities. Since Zach couldn't run away he would be forced to hear what I had to say. I smirked at the thought which ended up making Zach even more pissed off. Does that boy know any other emotion besides being pissed off all of the fucking time?

"What the fuck are you smiling at?"

"Not you."

"Liar."

"I never lie."

"You're lying again."

"Shut up."

This went back and forth for several minutes until Zach took a seat on the cold tile floor and let out a long sigh. He turned his back away from me so he wouldn't have to see me. I rolled my eyes and leaned on my hands trying to think of a way to pick up the conversation.

Nothing came to mind at first so I began whistling. At first I started to whistle to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and then moved on to what the kids in the movie, "The Breakfast Club" were whistling to when the principal walked in.

Zach covered his ears in annoyance.

"How mature of you."

"I can't hear you."

I got up from where I was sitting and sat directly in front of him, "Hi."

He turned the other way and uncovered his ears. I sighed and didn't move.

"You're so annoying."

"So are you."

"Then why were you ever with me if I'm so annoying?"

Zach turned around and looked at me. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it. It was like watching a fish in a fishbowl. He shrugged, "I have no idea."

"Liar."

"We are not doing that again."

"Doing what again?" I batted my eyelashes.

This time he rolled his eyes but to my surprise he didn't turn away from me. "You know what."

I decided not to press on that issue any further, "We should at least talk while we're in here."

"We are talking."

"You know what I mean."

He groaned, "Haven't we talked about that enough?"

"Obviously not." I made a face, "We've been locked in here for a reason haven't we?"

"Fine, talk."

"You're actually letting me talk?"

"Not if you keep acting like a smartass."

"Okay." I sighed. I didn't know where to begin. "I'm sorry for everything Zach. I know that I've said a lot since I've been back but I don't think I'll ever be able to say it enough. It'll never come close to how sorry I actually feel for the way that I treated you while we were together. I shouldn't have let it get that bad-"

"But you did."

"Obviously, I thought you were going to let me talk?" I asked and then continued, "I let drinking take complete control of my life. I changed for the worst. I was hard to be around because most of the time I was wasted. One minute I was falling over people and the next I was throwing myself at guys which is something I would've never done if I was just sober."

Zach's tone of voice changed. It sounded vulnerable."You cheated on me."

"I know." I whispered, "It only happened once and I've regretted it every day since."

"If you regretted it why didn't you tell me as soon as it happened? You covered it up for weeks. I didn't even hear about it from you. I heard about it from Katherine."

"Please don't mention that bitch in front of me."

"She never did anything to hurt me like you did Skye."

I raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt that."

"She's been nothing but supportive."

I cried, "Supportive of what? Anybody could see that she doesn't give a damn about you. Did you not see her during soundcheck? She was bored out of her mind!"

"She's heard those same songs over and over again. I would be bored too."

"No you wouldn't. You would be acting like it was your first time seeing her do what she loves. I would do that. I did that even when I was drinking! That bitch is sober, as far as I know anyway. She doesn't have any excuse to act the way that she does."

"Drinking isn't an excuse for the way that you were acting."

"I know. I know. That's why I stopped. I didn't just stop for me. I stopped for us."

"What us? There is no us."

"There would be if you just let it. I love you. I'm in love with you. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Until I know you mean it. I never know when you're telling the truth."

I could feel the blood begin to boil, "I have never once lied to you about how much I love you. I may have lied about other things but it was to protect you. It was to protect us."

"The only person you care about is yourself."

"Obviously not you idiot. I just said I love you which means that I care about you. Hello, love and care go hand in hand."

"You sure don't act like it."

I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling, "Oh my god Zach."

"What?"

"You're driving me crazy."

"If I'm driving you crazy then why don't you just leave me the hell alone?"

"Do we seriously have to go over that again?" For a second the bickering stopped. In a much calmer voice I said, "Look, I don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with you. I want to be more to you than just some pain in the ass that you're constantly trying to get rid of."

Zach's voice became a bit softer, "You wouldn't be you if you weren't a pain in the ass."

"Gee, thanks."

He looked at everywhere except for at me, "I hope you know that I knew you weren't drinking last night when you were at the bar with Steven."

"Could've fooled me."

"I drank those two shots for a reason."

"What reason would that be?"

"I did it for you. I didn't want you to be tempted by it and ruin all of the progress that you've made so far."

My ears perked up, "Are you finally admitting that I have changed?"

"Don't hold your breath."
"I never do when it comes to you." I rolled my eyes.

Silence fell over the room once again. This seemed to be happening a lot lately. I really know how to make a conversation stop don't I?

"Why did Michael punch Steven?"

"Didn't you hear the conversation?"

Zach shook his head, "All I heard was Nikki's name and then I saw Michael punch him."

I took a deep breath, "Do you remember that Halloween party?"

"How could I not? You were wasted that night"

I waved my hand, "That's old news. I was always wasted."

A scowl began to form on Zach's face, "Which is the reason why we are the way we are right now."

"Obviously." I paused and then continued, "That night Steven spiked Nikki's drink which left her completely out of it. He took advantage of her-

"You mean he rap-"

"Yeah."

"Poor Nikki."

I could feel my eyes start to water. I tried hard not to blink. "I know. She didn't deserve it. Nobody does." Zach awkwardly got up from where he was sitting and sat directly beside me. He put his hand gently on my shoulder obviously not sure of what he should do since we were just arguing a few seconds before.

I could feel a s small tear escape from my eye. I could see Zach scooting over just a bit more and putting his arm around me.

"It's okay. Just let it out." We just sat there in silence, neither of us wanting to speak and ruin what progress we may have made just in the past few seconds.

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.