The Mess I Made

Comforting someone can be seen as such a simple gesture but it wasn't to me. It was progress, a step in the right direction if you will. Comforting someone can either be natural or completely awkward depending on who you are and who they are.

I remember seeing a girl crying on the bathroom floor when I was thirteen. I didn't know what to do. I remember walking right past her with out a word because I was afraid of doing the wrong thing. The only wrong thing that you can do is to ignore someone who is obviously hurting. Just let them not that they aren't alone.

That's why I ended up sitting on the cool tiled floor. and rested my hand upon her shoulder. I didn't really know her that well but everyone deserves to know that someone is going to be there for them.

When Zach put his arm around me I couldn't think straight. It was weird because only a few minutes ago we were at each others throats and now he's comforting me. Part of me is happy but the other part of me is waiting for Zach to pull his arm away and get back to the way that we have been treating one another.

I could feel his arm moving on my shoulder. I looked up at his face trying to read what he was thinking but he wouldn't even look at me. "Don't let go of me, please." I whispered.

He hesitated, "I'm not."

I tried to search my brain for the words that I wanted to stay, "Zach?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He sighed, "I don't know why I'm doing this."

"Neither do I but who cares? It's just nice to know that you still care."

"I didn't say-"

"You didn't have to you goof. I'm psychic. I know what you're going to do before even you do."

Zach let out a small laugh, "I doubt it but okay."

We sat there like that for what seemed like hours. He didn't once pull his arm away like I thought he was going to. For a minute it was like how things were before the drinking. We use to spend nights like this at his house watching some lame movie he picked out or when he would sing to me songs by Bruce Springsteen.

I started to hum to the tune "Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen.

"Please don't sing."

I started belting out the words, "She'll let you in her house if come knockin late at night." Every word I sang was completely out of tune. I sounded worse than I normally did just to annoy him.

"Stop."

"You know you love my singing." I continued singing the first verse while Zach cringed.

He started singing even louder than me when it came to the next verse. My mouth dropped and I tried my best to over power his voice but failed miserably. I eventually gave up and let Zach sing the rest of the song.

When he was finished I gently took his arm off of my shoulders and turned to face him, "You know I missed you. I missed our stupid fights about nothing. I miss the way that you use to sing to me when no one else was around. I miss everything. I wish I didn't screw everything up."

"I know." He waited a second before continuing, "I don't know why I've been so difficult lately. I remember trying to get you to talk to me after Nikki died and you would just ignore me. I realize now that you were just trying to figure things out by yourself. You needed to be alone. Now that you're back it's me that's been ignoring you. Which really just doesn't make any sense..."

"Not really." I admitted.

"I don't know any way to explain why I've been being such an ass. I just know that I've been such a dick to you."

"It's not like I was any better."

"True."

"You're not suppose to agree with me!"

"I just did."

I smacked my hand to my forehead, "Ariana and Cameron are right. We really are five year olds."

"Speaking of those two," Zach rolled his eyes, "What the hell is going on between them?"

"Whatever do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"I know you know. You're terrible at hiding your emotions."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Fine. Don't tell anyone that I told you but Ariana likes Cam. I don't know for how long but she does."

"I know. I just wanted to be sure my suspicions were right."

"Is that why you were making noises with me every time Ariana looked over at Cam with out him knowing? I thought you were doing it to annoy me."

He shrugged, "It was more to annoy you than anything."

"Oh gee thanks."

"You're the one who's usually being annoying anyway."

"That's a load of bull!"

"You've been trying to get me to talk to you for ages. You bring up the same subject about a dozen times-"

"You're the one who wouldn't listen to me!"

"I was listening." He pointed out, "I just wasn't giving you the answer that you wanted."

"Whatever." I folded my arms and pouted.

"Whenever you pout you remind me of when we were still in elementary school."

"According to Cameron and Ariana we still are."

He didn't disagree with that, "Don't you remember show and tell when everyone brought their dogs-"

"You didn't. You brought your damn harmonica that you couldn't play worth a crap."

"Maybe not back then but I can now."

"Whatever. What about show and tell?"

"You were pouting because everyone else had a dog but you didn't."

"I was not!"

"Don't lie. You're a bad liar."

"You really like to insult me don't you?"

"When did I insult you?"

"You said I'm a bad liar and you called me annoying."

"They're both true." He paused, "Can you let me finish?"

"Fine whatever."

"So instead of a dog you decided to bring your turtle. When everyone knows that turtles don't even do anything."

My mouth dropped, "Says you."

"Says a lot of people."

"He was the fastest turtle ever. Even our teacher said so."

"Just to boost your already inflated ego."

"Shut up."

"No-" The door knob started turning. Neither of us bothered to get up. We both looked at each other and waited.

Cameron and Ariana stood in the door way looking at us, "How are you two still breathing?"

"We thought you would have killed each other by now." Zach got up from the ground and held out a hand for me to get up. I took it and stood up.

"At the rate that we were going about an hour ago we probably would have."

"So, does that mean you guys are okay?"

I looked over at Zach to see his reaction. He just shrugeed, "We're just going to take things one step at a time. Who knows where we will stand tomorrow. All I know is what's happening right now and right now we're okay."

I grinned. Zach and I might be okay. We might not be back together or anything but there's hope for us. I'm not giving up just yet.