The Mess I Made

I am fully aware of how rude it is to invite yourself somewhere but it's not like they were just going to leave me behind. They were going to ask me to come with them eventually so it was like I was saving them some time. Even if they never got around to ask me I still would have found some other way to sneak on to their tour bus whether they liked it or not.

It's weird thinking that I'll be spending the next few weeks on a tour bus because I still remember when we had to rent that big white van and small trailer or to small party gigs and school dances. Even before we rented the van we use to have to take two or three separate cars just to get all of the equipment to fit in the damn thing.

I just can't wrap my head around everything. They're going on a full length tour which means twenty two dates across the country. When did everything change? God, I know I've already seen them play a few shows but all of those have been in California so it wasn't much of a difference to me. It's just weird how far they've come in just a few years.

I wish I was there through everything. I wish I got to see them sign to a record label or when they were in the recording studio. I can't change the fact that I wasn't there. The only thing I can change is being there for all of them right now.

-x-

All of the boys went home to pack up their belongings for the tour. Of course they all waited untilt the last minute to do everything. I was prepared for the first time ever but that's only because I never bothered unpacking my bags after rehab because I was afraid I was going to be back there.

I would say that it's time to unpack my bags but I'm going on another adventure. It's weird...I didn't think that I would be able to get this far. I didn't think I would be ready to put down the bottle. I was afraid that temptation would always be around the corner but for the most part I've seemed to avoid it. The real test will be how I do on the road where I'll be alone a lot of the time since the boys have a lot of work to do. I think I can do it.

Ariana and I first went over to my apartment so I could collect my suitcase and other stuff that could be lying around. I knew it wouldn't take long so Ariana stayed in the car. I didn't really want her to see my apartment anyway. It's kind of pathetic really.

I threw whatever wasn't in the suitcase into a smaller bag. I quickly grabbed my suitcase and went out the door. I was ready to get away from California so I wouldn't have to be faced with my past every single day.

I got into the driver side of the car and slammed the door shut. Ariana and I remained quiet for most of the ride except for a few remarks here and there. Neither of us wanted to talk and I knew exactly why. The last time that I went to her house was when I was packing up my bags because she kicked me out. At the time I was pissed but now that I look back on it I realize that it was probably the best thing for me.

We pulled into Ariana's house. Ariana's house was quite large. The majority of the house was a dark shade of green with white detailing around the windows and garage. It looked like a normal house where a big family lived but I knew better. I knew that Ariana's parents were never around and by the looks of it. They still weren't. There wasn't a car insight. I could see the look of sadness cross through Ariana's eyes but she quickly dismissed it and went on.

We got inside the house and everything was exactly the same. The pictures on the wall were of Ariana when she was much younger, a time when both of her parents were around. There was not single picture of Ariana laying around once she hit high school because that's when her parents started going out more which left Ariana home alone a lot of the time.

She set her purse on the couch and I did the same. I followed her back to her room where she already had a suitcase pulled out on her bed. I took a seat on the floor waiting for Ariana to speak up and say something. When she didn't I knew I had to.

"Not much has changed..."

"That's what happens when no one's ever around. I'm barely hear anymore. I'm usually out with the boys or anything that will keep me away from here. I don't like being in an empty house."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"A couple of days ago but it's been even longer since we actually sat down and had a conversation. It's whatever though, it doesn't matter."

"I know I wasn't a very good friend to you Ari but I'm here now."

"No, you really weren't." I looked down at the ground. I could hear her rummaging through her drawers. "It's okay. I know that everybody makes mistakes."

"Everybody has those days."

"Oh please don't start singing Hannah Montana."

"I wont just sing it. I'll dance to it to." I got up from the floor and started singing obnoxiously. When I started to dance Ariana threw a huge pillow from her bed at me.

"Stop." she said laughing, "You may not be a good singer but you're an even worse dancer."

"I take offence to that!"

"I remember after the Snow Ball where you and Aaron were dancing and he came up to us while you were off talking to Zach he was practically limping because of the amount of times that you stepped on his feet."

"I did no such thing. I'm a great dancer."

"Says who?"

"Says me. Zach wasn't exactly complaining while we were dancing."

Ariana rolled her eyes, "That's because he was so hopelessly in love with you that he didn't care. You had that boy wrapped around your finger before you guys were even together."

The room grew quiet for a moment while Ariana began jamming clothes from her closet into her small suitcase. "Ari, do you think Zach and I will ever be back to the way things use to be?"

She shrugged, "Maybe. It would probably be easier if Katherine's out of the picture anyway."

I threw myself on to her bed and groaned, "When did that even happen anyway?"

"I think..." Ariana bit her bottom lip, thinking. "I think it started when you were taken to the hospital at that party."

"You mean the party where the bitch left me in the bathroom to pass out? She just keeps getting worse and worse."

"That whole family is full on nut jobs. I've had my fair share of Katherine and Steven to last a life time."

"Don't even bring up Steven." I glared, "What happened after I left anyway?"

"Well, Katherine just tried to comfort Zach a bit. He was already a bit pissed off at you since you blew him off again. For the most part Zach kept to himself but Katherine wouldn't have that. She kept trying to make him feel better but he wouldn't have it."

"Then when did those start going out?"

"Katherine left him alone for a while...until Zach started gaining more fans and played more shows. She just kept showing up and weaseling her way to Zach. One day it worked. I couldn't tell you when but it's been a while. I don't know how they've lasted this long, honestly. They fight like cats and dogs."

"Hopefully they'll be done soon. I don't think I can take her shit much longer."

"You and me both." Ariana packed up the last bit of her clothes. Her suitcase was practically pouring out so she had to sit on it just so she could zip it up. "We should probably get going..."

She wheeled her suitcase out of her room and into the living room. When we reached the door I turned to her, "I don't blame you for kicking me out. I said some things that I wish that I could take back. I was a total bitch to you and you were the only friend I had left. I ruined it...but in a way you kicking me out helped me get better. It was the push I needed. I hit rock bottom after that which sent me to rehab the first time which may not have worked but it got me there. So thanks."

Ariana raised her eyebrow, "Are you seriously thanking me for kicking you out?"

I shrugged, "Kind of."

"Well then you're welcome." She smiled and laughed. She nudged me, "Come on, we really do have to go."

-x-

We pulled up to Zach's house where we all agreed to meet once we were finished packing. I could see Cameron's car already parked on the side but there was no sign of Michael.

"Where's Michael?"

"You're seriously asking?" she shook her head, "He takes forever to get his shit together and knowing him he probably went to go talk to that girl at Starbucks one more time before he left."

I smiled and rolled my eyes, "Her name's Cassidy. I guess that's Michael for you. He's always trying to impress some girl."

Ariana squinted, "You don't know do you?"

"Know what?"

"This is the first girl that Michael's really talked to in over three years. I mean sure, he's talked to fans but never somebody he was actually interested in."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I thought you knew."

"I had no idea."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he brought her along on tour. I think it would be good for him. He deserves to be happy."

"So do you Ariana."

Ariana threw her head back and groaned, "Please tell me we are not having this conversation again."

"We'll have it until you tell him." We could hear Zach's door open. We both turned to look and saw Cameron coming towards us. I smirked, "Now's your chance."

I walked away and said a quick hi to Cameron. When his back was turned I stuck my tounge out. Ariana shot me a look.

"You're a pain in the ass you know that Skye?" She shouted.

"So I've been told!" I reached the front of the door and before I had a chance to knock Zach opened the door. "Oh, hi."

He gave me a small smile, "Hi, I didn't know you were coming."

"I kind of invited myself."

"You would."

"I know I would. That's why I'm here."

Zach shook his head and laughed. I looked behind him to see if Katherine was somewhere behind him. "If you're looking for Katherine she's not here."

"Not that I'm complaining...but where is she?"

"She's not coming."

"I thought you two were attached at the hip." I tried to search his face for some kind of reaction but he barely showed any emotion, "I should probably get a pot of hot coffee ready then. Just to be sure. She could be watching us right now."

"You don't have to-"

"Oh yes I do. I need to be prepared."

"No, you don't. I broke up with her." I could feel a smile breaking across my face, "You don't have to look so happy you know. For all you know I'm really broken up about all of this."

"You don't look like you are." I folded my arms, "If anything you look happy." I could see Zach trying to fight off a smile.

Maybe if I play my cards right we could end up back together or at least be as close as we were before we were together. Either way things are starting to really look up for me.