The Mess I Made

Everyone was already out searching for Zach by the time that I got outside.

"Nice of you to join us." Katherine sneered.

"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you." I was inches away from her face. Neither one of us backed down.

"I'd like to see you try." I raised my hand to her face and she didn't even flinch.

Ariana stepped between us, "Will you two cut it out? You're acting like children. Last time I checked we were adults. Maybe you should start acting like it."

I pointed at Katherine, "She started it. I was just standing up for myself."

Ariana rolled her eyes, "You never change." I opened my mouth to say something, "Save your speech Skye. I don't want to hear it."

"And I thought you were starting to forgive me. Oh silly me. I must have been mistaken."

"I just don't want to hear your shit right now. We have bigger things to worry about." Michael and Cameron both rounded the corner.

"He's not here. We checked around the entire building and there's no sign of him. His car isn't here either."

"He couldn't have gone far. Lets split into groups so we can cover more ground."

"What are we in Scooby Doo? Just keep me away from that damsel in distress. If anything she'll just cause even more problems."

"You think I want to be with you? As if."

"Like I was going to put you two in the same group anyway you morons. Cameron, Katherine, and I will take the van since we only brought two cars and seeing that one of them is already gone it seems like the only logical thing to do. Michael, you go with Skye and keep her in line would you?"

Michael nodded and we all proceeded to go our separate ways.

"I don't need to be kept in line," Michael looked over at me, "Do I?" Michael shrugged in return. We walked the rest of the way to my car in complete silence.

This was going to be one awkward car ride.

-x-

After driving in complete silence for over fifteen minutes I turned to look at Michael. He was fiddling with his thumbs looking straight ahead.

"Look Michael about the other day-"

He sighed, "I don't want to talk about it."

"We're going to have to sooner or later."

"I choose later."

"Don't be so stubborn." Michael looked away from the front window and turned his attention to the window beside him, "We can't just avoid this conversation forever you know."

"I just want to remember Nikki in a positive way. I don't want to feel any anger towards this whole situation any longer. I spent months hating you. I kept thinking that maybe I could have stopped everything that happened that night. I would replay it over and over in my head trying to figure out what I could have done. It's all my fault."

"It was never your fault. It's mine. You weren't the one who got in that car-"

Michael shook his head and closed his eyes, "I don't want to think about that car or what happened."

After a moment of silence I asked, "Can I be honest with you?"

He turned to look at the floor, "Nikki use to say that all the time. You sound just like her." I took one hand off the steering wheel and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"She loved you. She loved you so much Michael. Before you guys started going out she use to ask me all kinds of questions about you. She wanted to know everything. She wanted to know whether or not you were different than the gangster act you always do. She didn't believe me when I told you that's just how you were." I let out a small laugh, "You proved me wrong. She brought out the best in you. She did that with everyone. She was optimistic while I was a pessimist. She was everything I always wanted to be..."

I started to choke up so I stopped talking. After a few seconds I took my hand off Michael's shoulder and continued driving. The silence was almost unbearable so I turned on the radio to an alternative rock station. I was mouthing the words when Michael turned the station to a rap and hip hop one.

"My car equals my music. Don't touch the radio. When we're in your car you can listen to whatever you want." I teased. I flipped the station back to the one it was on and started singing out loud. Michael turned the station again.

He smirked, "I couldn't take you singing along."

"Hey! I'm not that bad."

"Nikki use to always say that you sounded like a dying cow."

"Rude!" I kept the station where it was and shook my head. Michael began drumming against his leg to the beat of the song, "You're pretty good at that you know."

"No shit. I am in a band."

I slapped my hand against my forehead, "Stupid comment gets stupid response."

He laughed at my ridiculousness and continued drumming until the song ended, "I still love her. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I remember the way she would crinckle her nose when she laughed. I remember the way she use to bite her lip and smile when she wanted to tell me something exciting. I remember everything about her. Sometimes it feels like she's still here."

"She is." I pointed to my heart, "She's in here. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true." Michael reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "I'm not a cab. You don't need to pay me."

"I'm not." He pulled out a small picture. It was of Nikki. It was a little bit bent but you could still see her smiling face perfectly, "I keep this with me wherever I go. It reminds me that I need to stay positive because that's what she would have wanted. She wouldn't want me to hate you even though I wanted to for so long. She would want me to be nice to you and be there for you."

I smiled, "She'd be proud of you."

He looked down at the picture and smiled, "You think so?"

"I know so."

-x-

We continued driving and searching for Zach but all we did was come out flat. There was no sign of him anywhere that we looked. We drove by the beach where we all use to hang out and we even went by the local In N Out but he wasn't at either of those.

"Where the fuck is that boy?" We were beginning to run out of places to look.

"We could try that park. You know the one we use to go to?" Oh, I remembered it all right.

Flashback

I was sitting on the swing set rubbing my hands together to try and stay warm. It was a cold day and I was too stupid to remember to bring a jacket but I didn't dare move away from my spot. I didn't want any kids to come by and take it.

I started swinging higher and higher. I could see over the entire park where Michael and Nikki were currently chasing one another since she took his beanie. They looked like little kids. They were laughing and sliding down the slides. They didn't care who was watching what they were doing. It was like they were the only ones left in the world.

It's amazing how Nikki transformed Michael. If you knew him you would think he's full of himself. He's constantly telling people how hot he is and how many girls he's been with. You'd never think that he's a complete sweetheart underneath it all. I guess you really shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

I stopped swinging my legs and came to a stop looking around to see if Zach was anywhere. He told me he would be here fifteen minutes ago but he was no where in sight.

Someone put their hands over my eyes, "What the-"

"Guess who?"

I reached up and pulled the hands away from my eyes, "I don't even have to guess. You've been doing that since we were like nine years old."

Zach smiled, "I should probably think of something else. I'm getting a bit unoriginal."

"Whatever Zachary." I laughed while he cringed at hearing his full name. He didn't like when anyone called him that because it made him think that he was in trouble or something, "Sorry Zach, I couldn't help it."

Before he took a seat in the swing next to me he put his jacket on over me. I slipped my arms into the sleeves and hugged my sides.

I looked over at him. He was holding on to a small piece of paper, "What's that you got there?"

"The reason why I'm late." He handed it over to me.

I smiled brightly, "You don't need to give me a reason why you're tardy. I'm not your teacher."

"Just open it you goof." I opened up the small piece of paper and inside read only three small words. I looked up and Zach was staring at the ground, "I'm not good with saying my feelings so I thought it would be better if-"

"I love you too."

End Flashback

We pulled up to the park and only noticed a few kids playing on the playground.

"Damn, I thought he was going to be here..."

"Skye?"

I looked over at Michael, "I need to tell you something. I should have told you a few years ago but I couldn't find the words to say. I can't keep this from you any longer. It's slowly eating away at me."

"What is it?"

"You don't know everything that happened that night at the Halloween party."