Blind Love

You know what sucks? Loving someone that obviously doesn’t love you back.

It’s even worse when it’s a fellow band member.

You see, I’m in love with the most wonderful person in this planet.

Badass curly hair, and a smile to die for, the kindest and purest personality ever, it’s what makes Ray Toro extraordinary.

I never meant to fall in love with him, but it’s impossible not to. Heck, I thought I was straight before he came along. Damn Ray and his smile, and hair, and hands that could…

“Mikey. Earth to Mikey/” Frank’s voice interrupted my thought.

“What?” I said annoyed.

“Nothing man. You were daydreaming again. He said smirking. “Is she hot?”

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I’m still in the closet.

“What makes you think it was a girl?” I said.

“ Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because your little friend is up?” He said, pointing towards my crotch.

I blushed and looked down. There was indeed a very noticeable bulge in my pants.

“So, is she? What’s her name?” He asked.

“Where are the guys?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“They’re gone shopping or something. Now stop changing the subject and tell me.” He growled.

Should I tell him? I can trust Frank, but I want to tell my brother first.

“Umm, I can’t tell you. I need to tell Gerard first.” I said, freaking out at the thought of finally coming out.

He looked sceptical. “Okay.”

I went in the kitchen and sat on the counter.

“This is killing me.” I whispered.

“What is?” Ray’s smooth voice said.

Woah. I did not hear him come in.

“Umm, nothing. Just something that’s not important. Where’s my brother?” I said, avoiding eye contact with him.

“He’s gone in his room to put his new drawing utensils away. Why?”

“I need to talk to him.” I yelled, running downstairs to my brother’s room.

When I got to his room I hesitantly knocked on his bedroom door.

“Come in, annoying little brother.” He yelled.

“How did you know it was me?” I asked.

“Frank told me you wanted to talk to me.”

“Oh. Yeah, umm, I don’t know how to say it.” I said freaking out.

I started shaking.

“Mikey what’s wrong? Why can’t you tell me? You know you can tell me anything.” He told me, a sad look on his face, probably thinking I don’t trust him.

“I’m gay.” I blurted out.

Gerard’s face would have been priceless if it wasn’t so serious for me. He didn’t speak. He was in shock. It scared me. What is he thinking?

“I’ll just go. I never should have said that.” I said, getting off the bed and walking towards the door.

“Mikey, wait. Why didn’t you tell me before today? Didn’t you trust me?” He whispered.

“I was afraid.” I simply said.

He pulled me into a hug. I let out the breath of air I didn’t know I was holding in.

“Never ever thing that your attraction to men will change anything between us.” He said, hugging me tightly. “You are my little brother and I love you.”

“Thank you.”

I’m happy I finally came out to him. It’s like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

“So what brought this up?” My brother asked.

“Nothing why?”

“I know you. You wouldn’t have brought it up if there wasn’t more to it.” He said knowingly.

Damn. I’m screwed. Why didn’t I think about that?

“I kinda like someone. But he’s as straight as a ruler.” I exclaimed.

He seemed to be thinking about it. He then smiled at me.

“And you know this fact from who? Maybe he goes both ways.” He stated.

I doubt it. I’m pretty sure Ray doesn’t like guys.

I sat back down. A comfortable silence stood between us.

“Do I know him?” He asked teasingly.

I blushed beat red.

“N-no.” I stuttered.

He glared at me.

“You’re lying.” He said.

“Fine. Yes you know him.”

“I knew it! Who is it? Tell me. You can trust me.”

“Ray.” I said. He didn’t hear me. I repeated myself.

He started laughing. I huffed.

“What the fuck. Don’t laugh! It’s not funny!”

“Yes it is. And you wanna know why? Ray told me the exact same thing when we went shopping.” He said, still laughing.

Pause. Stop.

He said that? That’s impossible. Ray’s not into guys. I think.

“No way.” I said.

“Guys get up here! I got just ordered pizza!” Frank yelled.

I’m pretty sure I looked like a zombie. My mind was racing. He liked guys? Even better, he liked me.

“Are you okay?” Ray asked me, making me jump.

“F-fine.” I replied, blushing.
“So Mikey, are you going to answer my question?” Frank asked, smirking once again. “Is she hot?”

“Umm, well yes. He is hot.” I said, waiting for his reaction.

He smiled.

Ray stiffened.

“He? Y-you’re into guys?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“Yes. I’m gay.” I said, some weird feeling swelling inside. It felt great.

“It’s about time you came out.” Frank said, happily.

“Yeah. It’s about time.” Ray said angrily, storming out.

It was quiet for a while.

“What just happened?” Gerard asked, voicing my thoughts.

“Wittle Ray is jelly!” Frank sang, still smiling.

Why?” I asked freaking out.

“He loves you remember? He probably thinks you are crushing on an other guys!” My brother yelled exasperated. “Now go get him!”

I ran to the door. I didn’t see Ray anywhere.

I decided to look at the park. We may be adults but we still love going to the park.

There he was. Angrily swinging high in the air.

“Ray! Can we talk?” I yelled so he could hear me.

“About your new lover? No thanks.” He replied, still swinging, making his hair fall behind him.

“I don’t have a lover!”

“Oh really? ‘He is hot’ What was that then?” He started to slow down on the swings.

“If you stopped being a dick right now you’d know that I was talking about you!” Aw shit. I didn’t want to tell him like this.

Ray did the unexpected. He let go of the swings and jumped off.

Landing on me.

“Ow fuck.” I groaned. That hurts.

“Did you mean what you just said or was it your way of making me come down?” He asked, totally serious.

“Both.” I said, smiling sweetly at the man I love.

He grinned back and kissed me.

“I love you Mikey.” He whispered, breaking the kiss.

“I love you too.” I replied, leaning in for another kiss.