You're Such a Gorgeous Nightmare

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket.

New Message
From: RadkePenis<3
Received: 2:42 PM
how are you doing baby?

Yes, he'd insisted that I put him in my phone as 'Radke Penis.' I changed it to 'Ronnie<3' and texted him back.

To: Ronnie<3
Sent: 2:44 PM
I'm not exactly sure. :/

I sent the text and tied my fiery red hair into a ponytail.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Bryan called from downstairs.

"No thanks."

"You sure?" he asked, worried. I know I got on his nerves sometimes, but at the end of the day, he really did care. I was disappointed in myself for pushing him away from me. I was doing it to everybody.

"Yes, Bryan," I answered.

I was hungry, but I didn't feel like eating. Not right now. It occurred to me that I probably wasn't good enough for Ronnie; I felt like the most fucked up person in the world right now... But if he wanted to try to help me, I'd let him. It would probably turn out like every other time anybody tried to help me.

Maybe I was just meant to be hopeless.

New Message
From: Ronnie<3
Received: 2:47 PM
anything I can do?

To: Ronnie<3
Sent: 2:48 PM
I need to see you.

New Message
From: Ronnie<3
Received: 2:50 PM
can you wait ten minutes?

To: Ronnie<3
Sent: 2:51 PM
as long as I can see you.

New Message
From: Ronnie<3
Received: 2:53 PM
getting in the car... no texting while driving! :P

- One Hour Later -

Ronnie still wasn't here. When I tried calling him, I didn't get an answer.

To: Ronnie<3
Sent: 4:05 PM
Ronnie...? Where the fuck are you? I NEED you!

After half an hour, he hadn't replied. I assumed he was blowing me off. Because he thought I was insane.

I AM insane. Giving up now would be better than being let down.