You're Such a Gorgeous Nightmare

When my eyes met Ronnie's, I was partly terrified and partly relieved. I was terrified because I was expecting Ronnie to hit me; the relief was because if he hit me, it would take my mind off of what was happening. It might make him feel better. It might make me feel better.

Instead of his knuckles (bang bang) meeting with my jaw (bang bang), he hugged me. He was crying.

It was a first; I'd never known Ronnie to be much of a hugger, and from what I'd heard from Max, Bryan and Robert, he never cried. He didn't seem like the type, anyway.

"Craig," he sobbed, smearing black eyeliner on the shoulder of my shirt. It didn't matter, my shirt was already black. It really wouldn't have mattered to me anyway. "I don't know what to do - where's Bryan?"

"He went back to the house. He's getting some things for Brii for when she wakes up. He really doesn't want to deal with this," I told him.

"I don't want to deal with it either, Craig! What if she doesn't wake up?" he asked.

"The best we can do right now is stay positive. The doctors said she'll probably pull through; they pumped her stomach and got all that shit outta there. They're giving her fluids right now..." I rolled my eyes at the technicality of my words. "I sound like a fucking doctor... I hate having to be this serious. No fun in hospitals."

Ronnie smiled. "Are we allowed to go in and see her?"

"No, they want us to wait until an actual family member is here. I keep telling Bryan to hurry up..." Because I know any minute could be her last, I didn't add. "But I know this kind of stuff can't be rushed."

He sat down next to me and leaned so his head was resting on my shoulder. "Craig, we are her family. Tell Bryan to hurry the fuck up," he said, closing his eyes.