Edge of Desire

I laid on my bed, my eyes shut bobbing my head to the music that was blaring from my headphones. What was I to do? She was constantly on my mind and I couldn’t seem to control it any longer. I always seemed to be in this ‘funk’ lately and a lot of people were starting to notice. I sighed, would it be like this forever until I somehow pushed Jess out of my life? I shook the thought out of my head as I got off of my bed to get ready for tonight’s promo party; we were releasing a new song. I slipped out of my t-shirt and headed toward the bathroom to shower.

“Holy shit!” I nearly screamed as I ran into Kelly in the hallway of my house.

“You scared the shit out of me!” I said as I pulled my earbuds out.

“Sorry.” She said with a smirk.

“How’d the hell you get in here anyway?” I asked curiously. I was pretty certain I had locked my door. She pulled out a key from her purse and dangled it in front of me. “And you got that where?”

“Kendall, we have been dating for a few years now, you never offered a key, so I took it upon myself” She said with another smirk. This irritated me. I didn’t give Kelly a key to my house because this was my getaway, my peace away from the world and now it’s gone. “Oh, that’s a great idea.” I lied. She gave me an approving smile and kissed my cheek.

“Where are you headed off to? I thought we could maybe catch a movie or something.”

“Sorry,” I said as I shook my head, “ Can’t tonight, I have a thing with the guys.” I tried to push past her to make a beeline to the bathroom. She placed her hand on my chest, stopping me in my tracks.

“Kendall, I miss you. Please choose me this once.” She pleaded.

“Kel, it’s not about choosing the guys over you, this is work related. I’m sorry, maybe tomorrow night?” I suggested.

She shrugged, “Fine, maybe I’ll go ask Jess to come out tonight.”

“Jess? Why Jess? I thought you didn’t like her.” I said.

“Well that's because I thought she was trying to sink her claws into you Kenny. I realized she’s completely harmless and uninterested in my man.”

I rolled my eyes, “Alright, I really have to go get ready now.”

“Well to make it up to me, can I shower with you?” She asked, I swallowed hard. I thought about it for a few minutes. Maybe having sex with Kelly would take my mind off of Jess.

“Alright.” I said as I led her into the bathroom. I started the water and let it warm up a bit

She was instantly all over me, she began leaving a trail of kisses down my stomach stopping at the waistline of my shorts. I took a handful of her hair in my hands, I didn’t realize how much I missed a woman’s touch. Kelly stripped me from my shorts and took me in her mouth, I groaned loudly. It didn’t take too long before I wanted to come, but she wouldn’t let me. She started the shower and slowly took off all her clothes. She got into the shower and I followed behind her. She pulled me close to her wet body and began kissing me. “I want you to fuck me Kendall.” She whispered into my ear. I put the tip of me into her and she moaned loudly, “Don’t tease me.” She scolded. I entered her and began to thrust hard, I focused on her moaning but somehow Jess interrupted all of my thoughts. I began to get frustrated, frustrated that it wasn’t Jess. I pulled out of Kelly and seemed to become aggressive. I flipped her to face the wall of the shower and entered her once more, thrusting as hard and as fast as I could. Nothing I did could get Jess out of my mind. I let my thoughts wander until I was ready to come and I pulled out and let her finish me off. There was nothing more I wanted than Jess.



I tried not to touch one beer, I wanted to stay sober for this. For her. I saw her walk into the restaurant we were hosting our party at and I smiled. She was wearing a simple black dress, but looked absolutely stunning. I didn’t have the courage to go up to her, after all I knew that she didn’t want me. I tried to focus my attention on the other guest we had.

“Hi.” I heard her say, I spun around to face her.

“Hey, you look great tonight. I mean not that you don’t look great every night, you just look really-” I caught myself starting to babble and felt myself blush.

“Thank you Kendall. I can’t wait to hear this new song tonight.” She said with a smile.

“I think you’ll love it.” I said.

“I know I will.” She smiled and we both kind of stood there looking at each other without saying a word, but it didn’t feel awkward.

“Hi Baby, you look gorgeous!” James said as he planted a kiss on Jess’ lips, I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

“Thank you.”

“Shall we?” James said as he extended his arm out to her to lead her to the dinner table.

“I’ll talk to you later Kendall.”

I nodded in agreement.

I watched her the whole night as she mingled with guests and enjoyed her time with James. I’ll admit it, I was envious of him.

When it was time to debut our new song, I watched every emotion she made, after all I wrote it about her. The song was called ‘No Idea’ and it was about honestly, my feelings for her and how she didn’t even seem to notice them. She seemed to fail to make eye contact with me for the rest of the night. She hated it.

People were starting to leave and Jess pulled me to the side.

“Kendall, I-” I cut her off before she even began.

“You don’t have to say anything Jess, really.”

“Why? I loved it. The real reason why I’m talking to you now though is, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over and maybe drink a glass of wine and talk or watch a movie.”

“Come over? You mean like, to your house?” I asked as if I was stupid.

“Yes to my house.”

“Are you sure?” What was I doing, of course I’d love to, say yes idiot.

“If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t be asking you.”

“Okay, when do you want me to come?”

She pulled out her phone to check the time, “Eleven?”

I nodded, “I’ll see you then”

“Great, I’ll see you at eleven then” She said with a smile and I watched her walk out of the restaurant with James.