Edge of Desire
012
A month flew by, it went faster than I expected. Not so hard Kendall! The hard part was when it reached a year.
I had learned what James had done that night.
I hadn’t learned why she reacted the way she did.
I missed her.
“Look you and James have to talk sometime.” Carlos said.
“There’s nothing I can do, he thinks Jess cheated on him with me.”
“And did you?”
“Seriously? You too now?”
“I’m just asking Ken, no need to get defensive”
“No, she didn’t, we didn’t.”
“How did you two meet anyway?”
“Does it matter?”
Carlos thought for a while, when he snapped his fingers it startled me.
“Kendall! You didn’t”
“Didn’t what?”
“She was the blonde at the bar.”
“No, she wasn’t.”
“Oh yes she was. I remember now! You stayed after to ‘meet’ her.”
“Alright you caught me, Jess is the blonde from the bar.”
“And you two had sex…”
“Is that a question?”
“No.” He said with a chuckle, “Why would you let her date James, especially with the history you two have.”
“It meant nothing, it was a one-time thing, nothing’s happened since.”
“Not even a touch? A kiss?”
I didn’t answer.
“Kendall, that’s cheating! She did cheat on James.”
“Shhh, we kissed twice.”
“Maybe you should tell James and apologize?”
“You know if he didn’t go after every girl I introduce to you guys, we wouldn’t have a problem!”
“Kendall, you have a girlfriend, you need to tell her.”
I buried my face with my hands.
“How did things get so fucked?”
To be honest, I don’t know why I was still with Kelly. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be alone.
Selfish I know.
It’s been a whole goddamn year since she left and I’ve done nothing but mope about it! It was time to fix things.
“Hey Kel, we need to talk.” I said as I pulled her onto my bed.
“Those words together are never good.”
“There’s something I need to tell you… it’s about Jess.”
“What about her?”
“Well, one night the boys and I went to a bar and got pretty wasted, that’s when I met Jess. We drank together and we…we had sex that night. It was just that one time, there’s been two other instances when she and I have kissed.”
Kelly seemed at a loss for words, she was turning bright red.
“You cheated on me?” She screamed, “You cheated on me with her!? And you just dangled her in front of everyone without any guilt!”
“Kel, I’m sorry” I really was, I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I did love Kelly. “I needed to tell you because I have to go after her, I can’t keep stringing you along like this anymore.”
She was crying and I tried to embrace her but she shoved me away.
“Fuck you Kendall.”
“Kelly... I”
“Save it asshole, I’ve given you everything Kendall! This is how you repay me?”
“ I can’t do this anymore.”
That’s when I got the slap I well deserved.
I didn’t feel any regret, I should have done this months ago.
James is the one person, I couldn’t face for I knew it was possible for our friendship to be ruined forever.
I was going to New York, it was decided. I had planned everything out with Jess’s mom, time, date, how I was getting there. I would surprise her.
‘Knock, knock’
“Hello, Mrs. Robertson, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Hi, you must be Kendall, I’ve heard so much about you! Please do come in.”
“Thank you.” I said as I grabbed my bags and stepped inside the two story luxurious house.
“Jess isn’t here at the moment, I tried to keep her from going out, but she’s just so stubborn. She should be back shortly. You’re more than welcome to wait for her.”
“Thanks.” I said with a smile.
“Please make yourself at home, can I get you anything to drink?”
“Oh, just some water please.”
She nodded her head and I sat on the couch in the living room.
I couldn’t believe that I was in Jess’s childhood house.
I waited for about twenty minutes before I heard the front door open, my palms were sweaty and my heart was racing.
“Jess, could you come here for a minute.” I heard her mother call from the kitchen.
“Mom, I have to go, meeting Jake in five.”
I stepped out of the living room and locked eyes with her.
She froze, “Kendall?”
“Hi Jess.”
“W-what are you doing here?” She said as she took a step toward me.
“I needed to see you.” I said rubbing the back of my neck.
I stepped closer to her.
“Why?”
“The way we left things, wasn’t okay with me.”
“Kendall it was better for me, better for you that I left.”
I took another step toward her.
“Just spend this weekend with me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please?” I said as I took another step.
She didn’t answer.
“Oh just give the boy a chance, he flew all the way here for you.” Her mom said.
“Mom!”
“Just this weekend Jess and if you still don’t want me, I’ll leave.”
“What about Kelly?”
“We’re not together anymore.”
She bit her lip, “Ok, just this weekend Kendall. I mean it.”
“Okay.” I said with a smile.
“Let me just let my…my friend know I have some other plans.”
I nodded and watched her walk up the stairs.
She was up there for what seemed like hours, I decided to check on her.
“Look, I know. He’ll be here for just the weekend, then we can get back to us.” I heard her say, relax, everything will be fine. Nothing will happen. Bye.”
I knocked on her door and entered the room.
“Kendall, I was just”
“I just came to see if you were okay.”
“I am.”
“I missed you Jess.”
She sighed.
“I missed you too Kendall.”
She walked over to me and embraced me with a hug, I’ve been longing for her touch for too long.
“Sorry I ruined your plans.”
“Don’t worry about it, we’ll have fun this weekend.”
“Okay.” I said with a faint smile. Who was this guy she was speaking to and why had he become more important than me?
We spent the first night of me being there with her parents, watching movies, eating a home cooked meal, reminiscing the past. Something I would love to be a long term thing.
“You can sleep here.” Jess said as she flipped on the light to the guest room.
I placed my bags on the bed and began rummaging through them to find my sleep pants.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” She said as she began to walk out of the room.
“Jess.”
“Yes?” She said as she turned to face me.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Kendall.”
I had learned what James had done that night.
I hadn’t learned why she reacted the way she did.
I missed her.
“Look you and James have to talk sometime.” Carlos said.
“There’s nothing I can do, he thinks Jess cheated on him with me.”
“And did you?”
“Seriously? You too now?”
“I’m just asking Ken, no need to get defensive”
“No, she didn’t, we didn’t.”
“How did you two meet anyway?”
“Does it matter?”
Carlos thought for a while, when he snapped his fingers it startled me.
“Kendall! You didn’t”
“Didn’t what?”
“She was the blonde at the bar.”
“No, she wasn’t.”
“Oh yes she was. I remember now! You stayed after to ‘meet’ her.”
“Alright you caught me, Jess is the blonde from the bar.”
“And you two had sex…”
“Is that a question?”
“No.” He said with a chuckle, “Why would you let her date James, especially with the history you two have.”
“It meant nothing, it was a one-time thing, nothing’s happened since.”
“Not even a touch? A kiss?”
I didn’t answer.
“Kendall, that’s cheating! She did cheat on James.”
“Shhh, we kissed twice.”
“Maybe you should tell James and apologize?”
“You know if he didn’t go after every girl I introduce to you guys, we wouldn’t have a problem!”
“Kendall, you have a girlfriend, you need to tell her.”
I buried my face with my hands.
“How did things get so fucked?”
To be honest, I don’t know why I was still with Kelly. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be alone.
Selfish I know.
It’s been a whole goddamn year since she left and I’ve done nothing but mope about it! It was time to fix things.
“Hey Kel, we need to talk.” I said as I pulled her onto my bed.
“Those words together are never good.”
“There’s something I need to tell you… it’s about Jess.”
“What about her?”
“Well, one night the boys and I went to a bar and got pretty wasted, that’s when I met Jess. We drank together and we…we had sex that night. It was just that one time, there’s been two other instances when she and I have kissed.”
Kelly seemed at a loss for words, she was turning bright red.
“You cheated on me?” She screamed, “You cheated on me with her!? And you just dangled her in front of everyone without any guilt!”
“Kel, I’m sorry” I really was, I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I did love Kelly. “I needed to tell you because I have to go after her, I can’t keep stringing you along like this anymore.”
She was crying and I tried to embrace her but she shoved me away.
“Fuck you Kendall.”
“Kelly... I”
“Save it asshole, I’ve given you everything Kendall! This is how you repay me?”
“ I can’t do this anymore.”
That’s when I got the slap I well deserved.
I didn’t feel any regret, I should have done this months ago.
James is the one person, I couldn’t face for I knew it was possible for our friendship to be ruined forever.
I was going to New York, it was decided. I had planned everything out with Jess’s mom, time, date, how I was getting there. I would surprise her.
‘Knock, knock’
“Hello, Mrs. Robertson, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Hi, you must be Kendall, I’ve heard so much about you! Please do come in.”
“Thank you.” I said as I grabbed my bags and stepped inside the two story luxurious house.
“Jess isn’t here at the moment, I tried to keep her from going out, but she’s just so stubborn. She should be back shortly. You’re more than welcome to wait for her.”
“Thanks.” I said with a smile.
“Please make yourself at home, can I get you anything to drink?”
“Oh, just some water please.”
She nodded her head and I sat on the couch in the living room.
I couldn’t believe that I was in Jess’s childhood house.
I waited for about twenty minutes before I heard the front door open, my palms were sweaty and my heart was racing.
“Jess, could you come here for a minute.” I heard her mother call from the kitchen.
“Mom, I have to go, meeting Jake in five.”
I stepped out of the living room and locked eyes with her.
She froze, “Kendall?”
“Hi Jess.”
“W-what are you doing here?” She said as she took a step toward me.
“I needed to see you.” I said rubbing the back of my neck.
I stepped closer to her.
“Why?”
“The way we left things, wasn’t okay with me.”
“Kendall it was better for me, better for you that I left.”
I took another step toward her.
“Just spend this weekend with me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please?” I said as I took another step.
She didn’t answer.
“Oh just give the boy a chance, he flew all the way here for you.” Her mom said.
“Mom!”
“Just this weekend Jess and if you still don’t want me, I’ll leave.”
“What about Kelly?”
“We’re not together anymore.”
She bit her lip, “Ok, just this weekend Kendall. I mean it.”
“Okay.” I said with a smile.
“Let me just let my…my friend know I have some other plans.”
I nodded and watched her walk up the stairs.
She was up there for what seemed like hours, I decided to check on her.
“Look, I know. He’ll be here for just the weekend, then we can get back to us.” I heard her say, relax, everything will be fine. Nothing will happen. Bye.”
I knocked on her door and entered the room.
“Kendall, I was just”
“I just came to see if you were okay.”
“I am.”
“I missed you Jess.”
She sighed.
“I missed you too Kendall.”
She walked over to me and embraced me with a hug, I’ve been longing for her touch for too long.
“Sorry I ruined your plans.”
“Don’t worry about it, we’ll have fun this weekend.”
“Okay.” I said with a faint smile. Who was this guy she was speaking to and why had he become more important than me?
We spent the first night of me being there with her parents, watching movies, eating a home cooked meal, reminiscing the past. Something I would love to be a long term thing.
“You can sleep here.” Jess said as she flipped on the light to the guest room.
I placed my bags on the bed and began rummaging through them to find my sleep pants.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” She said as she began to walk out of the room.
“Jess.”
“Yes?” She said as she turned to face me.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Kendall.”