Edge of Desire

Kendall, where are you?

Hey babe, I'll be at your house soon. Just hanging out with the guys for a bit.

Okay, I'll leave the door unlocked for you. Love you.

Okay. See you soon, love you too Kel.

Kelly and I have been dating on and off for about two and a half years now, I really did love her.

"You took forever." Carlos said as I walked into the one of the few restaurants that actually stayed open 24 hours.

"Sorry." I said as I slid into the seat next to Logan.

"So tell us about your friend Kendall." James said

"Who? Jess?"

James nodded. "How do you know her?" Logan asked

"I just know her."

"Do you think you could get me a date with her?" James asked.

I sighed. "I guess I'll ask her."

James lit up like a little boy at a candy store. We all ordered food and ate pretty fast as we talked about our new CD and about Jess, and how I met her and other things that I had to dance around to make sure I didn't release the information about Jess and I sleeping together.

"Hey guys I have to head to Kelly's house. I'll catch up with you guys later."

I know I was headed to my lovely girlfriend's house, but I just couldn't get Jess off of my mind, something about her was so mysterious and I was so drawn to her.

I wanted to get to know her better. I had so many questions. There was also something that really scared me right now. I wanted to be with Jess at this moment in time instead of with Kelly.

That terrified me.

I finally arrived to my girlfriend's house just before 1 am.

I walked inside of her house, shutting and locking the door behind me and went straight to her room.

I took my shoes off and pulled my shirt off and hopped into bed next to her. "Hi." I said and I kissed her lips.

"Hi Kenny." She said as she pulled me into a deeper, longer kiss. "I missed you tonight, where'd you head off to?"

"I just took Jess home and headed to hang out with the guys." I said

"Oh Jess..." Kelly said with a hint of jealousy in her voice. "What's going on with you and Jess, Kendall?"

I looked at her. "What are you talking about Kel?"

"Do you like her?"

"Kelly, you're being ridiculous"

"Kendall, you're being an asshole."

I got out of her bed and began to put my shirt on. "Where are you going?" Kelly asked as she jumped out of bed

"Home."

"Why?" She said sadly, "You just got here..."

"I don't want to deal with your shit Kelly, you already know I love you why do you have to get all jealous."

"Because I love you Kendall."

"And I love you too," I said as I slipped on my shoes "But I didn't come here to hear you bitch about my friends. I'll call you in the morning."

I walked down the stairs and Kelly followed behind me. "Kendall, come on don't leave. It's late. You're being stupid."

"Goodnight Kel." I said as I kissed her forehead and left her house.

I got in my car but I didn't start it yet. What was I thinking? I shouldn't have reacted like that, now Kelly is going to think something is definitely going on between Jess and I. But then again, I could barely lay there with Kelly without feeling guilty because Jess was in the back of my mind.

I started my car and headed to my house.

Once my head hit my pillow, I was out like a light.



It was 9 in the morning and I couldn't get last night out of my mind. Kendall made me feel wanted unlike any other person in my life. I looked at my little Yorkshire terrier sitting by my feet, begging for attention, I reached down to pet him and I sighed. Something in me wanted to be with Kendall but then something in me said,'Jess you don't want someone like him.'

Someone who had a lot of attention, was very famous and had a gorgeous girlfriend.

I ultimately just didn't want to get too close to him, when you get close to people... things don't go well.

But I couldn't get him off of my mind, he was gorgeous and knowing that I had already kissed him and slept with him made me feel good.

It also hurt me so much, because I couldn't remember how any of it felt.

And that's what hurt me the most.

He remembered and I didn't.