My Angel.
Overdose
Gerard’s POV
one year later
I keep asking myself how I could possibly have fallen for a 16 year old. I’m twenty-fucking-one years old for Chrissakes. It’s illegal for a start. Not just because of the age difference…
Because it’s a guy.
And it’s wrong, I know, but every time I’m around him, talking to him, looking into his beautiful eyes, all the shit in my life just goes, and it’s all I can do to stop myself from just leaning over and kissing him.
And sometimes, I think maybe, just maybe, he could like me too. But then I remember that I’m a depressed-alcoholic-unemployed-high-school-dropout-loser. And no one so perfect could ever like me. In that way anyway.
My cell phone started to ring, cutting my thoughts in half. I searched around for it a bit, before finding it and checking the caller ID – Mikey.
“Hey Mikes.”
“Gerard… Oh-my-God… Gee…. Frankie-he-unconscious-overdose… Frankie…” My heart stopped beating. Frankie… Overdose? No – he couldn’t do that – not my Frankie…
“Mikey, slow down… What happened?”
“He did it again Gee, he O-D-ed on his meds. He’s unconscious. I don’t know what to do”
“What do you mean, he did it again?”
“Does it matter?! Just get the fuck over here!”
“Okay… Yeah… Sorry… I’m coming.” I dropped the phone on the bed and tried to find my shoes. After searching for about 30 seconds, I couldn’t be bothered anymore, so ran out of the house and tripped across the street barefoot to Frank’s house.
I pushed open the slightly ajar front door, and ran upstairs to Frankie’s room.
He was lying on the bed, seemingly asleep, with Vodka and the all too familiar anti-depressants scattered around him.
“Ohmygod.” I breathed. Mikey snapped his head up from the floor by Frankie’s bed.
“Gee,” he sobbed, “What do I do?”
I rushed over to the bed. “How long has he been out?” I asked.
“I dunno… I got here like, half an hour ago and he was like this then. He keeps on coming round though, then passing out again.”
“Okay Mikes, he’s gunna be fine. Do you know why-” I began to ask, as Frank started to wake up “Oh Frankie!” I sat on the bed and pulled him, gently, into a sitting position so he wouldn’t hurt his head. “Are you okay…?”
“My head… it’s pounding…” he said sleepily, shyly looking up into my eyes. I melted.
“Mikey, go get him a glass of water.” I ordered. He jumped up and ran out of the room. “Why?” I whispered.
“I can’t… You wouldn’t… It’s complicated Gee.”
“You know you can tell me anything Frankie.”
“Not this.” He said quietly and started to sob. “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be Frankie. Don’t be.” He collapsed against me, his head leaning on my cheek. I brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead. He looked up at me with big eyes, and before I could say anything he leaned up and kissed me. So soft I thought I was imagining it. It was over in a few seconds, but that didn’t matter.
I had just had my first kiss with the man I love.
Then he collapsed against my chest again, unconscious, just as Mikey came back into the room with the water.
Frank’s POV
Oh god. I can’t believe I just did that. And I can’t believe he didn’t pull away, let alone kiss me back. It was only the thought that I could blame it on being kinda out of it if he had pulled away that gave me the courage to do it in the first place.
That was amazing. One reason I’m now glad I even screwed up killing myself… again.
But… Gerard… he can’t feel the same way can he?
Frank. Are you kidding yourself? You’re a loser-depressive-emo-screw-up-short-little-kid. How could someone so perfect even think about liking you?
Never in a million years…
one year later
I keep asking myself how I could possibly have fallen for a 16 year old. I’m twenty-fucking-one years old for Chrissakes. It’s illegal for a start. Not just because of the age difference…
Because it’s a guy.
And it’s wrong, I know, but every time I’m around him, talking to him, looking into his beautiful eyes, all the shit in my life just goes, and it’s all I can do to stop myself from just leaning over and kissing him.
And sometimes, I think maybe, just maybe, he could like me too. But then I remember that I’m a depressed-alcoholic-unemployed-high-school-dropout-loser. And no one so perfect could ever like me. In that way anyway.
My cell phone started to ring, cutting my thoughts in half. I searched around for it a bit, before finding it and checking the caller ID – Mikey.
“Hey Mikes.”
“Gerard… Oh-my-God… Gee…. Frankie-he-unconscious-overdose… Frankie…” My heart stopped beating. Frankie… Overdose? No – he couldn’t do that – not my Frankie…
“Mikey, slow down… What happened?”
“He did it again Gee, he O-D-ed on his meds. He’s unconscious. I don’t know what to do”
“What do you mean, he did it again?”
“Does it matter?! Just get the fuck over here!”
“Okay… Yeah… Sorry… I’m coming.” I dropped the phone on the bed and tried to find my shoes. After searching for about 30 seconds, I couldn’t be bothered anymore, so ran out of the house and tripped across the street barefoot to Frank’s house.
I pushed open the slightly ajar front door, and ran upstairs to Frankie’s room.
He was lying on the bed, seemingly asleep, with Vodka and the all too familiar anti-depressants scattered around him.
“Ohmygod.” I breathed. Mikey snapped his head up from the floor by Frankie’s bed.
“Gee,” he sobbed, “What do I do?”
I rushed over to the bed. “How long has he been out?” I asked.
“I dunno… I got here like, half an hour ago and he was like this then. He keeps on coming round though, then passing out again.”
“Okay Mikes, he’s gunna be fine. Do you know why-” I began to ask, as Frank started to wake up “Oh Frankie!” I sat on the bed and pulled him, gently, into a sitting position so he wouldn’t hurt his head. “Are you okay…?”
“My head… it’s pounding…” he said sleepily, shyly looking up into my eyes. I melted.
“Mikey, go get him a glass of water.” I ordered. He jumped up and ran out of the room. “Why?” I whispered.
“I can’t… You wouldn’t… It’s complicated Gee.”
“You know you can tell me anything Frankie.”
“Not this.” He said quietly and started to sob. “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be Frankie. Don’t be.” He collapsed against me, his head leaning on my cheek. I brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead. He looked up at me with big eyes, and before I could say anything he leaned up and kissed me. So soft I thought I was imagining it. It was over in a few seconds, but that didn’t matter.
I had just had my first kiss with the man I love.
Then he collapsed against my chest again, unconscious, just as Mikey came back into the room with the water.
Frank’s POV
Oh god. I can’t believe I just did that. And I can’t believe he didn’t pull away, let alone kiss me back. It was only the thought that I could blame it on being kinda out of it if he had pulled away that gave me the courage to do it in the first place.
That was amazing. One reason I’m now glad I even screwed up killing myself… again.
But… Gerard… he can’t feel the same way can he?
Frank. Are you kidding yourself? You’re a loser-depressive-emo-screw-up-short-little-kid. How could someone so perfect even think about liking you?
Never in a million years…
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay, so I'm sorry again about keeping on changing my mind.But I'm thinking, that if I ever get to the end of this story, I might do a sequel, and if I do, the age thing is important (:
katy
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