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Chapter 1
Silence. That's all there was after those two words. There was nothing more to be said. It's funny how only two words can completely change an atmosphere. "It's over." Really? That's it? That's the end of this relationship? I don't deserve anything more than an "it's over?" I obviously didn't mean anything to him. Two years later, and I only get "it's over."
Here I am, sitting on his couch, wanting to die. His friends around. My friends around. We've all been drinking, maybe he's drunk? Maybe he doesn't know what he's saying? Maybe it's a joke. After all, he's always joking around with me. Maybe I'm taking this way out of proportion.
This cannot be happening. And why couldn't he do this in private? Not in front of all of our friends. This is embarrassing. He's not worth the tears, right? I mean, this is his second chance and all.. He promised me it wouldn't happen like this. He swore that he wouldn't leave me. I'm sure it's just a joke...
All his words flew through my head. "I love you, Sydney. I'll never let you go." Why'd this have to be a lie? Maybe it's my fault. I was the one who gave him another chance. I shouldn't have let myself get back into this situation. Yeah, that's it. It's my fault that I'm hurting.
No, Sydney. Stop. You have to stop blaming yourself. You're better than this, than him. There's nothing wrong with you, he's just too blind to see it. Yeah, that's it. I deserve better. That was his last chance. No more of him. I'm happy, it's all going to be okay.
I don't need him to be happy. I have good friends, a good sister. That's all I need. He doesn't deserve me, I'm better.
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I should probably start off by saying what happened, and why I took him back. We'd been dating for a year or so, and everything was going good. Or at least it seemed to be. We hadn't broken up at all, or gotten in any fights, so I thought that we were going strong. I was apparently incorrect..
So Tom (his name, obviously..) didn't tell me he loved me until like six months into our relationship, which is fine because I'd rather have him say it and mean it than just say it to say it. He didn't kiss me until our 2 month, because he'd never actually kissed a girl before. Which I thought was cute.
None of that was a problem in our relationship. But, him kissing me showed him that he loved to kiss. He had been cheating on me. I didn't find out until a while later, and he'd been doing it the whole time. So, I broke it off and he was miserable (well, that's what he told me) the whole time we were broken up. So, I forgave him and we got back together.
I haven't heard of him cheating on me since then....but maybe he did. Maybe that's why he left me. Maybe he fell for someone else... who knows. But that's irrelevant right now. Because I'm done. No more chances. He ruined it, and I'm completely fine now.
For once, I can say this is not my fault.. and actually believe it.
Here I am, sitting on his couch, wanting to die. His friends around. My friends around. We've all been drinking, maybe he's drunk? Maybe he doesn't know what he's saying? Maybe it's a joke. After all, he's always joking around with me. Maybe I'm taking this way out of proportion.
This cannot be happening. And why couldn't he do this in private? Not in front of all of our friends. This is embarrassing. He's not worth the tears, right? I mean, this is his second chance and all.. He promised me it wouldn't happen like this. He swore that he wouldn't leave me. I'm sure it's just a joke...
All his words flew through my head. "I love you, Sydney. I'll never let you go." Why'd this have to be a lie? Maybe it's my fault. I was the one who gave him another chance. I shouldn't have let myself get back into this situation. Yeah, that's it. It's my fault that I'm hurting.
No, Sydney. Stop. You have to stop blaming yourself. You're better than this, than him. There's nothing wrong with you, he's just too blind to see it. Yeah, that's it. I deserve better. That was his last chance. No more of him. I'm happy, it's all going to be okay.
I don't need him to be happy. I have good friends, a good sister. That's all I need. He doesn't deserve me, I'm better.
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I should probably start off by saying what happened, and why I took him back. We'd been dating for a year or so, and everything was going good. Or at least it seemed to be. We hadn't broken up at all, or gotten in any fights, so I thought that we were going strong. I was apparently incorrect..
So Tom (his name, obviously..) didn't tell me he loved me until like six months into our relationship, which is fine because I'd rather have him say it and mean it than just say it to say it. He didn't kiss me until our 2 month, because he'd never actually kissed a girl before. Which I thought was cute.
None of that was a problem in our relationship. But, him kissing me showed him that he loved to kiss. He had been cheating on me. I didn't find out until a while later, and he'd been doing it the whole time. So, I broke it off and he was miserable (well, that's what he told me) the whole time we were broken up. So, I forgave him and we got back together.
I haven't heard of him cheating on me since then....but maybe he did. Maybe that's why he left me. Maybe he fell for someone else... who knows. But that's irrelevant right now. Because I'm done. No more chances. He ruined it, and I'm completely fine now.
For once, I can say this is not my fault.. and actually believe it.