You Drank the Poison and I Let You In

I never in a million years thought that I'd be driving back to the wretched town of Towson. That place held nothing but bad memories and dirty facades for me. I still remember that night I climbed in my old beat up car and drove towards the northern state of New York.

At the time, I was just another teenager in high school who was just dying to get out of the town I lived in and to travel the world. Everywhere seemed more beautiful than this town. It was just another day where I had to wake up way too early and make myself presentable to a group of people who just didn't give a fuck about me.

After taking a short shower and pulling on my vintage Tom Petty tee I made my way downstairs to the kitchen where I was greeted by my douchebag of a brother and his rather kind friends.

"Hey Drella, Alex is going to give you a ride to school today. It's on the way to the studio." my mom told me as I sat down next to Zack and started shoving food in my mouth.

"You know, it's not fucking fair. They basically dropped out of high school so they could do what they wanted, and you won't even let me go live with my real dad in New York. You know that place has my heart." I groaned. She just ignored me and went upstairs to her room to get ready for her day at work. Zack rubbed my back softly showing that he cared, but at this point I was just fed up. I had been for a while now.

After I finished eating we all piled into Alex's small car. The salesman assured us it would seat five but the cramped backseat only held enough room for two people. I ended up half sitting on Rian and Zack's laps awkwardly. When we pulled up to my school I had to climb over Rian's lap to get out onto the sidewalk. He always made everything difficult and I ended up fumbling face first into the cement. The kids who were walking past started laughing and saying those same hurtful things that were thrown at me every day.

Huffing, I got up and headed into the school and towards my first class. I couldn't help but think about how sick I was, of this school, these people, this town and all the bore it held for me. I couldn't help but think that if I was with my dad in New York, I wouldn't have to deal with all this bullshit these kids have put me through.

As lunch came I had nothing else to do but head home for the hour. I had nobody to hang out with at school, but I guess that was my fault. I never made it my goal to become a socialite and meet new friends. Not in this town anyway, not with these fake assholes.

I arrived home after walking for a good fifteen minutes. A bit exhausted, I plopped down on the couch and turned on the television. There was nothing really good on at 11AM but I settled down for some cartoons playing on Nickelodeon. I didn't really pay attention to what was happening in the episode, rather just trying to recollect my thoughts.

It had been seventeen years of being stuck in a hell hole. Towson was a small town, there was nothing to do here other than the mall and the local venue which was filled with no good talent bands anyway.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone enter the house. I looked over to find Jack standing at the doorway with a sheepish grin on his face. I sent him a smile and walked over to gently kiss him on the cheek.

"I knew I'd find you here" He said softly bringing his hand up to brush my hair behind my ear "I'm sorry about this morning too. How was school?"

"You know exactly how I feel about school" I laughed slightly "I can't stand this town anymore. I can't handle it."

"You have me here though, and I can't ever let you leave me. I'll be completely heartbroken. I know you have it all planned but I can't let you go through with this. I love you Drella, please?" He pouted.

"Jack, you know that New York is my biggest dream. You know how much I love that city. Most of all, you know how I just need to get out of here. We'll keep contact though, won't we?" I said quietly against his chest before I leaned up to kiss him softly.

"No you don't. I don't understand why you can't stay here for me. Just give me two years Drella, and I'll get you out of this town. We've almost made our break, and once we do I'll bring you to New York. Stop being such a selfish little whore and work with me for a bit here." He begged.

I almost lost it once he said the last few words. He had no idea what I had been through. He left for six out of the twelve months and this town welcomed him every time he headed back. Being trapped in this town for a good part of my life made me disgusted and he knew how much I needed to get out. No, I didn't feel that it was a selfish part of me saying that. I found him the one who was being selfish not wanting to maintain a long distance relationship, even if it was only for a few months. It's not like we weren't on the brink of one anyway, with him touring all the time. I didn't see what difference it would make if I had moved in with my dad while the band was recording here. It was only a three hour drive to Brooklyn anyway, and I would gladly drive that distance to see him once in a while.

"You're still going to go through with this aren't you? You never have a shit about me. You fed me all these lies about how much you loved me, how much I meant to you, yet you're just going to leave me here. Well fuck you too Drella, you bitch." He growled heading out the door and slamming it behind him.

At that point, I knew that I had just lost the only thing that had the possibility of keeping me in this goddamn town. I ran upstairs to my room and packed my clothes and belongings before putting them in the trunk of my car. I headed into the house for the last time, grabbing a blank sheet of paper and writing a goodbye letter.

Dear whoever's reading this,

You probably know, I can't stand this place anymore. I can't exactly handle the way that I'm being treated at school, I can't handle how little this town has to offer. I feel like I've been stuck in a rut for the past few years and I'm officially done with this.

You know I had second thoughts about actually leaving without telling anyone, but I know it's for the best, especially since I know you'd try and stop me. I'm sorry about doing this, I really am. I just need a fucking break.

Drella

I taped it to the back of the front door so that I know someone would see it, got in my car, and headed north.

I never planned on heading back to this town. Since Jack and I broke up, I had no reason to visit. A couple hours after I left I had received a furious phone call from Alex yelling at me for leaving. For the next few days my phone constantly blew up with texts and calls, mainly from Alex, Rian, and Zack trying to get me to go back. They eventually gave up though but they always tried their best to come and visit me. Jack never came though and when I asked about him they never told me much.

It had been two years since I left, and well I had to give Jack credit, they completely blew up since then. After several phone calls, hours of begging and empty bribes Rian somehow convinced me to head back for their CD release party.

As I reached the welcome sign to Towson a sigh passed my lips. The last two years of my life were the best. New York had so much to offer, after I finished high school there I went on to study film at a very prestigious school. As far as my love life went, I had a wonderful boyfriend. I met him at my university when he came in as a guest speaker. He's a Oscar nominated actor, but to me he's just the sweet guy in my film history class that I fell in love with. At the moment he's off filming a movie with Walt Berkman named The Squid and The Whale. I was hoping that he would be able to come with me and keep me company.

I pulled up to the local venue and headed inside. This was a private show, just for a few friends and family. Once Alex spotted me he got off the stage and ran towards me embracing me in a life threatening hug. I laughed as Zack and Rian also made their way over greeting me, although my mind was fixated on something else.

He stood there on stage eyes boring into mine. He held that same hurt look as that day he left me. We both seemed stunned for a little while just standing there staring as each other. As much as I tried to pay attention to what Alex, Zack and Rian were saying, there was a million other thoughts running through my mind, all about him. I excused myself from them and headed towards the stage where he stood.

When I walked up he still seemed dumbfounded staring at me. I put a small smile on my face before waving up to him awkwardly. That seemed to help him recover as he blinked a few times, jumped off the stage and pulled me into a big hug. He kept his arms wrapped around me and I couldn't help but tear up thinking about how hard it was for me to get through our break up.

"I missed you Drells. I have never felt like this about anyone but you." He whispered "I've been trying to find that for the past two years but I just haven't been able to. You still are my whole world and I've been waiting two years to tell you this."

"You never called" I said back "You never kept on contact with me at all. You never cared, even when I called you, you never answered. When I left, I quickly realized that my life felt completely empty without you. And when I called, you never answered. You can't expect me to run back into your arms right now. I was forced to get over you and now I'm with the most wonderful person that the world could ever bring me"

I pushed him away from me and left towards the bar. It would be terrible of me to head back to my real home right now and I knew I had to stay for the other guys. I took a seat and ordered a soda, I can't drink either since I'm driving. For the whole night I didn't look at Jack and ignored his existence.

After the show ended and everyone was hanging out and talking, I left to take a quick smoke. I sat down against the wall, the cold night breeze hitting my face. It amazed me how I still hated this place so much. It sucked so much seeing Jack once again and I hated fighting with him.

I finished my smoke, got up and threw the butt on the ground. I stomped on it making sure it was put out, just a small paranoia I had. Just as I was about to head into the club I felt a very sharp pain pierce my back. I fell forward in immense pain. I looked to the side to see a pair of shiny Nikes next to my face. The owner leaned down and pulled my face towards his.

"If I can't have you then nobody can." He said cynically before leaving me there with a knife in my back.