Hollow

Raina Matthews doesn’t think that her brother, Dave, is trying to kill her as much as teach her lessons in the most unconventional ways possible.

Sometimes, just sometimes she starts to think that maybe he’s trying to get rid of her. After all, she knows that teenage girls are a handful and that maybe if she wasn’t around then he’d be doing so much better than he is now- but really, that’s not the case at all.

The lesson this week killed two birds with one stone, it taught her to “not fuck with my shit!” and also, to “never, ever, ever- are you fucking listening, Raina?- start doing drugs”. He tells her this at about six fifteen, when he got in this morning. Raina had just lain down after seeing Jamie out, still buzzed and smiling to herself in reminisce of the hilarious evening when she hears the front door slam and not a minute later, her own room door fly open.

Dave is a hypocrite, but it’s for good reasons, really. He just doesn’t want his little sister getting into what he’s gotten into, if that’s at all possible. That keeps him up at night sometimes- wondering what the odds are that she won’t.

“So… Let me get this straight,” Raina says slowly, “You laced your weed with salvia to make me see shit- I got that part- but why would that make me want to stop?”

Dave glares at her, “I didn’t lace my weed for you. It was just laced, and I was trusting that you wouldn’t fucking touch it. It’s not always such a fun trip, though.”

Raina nods and does that “right” thing that she does, and probably every other kid, when they just want someone to stop talking. She tries to end the conversation by throwing her comforter over her head. Dave just groans and the slamming of the door that nearly shakes the walls signals his departure. Raina just wants to sleep and for Dave to stop being such a hypocrite and acting so holier than thou as if she doesn’t know what bought the very bed she sleeps in.

But Dave thinks that she’s defying his authority! And he won’t be treated like that when he raises her and pays the bill, not him... He just doesn’t know what to do about it yet. Discipline was a concept that he still hasn’t become quite comfortable with even after two years of being in legal custody of his younger sister. They were close, really close, as they should be with their circumstances but it caused a thin line to be formed between brother and parent.

Raina puts her hands behind her head and looks up at her ceiling. She gets a little frustrated because she can hear Dave slamming cabinets and stomping around and upsetting the neighbors plus screaming out the patio door at Ms. Caulfield and her go (which actually isn’t too unusual) but it’s as if he thinks that he’s proving something to her. It’s not the noise exactly that’s frustrating her; it’s the slight pang of guilt. She waits for a while and then texts Jamie, because she can’t sleep with it, but he doesn’t reply of course.
Raina wonders when Jamie started smoking. And where and why. Jamie kind of loved the stuff, she knew, and it kind of made her want to like it more than she actually did. It just didn’t seem interesting to her until Jamie- cute Jamie, fucking hot Jamie- moved to the Gardens and started coming around and found out what Dave did. She wonders if Jamie would’ve made friends with her so quickly if Dave wasn’t what he was. It doesn’t bother her really but she tosses and turns until the noises stop.

The apartments at Alice Gardens weren’t big but looking into the Matthew’s home, no one would ever really know. Their things were big and expensive and new it made the small place seem slightly cramped. The furniture didn’t really seem like it belonged in the simple floor plan. It was heavy and shiny and all paid for in cash but most people didn’t see the place. Including its residents because they barely ever left their rooms and Raina went to school during the day and Dave worked…whenever he was called.

“Raina!” Dave calls as soon as he opens the door and Raina groans and rises from her half-sleep immediately.

“Hey Dave, man. Haven’t seen you in a while,” Shawn sounds polite yet rushed, as usual. His breathing a bit rapid as if he’s chased Zach around his apartment when really he was probably just getting dressed. You’d think looking presentable was the only thing in the job description at the office he was constantly in and out of, usually more in than out.

“Shawn,” Dave says and Raina walks out her room to see Dave just walking away, ending the conversation. He doesn’t meet her eyes and slams his bedroom door.

Shawn winces and adjusts Zach in his arms, “Sorry. He’s not usually here.”

Raina shrugs and pushes her mop of curly hair back from her face. “Roar, I’m a lion,” she says and tickles the four year old. “Nah, he’s pissed at me- you’re cool.”

He nods and suddenly remembers his rush. “Right- so, hey, could you watch Zach for a while, please? I know it’s been a lot this week, but- but, god, Raina-“

“Dude, you don’t have to convince me,” she shrugs and plays at pinching at Zach’s cheeks, “This handsome boy has got me sold.”

Zach fluffs her untamed hair as Shawn hands him over before straightening his tie. “Yeah,” he looks down as Raina and smiles, visibly relieved. “Thank you so much, Raina. I can always count on you.”

“Mhm, just start paying me to be your secretary when you become a hot shot lawyer.” She closes the door and Shawn calls through, “Be back at five! Maybe six.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Raina raises her voice as she walks away from the door. Zach never really knows what time he’ll get back. It’s easy though, with Zach, because he doesn’t really do much. She plops him down in front of the TV and puts on his favorite educational show in the DVD player. She gives him the game that goes with it and all he says is “Roar!”- which she counters- before becoming deeply immersed in the game.

She texts Jamie now that it’s after noon and he’s probably up while changes out of her pajamas and she genuinely tries to tame the out of control golden mane that is her hair, though she still couldn’t get her fingers through it after ten minutes. It ends up atop her head in a big, fluffy bun. She shrugs in the mirror and thinks that at least she tried today. A long sigh is let out though and she stays in the mirror for a few minutes poking at her face and making funny expressions and sucking in and letting out her stomach. She tries not to think about it after she turns off the light to her room.

Zach makes a small fuss when she has to turn off the video but still listens to her, as always and she leaves a note on the fridge telling Dave that their heading over to Saffron’s.
Dave is sleeping in his room when the sirens wake him not five minutes after Raina and Zach have left. The ambulance is not even at his building but he still jumps up and throws open Raina’s door and his heart beats so much faster until he sees her note.

He doesn’t know what to do with her and she doesn’t know what she wants to do with herself.