Listen To Your Heart

“I don’t know what you said to him, but he actually showered this morning.” Pat informed me the next day while he, AJ and I were grabbing lunch.
“That’s good. I hope he starts getting his act together. I hate seeing him like this.” I said, picking at my salad.
“He’ll come around. He’s just looking for comfort right now, but he’ll soon realize that it’s not helping him at all.” AJ said, trying to comfort me.
“What he wants is me. And since he can’t have me, he’s going with his second love: whiskey.” I said, animosity in my voice. She sighed and nodded, looking down at her plate.
“You know Jamie, I’ve never really gotten why you won’t forgive him. I mean, I know what he did was horrible, but it’s obvious that he regrets it and that he loves you. I’m not trying to push you; I’m just trying to understand.” She said hesitantly, not wanting to upset me.
“It’s more complicated than that.” I sighed, resting my head in my hands, a bit aggravated. “No one understands. Everyone just thinks I’m a heartless bitch.”
“No! Jamie, I really don’t. I support your decision, whatever it is. He did you dirty, and you have every right to hate him forever and never speak to him again. But I can see that you still love him, and I hate that you’re still hurting.” She said. Pat nodded in agreement next to her. I sighed and nodded, pushing my fork around in my salad, no longer hungry.
“I understand. I’m sorry that you two have to go through this. I’m sorry about all the people that have had to go through this breakup. Especially you Pat, since you’re such good friends with both of us. I hate that I’m causing so many people pain, including myself.” I said, looking up at them sadly.
“Don’t worry about us, or anyone else for that matter. Just worry about you, okay? Focus on Jamie.” AJ said. I nodded and the conversation ended. AJ and Pat talked quietly amongst themselves while I stared at my salad. I was sick of talking. Everyone always wanted to talk. I was tired of explaining myself. People just needed to trust that I knew what I was doing.
Even if I didn’t.
We went back to the venue after lunch, and I started assembling the crew to go over what needed to get done before the show tonight. After everyone had their assignments, I sent them on their way. I was walking around backstage when I turned a corner and bumped into a body. The smell of alcohol hit me before I could even look up and saw John looking down at me. He looked better, cleaner at least.
“Sorry.” I mumbled, looking back down.
“It’s okay.” He said. “Do I, um, look presentable?” He asked. I nodded.
“Yes. Much better. Thank you. But from the stench radiating off you, I see that you have not stopped drinking. Just remember what I said.” I warned.
“I know. No being drunk on stage or in front of fans. I won’t.” He promised. I nodded.
“Good. Well I’ll see you tonight then.” I told him, side stepping around him.
“See ya.” He mumbled as I walked away. I shook my head, thinking of how stupid he was being. I made my way into the hallway filled with doors to the guy’s dressing rooms. They were all most likely empty at this point, since it was hours until the show. I decided to use the bathroom that I knew were in each room. I opened the first door that I came to and stepped inside before jumping out of my skin in surprise.
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, looking at the two people making out against the wall near the door. It was Pat and AJ. It wasn’t like the gross kind of kissing, but the really sweet and cute kind. But they jumped apart at the sound of my voice.
“Uhhhhhh.” AJ stuttered, blushing bright red as she looked between me and Pat.
“Hi…” Pat said, blushing just as red as AJ. A huge grin grew on my face.
“Well, I see that I am interrupting something. I’ll just go then. You two continue whatever it was you two were doing. We can talk about this later.” I said as I backed out the doorway and closed the door quickly. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I walked back down the hallway. I was glad that my two best friends had found each other, and had finally gotten the guts to make something of it. I was glad that at least some of us could be happy.