We've Got Our Heads Above The Clouds.

When I woke up, I was laying beside my laptop, my head on a pillow in front of it with the fingers on my left hand still splayed across the keyboard. Looking up, the first thing I noticed was my girlfriend.

Skype was still up on the computer screen, her hair fanning out around her head as she slept the same way I had, on her stomach facing the computer. We'd stayed up so that she could help me pack and tell me what to bring, but after that we'd ended up just talking, talking and laughing with an edge of nervousness that was ever present. Today I'd be leaving; today I'd see her.

Pressing a kiss to my fingertips and touching the screen, I left her sleeping form and stood up, stretching and yawning. The alarm blared annoyingly on my dresser, and I smacked it off as I walked towards the shower, stripping as I went. I only had an hour to get ready before I had to leave, and then a half hour to get to the airport where I would spend a half hour waiting and--hopefully--eating breakfast before departure.

The shower was quick, after which I stood out of camera range and dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie, going for comfort but also hoping to make a good impression. It was the first time I would see Spencer in person, and the first time she'd see me; I didn't want her to think she'd made a mistake.

Of course, Spence would probably have hit me for even thinking that.

She's violent.

When I was dressed and my hair brushed out, I looked at the camera again to find my beautiful girl sitting up, rubbing her eyes and yawning cutely. "Morning Jamie," she said, her voice thick with sleep. Her bubblegum pink hair was all over the place, green eyes heavily lidded as she looked into the camera, smiling with that smile that isn't quite aware, isn't quite awake yet.

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. I wanted to wake up next to her every single day for the rest of my life.

Unable to keep a smile off my face, I blew her a kiss. "Go back to sleep, little sleepyhead. You don't have to wake up for another few hours, at least."

Spencer frowned, an adorable pout slipping onto her lips and making me chuckle. "But I wanted to say goodbye before you left."

How could I say no to that? "You're too cute, Spencer-bee," I murmured, wishing so badly that I could kiss her nose. She smiled at my words, her whole face lighting up, those bright green eyes I fell in love with over and over shining in the dim sunlight streaming in through her window.

"I love you, Jamie."

My heartbeat stuttered every time I heard those words. "I love you too, Spencer."



Waking up, my memory was vague. I was fairly sure that I'd woken up that morning to say goodbye to Jamie before he left, and that whatever we'd talked about had made me happy, but I couldn't remember it anymore. The clock said 12:07pm; I had about twenty minutes to get ready.

"Shit!" I shouted to no one, scrambling out of bed and rushing to the shower, taking barely seven minutes to wash my hair and body before I was out again, running a brush furiously through my hair as I attempted to put on my shorts. Unfortunately, my love of tight jeans, including jean shorts, required two hands to pull them up, and I lost about thirty seconds trying with only one. Still, I was fairly certain I'd still leave in time.

I really didn't want to be late for the most important day of my life so far.

After I managed to change into some clothes, I dried my bangs and straightened them, letting the rest of my hair wave up because I didn't have time to fix it. With five minutes to go, I put on some mascara and grabbed a bagel before heading out the door of my apartment and towards my car.

I didn't live far from the airport, but I wanted to get there before the scheduled arrival time just to be safe. Plus the fact that I was so nervous and excited to see him that I was shaking all over.

Two years had gone by since Jamie had asked me out. Two years spent waiting, wanting, yearning, pining. Sometimes the heartache was indescribable, overwhelming me to the point of aching sobs that destroyed me for hours. But somehow through all that shit we'd done it. We'd gotten through two years of not seeing each other, of not touching, of never seeing each other's faces in person.

My fingers trembled with a mix of nervousness, excitement, and need. After two years it had gone beyond anything but need.

A red light blared in front of me, forcing me to stop; I took the opportunity to get out my camera. I'd meant to make a video before I left, but seeing as I was running late I would have to make due with a car one.

I stuck the camera onto my dashboard and turned it on, the little red "record" light flashing on. Taking a deep breath, I began to speak, trying to convey in simple words the way I felt in this moment.

"Hey, guys! Um, so right now I'm in the car, on the way to the airport to pick up Jamie. If the flight hasn't been delayed, which I hope it hasn't, I should be seeing him in about twenty minutes." Biting my lip and fighting to keep from blushing at the thought of seeing him, I continued.

"I brought my tripod with me, so I'll be setting up the camera and recording our meeting since you guys were so insistent. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm shaking right now. I feel like I'm going to melt into a puddle or something... I just... It's amazing. I feel like I can't breathe but I'm breathing better than I ever have in my life.

It doesn't even seem possible that this is happening. And... I don't know, I guess it wont until I see him."

I was crying, tears slipping down my cheeks like little rivers. "Damn it," I muttered, taking a hand off the wheel to wipe my eyes in an attempt to continue driving and not hit anything. "I suppose I'll be crying a lot today," I joked, laughing weakly.

"Well, I guess there isn't much more to say. I mean, I just. I don't. I mean. God, since when do I stumble over my words this much? I'm such a faggot. Actually, I'm pulling up to the airport, so I really do need to cut this short. But um, I love you Tumblr. I'll see you all later I guess."

I managed to turn off the record button before I got to the tollbooth, at which point I paid the man fifteen dollars to park for thirty minutes. Fucking injustice.

Parking didn't take long, and soon I was out of the car, grabbing my bag and pressing "Send to Tumblr" on the screen of my camera. It had a share button, and I knew without a doubt that I wouldn't be getting online any time soon, so it was the best possible idea.

With each step I took towards the gate, my feet got heavier. By the time I was on the escalator I couldn't have taken a step if I'd wanted to. I was shaking all over, my nerves overpowering me and turning all my thought processors into jelly.

All my insecurities came rushing down as the moment finally became real.

What if he comes and he realizes I'm ugly? What if he's disappointed? What if something happens once he ships his stuff here and he leaves? Would I be able to survive without him? Will he hate me in person? Will I hate him in person? What's going to happen? Why didn't I wear more make up? Shit, fuck, shit.

That was my life for the next ten minutes.

Then I could see that the plane was on time, and the excitement wiped away my worries. I would have time to worry later; for now I just needed to get ready.

With shaking hands I walked until I was directly in front of the exit for his gate, setting up my tripod and fitting my camera onto it. The tripod was about as high as my chest, giving a good enough view of what was going on. After testing a few effects and white balances I decided on how I was going to tape it and waited, for what seemed like hours, until the minute hand hit 1:10. I pressed the record button and stepped around the tripod.

I was standing next to it, but now that it was recording I couldn't help but feel awkward, even if the camera couldn't see me. I began to speak, nervous babble falling out my mouth like a waterfall.

"Oh my god, he's here. The plane touched down, it says on the board. Shit, shit, shit. I bet he's gonna be out soon. Fuck. What am I supposed to do? I bet I'll be scared and hide. Fuck having pink hair; he'll see me immediately. I am so screwed, Jesus Christ. I really hope he doesn't hate me."

A flash of sleek black hair over the head of an old man caused my breath to catch.

"Fuck! Is that him? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking fuck. Oh my god, oh my god." I was hyperventilating, shaking so bad I thought I would collapse. I knew it was him; I caught a flash of his OBEY hoodie when the man in front of him turned to speak to his wife. I just knew deep down that it had to be him.

I felt like I was burning up, sticking to the ground and unable to move yet unable to prevent myself as my feet carried me forward, slowly at first then faster as his face came into view, until I was running, not caring who saw or who was in my way.

He came out of the threshold like some fucking angel, dropping his bag and holding his arms out just in time for me to crash into him, wrapping my legs around his waist and just holding him.

"James," I whispered into the soft material of his hoodie, leaning back so I could see his face as he smiled at me. I kissed his cheeks, his nose, his eyes, his jawline, all the while chanting his name like some crazy prayer.

"I love you, James Hawkings."



She smelled floral, somehow, like roses and freshly mowed grass. Her hair was soft against my skin as I held her up, her voice whispering my name and making my whole body freeze. Then her lips were on my face, my jaw, my neck, and I was fighting not to make a sound. Any touch from her was amplified by a thousand.

She pulled away from me, the vibrant green of her eyes staring at my plain, boring brown ones. "I love you, James Hawkings," she said, her eyes never leaving mine.

In that moment I fell in love with her all over again.

She was light enough that I could have stood there like that for hours, but unfortunately I figured we'd be asked to leave soon if I did. With a sigh of regret, I set her gently on her feet, kissing her forehead and replying, "I love you too."

Spencer smiled at me, and it was that smile that I realized kept me going. If someone blew out my brain and stopped my heart, as long as she still smiled I would live through that.

Then again, I hope that if that happened she wouldn't be smiling.

Shaking my head to clear the medley of thoughts coursing through it, I picked up my shoulder bag and slipped it on, linking my fingers with hers as we walked back towards the camera.

Just as we were halfway there, Spencer stopped, her hand tugging me until I stopped too.

"What's wrong, love?"

She pouted her adorable, puppy dog pout at me, coming close enough that our chests brushed together. "I didn't get a kiss," she said.

I fought my chuckle down, settling on a smirk to contain the laughter as I poked her forehead. "You did so."

Her frown deepened; it was so cute it was painful not to smile. "I want a real one," she complained, getting up on her tip toes and bringing her face within inches of mine.

Unfortunately I was tall enough that it wasn't enough. What was fortunate, for her anyway, was that I'd been waiting two years to kiss her. I wasn't planning on prolonging that wait any more.

So instead of teasing I simply pressed my lips to hers, fighting not to moan at the way it felt to kiss her, to wrap my arms around her waist and crush her body to mine, when her fingers ran through my hair. Her teeth worried over my bottom lip for a moment and I pulled away, gasping for air as we breathed in sync.

"Very real," she murmured, her lips still inches away from my own.

"Too real, maybe," I replied, still feeling the way my mouth tingled after meeting hers.

"Let's go home," she said, leaning back onto her heels for a moment so that she was no longer on her tip toes. For a moment I was cloudy, but then she poked my stomach and I laughed.

We walked together, hand and hand out of the airport, with the sun smiling down on us.