Once Upon a Time

I step out of the bathroom and I look up at my sister, Kim, with tears streaming down my face. She runs over and pulls me into a hug. She rubs my back, trying to calm me down, but all I can do is cry. How did this happen to me? How could I let this happen to Noah? I know that this mom loves Grace, but she doesn’t want another grandchild. Not so soon. I definitely don’t need a baby right now either. What am I going to do about college? What is Noah going to think? He has Grace, with Celeste, and now he’s going to have a baby with me too.

“What am I going to do?” I cry.

“Shh…” Kim says softly, patting my back. She lets go of me then and looks me in my eye. “Don’t even worry about it just yet. Maybe it was a false positive.” She gets up and grabs her purse. “Come on, we’re going to the doctor.”

“You can’t just go to the doctor whenever you feel like it, you have to make an appointment.”

“Fine, then,” she huffs. “I’ll call Brian right now and get his dad to squeeze us in somewhere.” Brian is Kim’s husband, and his dad is the chief of surgery.”

I shake my head, my cheeks burning. “I don’t want to go to his dad. That would be weird.”

“Not so he can check you out, just slide you in somewhere,” she says, looking at me like I’m stupid. “Now, come on, this is serious.”

“I don’t think I want to know.” I tell her, panicked.

She pulls out her phone and presses a button. She grabs my hand and pulls me out to the car, talking to Brian on the way, explaining to him that it’s a ‘huge fucking emergency’ which scares me even more.

She gets in the car and hangs up. I slide in the passenger side and she looks over at me as she starts up the car and back down the driveway.

“Doesn’t this mean that he had sex with you when you didn’t remember him?” she asks.

I nod. “I think so, but I don’t remember.”

“Well I’m ninety-eight percent positive you didn’t sleep with anybody else, but I’d call Erin and double-check before you tell Noah he’s the father.”

I stare at her, shocked. “Of course it’s his baby. I wouldn’t have sex with anyone else.”

“You don’t know that,” she tells me. “You’ve had amnesia, and now you can’t remember ever having amnesia.”

“You aren’t making me feel any better,” I snap.

“Well, I’m sorry,” she huffs.

“Why can’t you try and keep my mind off of it?” I ask her.

“Is anything going to take your mind off the fact that you might be pregnant?” she demands curtly.

“No,” I admit. “I’m scared, Kim. I’m too young for this, and Noah has Grace, he doesn’t need a baby from me.”

She shakes her head. “He loves Grace, and he loves you, so I’m sure he’d love having a child with you.”

“I don’t think love is the appropriate word to describe how he’s going to feel. I think he’ll love the baby, but I don’t know… I think that maybe after time he’ll get used to it, but not at first. How could he? He’s never had a pregnant girlfriend. What if he hates me?”

She laughs. “He’s not going to hate you. Sometimes he might not like you, but he’s still going to love you. And what are you talking about he’s never had a pregnant girlfriend?” she asks. “He had Celeste.”

I shake my head. “She left. They weren’t together when she had the baby. He didn’t even know that she was pregnant.”

“Well, she was awful. But you two can get through this. Having a baby is one of the best experiences in the world.”

I look over at her skeptically.

“Note that nowhere in that comment did I say that it wasn’t the most painful experience.”

I frown. “How painful? On a scale of one to ten?”

She looks over at me with dead eyes. “Do you remember the first time you had sex? How it hurt a little?” she asks. I nod. “Well this isn’t a dick, it’s a baby, another human being ripping its way out of your vagina. That’s all I’m going to say on the subject.”

I flinch and then groan.

Seriously, how did this happen

*************

Well, I’m definitely pregnant. I don’t know what to think. I’m actually not really thinking about anything right now. I’m working on being numb, so that I can’t feel anything. If I could, I know that I would be freaking out, and that’s not going to benefit me right now. I just need to calm down before I let myself think about it.

I need to call Erin, but I don’t know how she would take it, and I don’t want Noah to be the last to know. But Erin would be pissed if she was the last to know. And you know who else hasn’t been informed of this? My parents. After I got back from the doctor I came straight in and took a shower. I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my stomach for about a half hour, trying not to cry. Now I’m lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I’m trying to think of how to tell them. Kim said that I should buy them World’s Greatest Grandparent shirts, but they might think that I’m talking about Grace, since I do consider her my child. She then suggested that I giftwrap the pregnancy test and give that to them. That sounds a little gross – besides, I already threw it away.

My phone has been buzzing ever since I got home and I know that Noah’s been trying to reach me. Even his mom has called me a few times. He’s probably worried because he thinks I’m sick since I rushed out of his place this morning without telling him anything.

There’s a knock on my bedroom door and I grunt in response, pulling my pillow over my head. “Go away,” I say to whoever is on the other side of the door. I hear it being pushed open. “I said go away.”

“Teagan?” A voice asks tentatively. I tense. “Are you okay?”

He sits on my bed and rubs my shoulder. I remove the pillow and look up at Noah, whose face is etched with concern.

I nod sadly. “I’ve been better.”

“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Is there anything I can do?”

I shake my head and hold out my arms. He smiles and lays down next to me, wrapping his arms securely around me and resting his chin on the top of my head.

“I love you, Teagan,” he whispers. “I was worried about you. Why didn’t you answer when I called you?”

“I don’t know,” I mumble against his chest. “I didn’t feel like talking.”

“Well I needed to talk to you about something.”

“What?” I ask, pulling away to look up at him.

“They rescheduled the hearing for Friday, so it looks like I won’t make it to your graduation.”

I pout. “And I don’t get to go with you.”

He kisses me lightly on the lips and then pulls away abruptly. “Should I have done that?”

“What do you mean?” I ask him.

“Aren’t you sick?” he asks, putting a hand to my forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

I smile slightly. I love it when he babies me. It’s cute. “I’m not sick, I just… I wasn’t feeling good. You’re fine.”

He grins and leans in again, kissing me a little more firmly. I let him go on for a minute before I stop him. I feel bad not telling him now, but I think maybe I should wait until this weekend. He has enough to deal with right now, since Celeste is suing him for custody of Grace. I don’t want to give him something else to worry about.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Nothing. I just have a headache,” I answer. He stares at me for a long second, and I can tell he thinks I’m lying… or keeping something from him. “So, where’s Grace?” I ask him now, trying desperately to change the subject.

“She’s downstairs with your parents.”

I smile. “They really love her.”

He smiles back at me. “That’s what being family is all about.”

Family, I think, mentally sighing. Little does he know, we’re going to have an addition soon enough.