I'm Not Saying That I'm Not Breaking Some Hearts Tonight

Game cube got boring, and fast. Gerard didn’t ask Kaitlin to leave, and he had no intentions to. They decided to rent a bunch of scary movies and watch them in the dark, because there wasn’t anything better to do. They would scream and jump whenever something scary happened, then laugh at each other after realizing how stupid they were acting. The first movie was scary, but it looked like a sesame street video compared to the second one. Kaitlin (and Gerard, but he was hiding it) was scared shitless. They’d scream and jump and not laugh. Gerard looked over at Kaitlin; her face was in her hands.

“Want me to shut it off?” he asked, concerned. She lifted her head.

“No! Then we’ll never know if they get out of the house alive,” she said smiling at him. He smiled back. They looked at the TV, one guy was getting murdered with a cheese grater and well, it wasn’t pretty. Gerard was having a hard time looking; Kaitlin was hidden under the blanket they were sharing. She took a look and it was a huge mistake, she jumped and hid her face in his chest. Even thought she was shaking hysterically and piercing screams came from the speakers, everything seemed okay. Gerard couldn’t help but smile.

“Turn it off!” she shouted, clutching on to his shirt. He didn’t want to, she’d let go of him. He shook his head, what the fuck was he thinking? This was Mikey’s girlfriend, even though he treated her like shit she would always be Mikey’s. “Gerard!” she said, poking him in the chest. He picked up the remote and turned off the TV. She lifted her head.

“Oh my god, that was the grossest, scariest, creepiest movie ever.” Gerard smiled. “Like whoever made that movie needs serious psychoanalysis right now.” Gerard let out a soft chuckle. Pieces of her hair were in her face, he wanted to reach out and brush it away from her eyes. The front door opened, and it was Mikey. He walked in and stood awkwardly staring at the pair of them. Kaitlin waved.

“Hey hun,” she said. Gerard wanted to slap some common sense into her. How could someone be so smart and be completely oblivious to something that was so obvious? Mikey gave a half smiled. Gerard got up, and announced he was going to Emma’s. He didn’t want to but, he figured he would have to sometime. It hurt too much to think about her. To think about how bad things had gotten in the end when they were so good in the beginning. He was thinking of breaking up with her, which was probably for the better, but it would kill him none the less. He said it and he hoped it hurt Kaitlin, as much as it hurt him to see her smile at Mikey like that. Mikey, his brother, this really had to stop he said, as he scratched his forehead. Was it possible to be in love with two people? No, he wasn’t in love with Kaitlin, at all. He was…in lust. Yeah, that was it. She was amazingly good looking, so yeah that was all it was. His announcement that he was going to Emma’s didn’t seem to faze her, but why should it? Gerard left. Kaitlin got up and fixed her hair that was messed up from hiding under a blanket. She wrapped her arms around Mikey’s neck, and he barely touched her waist. Everything is going so good, she thought, why do you have to fuck it up now?

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“What were you doing with my brother?” he asked, rudely. Was he fucking serious?

“We were watching some movies.”

“TVs off,” said Mikey, eyes hard.

“It was really scary, we turned it off and you walked in the next second.”

“You spend a lot of time with him.”

“Well, you’re never here, what do you want me to do? Sit home and knit?”

“I don’t want you fucking my brother,” he said, his voice raising.

“What?! You think we were having sex? Are you crazy?”

“What else do you want me to think?”

“Maybe, I’m lonely! Maybe I was at your house looking for you, my boyfriend, but you weren’t here so I just hung out with Gerard. Who would you rather me hang out with? Frank? Bob? Cause I’d fuck them!” Mikey didn’t answer, he just glared at her. “I really can’t believe you.”

“I can’t believe you,” he snapped at her.

“I didn’t do anything!” she said outraged. Mikey crossed his arms across his chest. “Okay, Mikey. Once you decided to stop being a complete asshole, give me a call.” And with that she stormed out of the house. Mikey highly doubted that they were sleeping together, Kaitlin would never do that, not after what she had been through, and Gerard would never do that to him. He was just really angry at everything and everyone and took it out on Kaitlin. He’d call her in the morning, hopefully she’d get over it by then, and if not, he’d call Jenna.
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Gerard got into his car and drove to Emma’s apartment. He sat in the parking lot for about 10 minutes, thinking of what to say. They would talk. Yes, because a part of Gerard did love her…or the person she was…or the person he thought she was. He sighed and rubbed his face. He’d have to talk to her sooner or later and he figured now would be a good time. He walked up to her room and knocked on the door, no answer. He knocked again, nothing. Gerard twisted the handle and on the door and it opened, it was unlocked, something was defiantly wrong. He grabbed an umbrella from the hall closet, careful not to make a sound. He tiptoed around her apartment and heard laughter, her laughter. Gerard stopped and actually noticed music playing, kind of awkward music that he didn’t listen to that usually played in restaurants. He heard her laughing again and walked closer to the bedroom. He heard kissing, evidently not on her lips because she was giggling. He clenched his fists, ready to beat the shit out of the son of a bitch sleeping with his girlfriend. He burst into the room, and stopped dead in his tracks.

“Emma?” he whispered.

“Gerard!” she said. She got out of the bed. He pointed at the bed, speechless.

“Wha? You-you-you lesbian,” he said, still not speaking in at a normal volume. Gerard wasn’t the least bit homophobic. He supported gays and lesbians 100 percent and he was all for gay marriages, but he would rather that his girlfriend not partake in any lesbian relationships. He stood there shocked. This was absolutely the last thing he saw coming; as a matter of fact, this never even crossed his mind.

“Gerard?” she said, afraid he would lash out at any second.

“Truthfully, I would have wanted you to fuck a guy, then maybe this wouldn't hurt so much,” he said, his voice breaking. She stood there, not knowing what to say or do. “This is just, embarrassing, and I’m a bit in shock. I was in love with you; I AM in love with you. I just…I…I love you Emma.” That’s when he realized that no matter how obvious something maybe, you would never want to think that the person you loved was ever capable of hurting you so badly. He shook his head and turned to leave; Emma didn’t follow him or try to stop him. Gerard got into his car and started bawling. He really did love her, a lot. Toward the end of their relationship, things weren’t as great, but he still loved her. He remembered they used to walk in the park or along the beach for hours, just talking. These old memories, this new pain, all made him cry harder.