Come With Me

Ian’s friend, Jocko, yelled at the teacher, causing Ian to yell into his hands. I felt really bad for him, it’s my fault he’s like this. It’s my fault his Dad yells at him, bullying him, all because Ian chose his sexuality. Thank God my parents aren’t homophobic. I talked things over with mum, you know things with Gavin, Ian and I. She told me to follow my heart, I just don’t know who to choose. I love Ian and Gavin. That’s what made it so hard to choose between them. I don’t know about Ian, but Gav expects me to choose between them, I hope Ian isn’t like that.

I found myself rubbing my hand on his shoulder, I didn’t know why but hey ho. Maybe it was because I felt really bad for him? I just don’t know. I’m innocent – no I’m not innocent, I’m the reason we’re in this mess. I fucked up big time. It’s not Gavin’s, not Ian’s. Mine. All my fault.

Ian turned round to look at me. His eyes were full of tears, ready to flow freely. But they didn’t.”Why are you doing this?” He spat. It hurt how he said it. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. Hoping that he would take an apology. “You’re fucking sorry? No, you’re not. You’re fucking ecstatic.” That hurt. I picked up my bag and my crutches and waddled stormed out of the classroom. He hurt me now. I deserved it though.

It was last period, so I don’t think anyone would care. I just stormed out of the school. I walked straight home, thank the bearded lord that mum wasn’t home. She would kill me for not being in last period. I would be grounded for bunking and mum NEVER grounds me. I’m just the worst perfect child in her eyes. Maybe she’ll see me for the devil I really am. She won’t though it’s shaming.

Two hours later I was in my room, collapsed on my bed crying my eyes out. Crying over Ian, crying over the fact that Gav expected me to choose, Ian or him? I just can’t. Why can’t I? Maybe I was just getting in the road of their happiness. Maybe, just maybe.

“Sean? You home?” I heard mum yell up the stairs. When I didn’t answer that’s when she made her way upstairs. She knew I was home, just thought that I was sleeping most likely. “Baby?” She asked. I just grumbled, what sounded something like – ‘Go Away!’ I don’t think she heard me because she just sat down beside me. Really mother? Fuck off.

“The school phoned. Said you walked right out of last period. Why was that baby? I’m not mad, yet. Just tell me why.” She smiled rubbing her hand down my back. “No. I won’t tell you.” I whined, hoping that she would get the message and just leave me alone! “Boy troubles?” She then asked. I nodded. “I’m dealing with a teenage girl.” She joked. I just sat up and looked at her. “Aw come on baby boy. I love you, even if no other guy will.” She whispered pulling me into a hug. I knew I could count on mum when things were bad between me and boyfriends. “How bout we go make you a cup of tea and some shortbread...?” Shortbread. I love shortbread! I quickly nodded as she motioned for me to come downstairs to help make it with her.

Mum and I were sitting watching Pearl Harbour eating shortbread and drinking masses amounts of tea. You see, I can’t drink coffee or hot chocolate without nearly spewing up. I hate that fact... The phoned started ringing and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I’ve been doing that a lot... “I guess I’ll get it.” Mum joked. She knew fine well that I couldn’t get it.

15 minutes later she came back and sat next to me. “You’re cousin Rachael is coming round on Saturday. B e happy.” She smiled, so did I mind you. I loved hanging out with Rachael. She’s like an awesome girl, she loves most of the same kind of bands as me. Plus she knew before Gav that I was gay. She accepted it. She knew about the love triangle I’m in as well... Hopefully she can help Saturday...

After the film mum made me go to bed. It’s a Thursday night, so that means school tomorrow. She knew fine well that I didn’t want to go tomorrow- but sadly I have to. “Come on Seanny Bonny.” Dad walked in calling me Seanny Bonny, I’ve been called that ever since I can remember. It doesn’t bother me to be honest.

I shook my head, not wanting to go to bed. Dad simply picked me up then took me upstairs. “Put meh down Daddeh!” I whined. I think I’m either to tired, or have had far too much shortbread. I never ever call my dad ‘Daddeh’... Even he notices that. “Evie? Did you give him shortbread?” He called down to mum. “Yeah, why?” She called back up. “He’s had far too much of it!” I giggled as he lay me down in my bed. “Dis is comfy.” Dad shook his head then went out of my room. I’m acting like a flipping 5 year old!

I think I fell asleep within 5 minutes of being in my room. I woke up in the same clothes as last night and it was 6.00am, I’M NEVER UP AT THAT TIME! Oh well. I just got up and had a shower, covering my cast with a bin bag. How attractive.

“Sean! Where’d you go yesterday?!” Rhys asked running up towards me. “Er, I just went home. I was too tired to do anything yesterday. Sorry.” I mumbled hoping that he would just leave me alone. No such luck. He went around with me like a lost puppy. Argh. I have English first... English with Ian. Shit. I’m sooo looking forward to this...