Status: On hiatus

It's You, I Suppose

Please Tell Me Why

His grey eyes watched me from across our table in the back of the room. I shifted my papers and tried not to notice, but as I continued to work through the Roman Empire, I couldn't help but feel unnerved by his intense stare. Rolling my eyes up to look at him, I caught my breath when he smiled.

"What?" I hissed and turned back to my notes. "You've been creeping on me all hour."

His smile turned into a smirk. "You know it's what I do," he told me, even though I already knew it to be true.  Matt could be creepy, although as I looked into his hooded eyes I found myself thinking how sexy he was when he starred at me. 

Realizing what I was thinking I instantly blushed and felt a guilt deep within my heart. It was Luke that I should have been thinking those thoughts about, not Matt. 

But it could have been Matt...

It should have been Matt...

As if he sensed my guilt, Matt pushed his chair back from the table, the legs scratching against the tile floor. Ms. Formell glared at him from her desk at the front of the room, but he didn't even flinch. Instead, he locked his eyes with mine. For what seemed like minutes we were frozen, trying to understand one another. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, but the intensity was even more so than if he had shouted for the whole class to know. His apology didn't phase me, I had heard it before. This time wasn't different, but something about this one made me stop.

"You keep saying that," I told him, trying to mirror his emotion in my voice. "If you really mean it, why didn't you take me while you could of?" 

He didn't answer at first. I hadn't asked him that question before, despite it always being on the tip of my tongue. There were a lot of questions I hadn't asked him since...since that night.

"It's complicated," he said dropping his voice even lower, an anger entering it that I hadn't been expecting. "Me and you..."

Suddenly, as if fate were conspiring against me once again, the bell rang, cutting Matt off and leaving me hanging on for the rest of his explanation that never came. He closed his mouth, blinked, breaking the connection we had, the connection that would have explained everything. He spun on his conversed heels and walked out of the classroom with a speed I hadn't thought possible.

Blinking, I tried to sort out what had just happened. With Matt, it was as if there was a secret switch only I could flip. One minute we would be fine, pretending our past had never happened, and suddenly the next moment would have him angry and emotional. The problem was, I didn't have the slightest clue what triggered it.

Packing my backpack and then shouldering it, I made my way out of the classroom and into the crowed halls. I looked around, feeling a little dazed, and wished that I could bury these feelings forever. 

Why you Matt, I wondered as I blindly walked out of the present and into the past, where a memory was already waiting for me.