Art Is Dead

I jotted down a few words on a spare receipt that I found on the counter. I heard some shuffling, and looked up to find a young man browsing through a rack of sweaters. I stuffed the receipt into my pocket and stood up from the stool that I had been perched on.

"Can I help you find anything?" Even as I asked the question, I hated myself for it. I loathed overly-friendly salespeople, and I despised the fact that my job had caused me to become one.

The guy looked up and brushed his light hair off of his face. "No, I'm just browsing, thanks."

I forced a fake smile. "Let me know if you need anything."

I sat back down and logged in to the store's computer system. I began to sort through the clothes that needed to be put back on the racks, trying to look busy. That was the rule; always look busy. I hung up a pair of jeans near the store's only customer, and he gave me a small grin.

"It must suck having to work on a Saturday," he commented.

I shrugged, trying my best to keep up small talk with him. "Usually it's not so bad. Then again, usually it's busy. I'm kind of glad that you came in. I can at least pretend to be helping you if my boss shows up."

"Well, in that case, would you consider being my personal shopper until someone else more worthy of your attention shows up?"

To my surprise, a legitimate smile broke across my face. This guy was cute. "I'm all yours," I chuckled.

He held up a tee shirt. "Is red my colour?"

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. He had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was tall and scrawny, but not in an unfortunate way. Overall, he was far and away more attractive than my most recent ex. "That particular shade is not so flattering. Maybe this one?" I reached past him and grabbed a hanger.

The guy held it up to his chest and looked at me as if he were asking for my approval. I nodded my head.

"That's much better."

"But is it something that I should wear tonight?"

I gave him a puzzled look. "What's tonight? Do you have a big date?"

"No," he looked faintly sad at the thought. "Actually, I just split up with my girlfriend. I have to work, is all."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, immediately feeling flustered.

"What? No, it's okay. Don't worry about it," he waved me off, but he still looked away and searched for a distraction. "What's the deal with this hoodie?"

I took the article of clothing from him and looked at it. "I don't know, it's supposed to be the new style. I think it looks like a really fucked up collar, to be honest. Woops, sorry, I shouldn't swear at work. It's just kind of a habit when I'm around someone my own age. Did I offend you?"

He laughed. "Fuck no!"

I let out a breath of relief. "Oh, good. But seriously, I think that sweater is ugly. Put it back. I couldn't let you pay money for that and still feel good about myself. Why don't you try this one?" I turned around and headed to the front of the store, where I pulled a hoodie from a display that I had made earlier in my shift. "If it's not your style, that's cool. This one is my favourite in the store right now."

He studied the garment for a moment, then grinned. "Actually, I like that. Can I take you everywhere, personal shopper?"

I smiled and handed him his proper size. "As much as I would like to take you up on your offer, I have to stay here and make some money. Life isn't cheap, you know."

He accepted the sweater from me and folded it over his arm, along with the tee shirt. "So I've heard. Is there anything else here that's worth looking at?"

"Knock yourself out," I shrugged. "It's just your average clothing store."

"That's where you're wrong," he said. "I quite like this store. I've never had a personal shopper before. Come on, let's look over here."

I followed him back toward the cash register, where he got distracted by a belt rack. I spent the next hour going through every item in the men's section of the store. Occasionally, I had to offer assistance to some other customer or ring up a purchase, but for the most part I was alone with him. I really liked hanging out with him. He was a lot of fun.

"I think you bought half of the store," I told him as I began to scan the tags on his purchases.

"Any chance I can get the friends and family discount?" he gave me an exaggerated wink.

"Only if you're really super nice to me," I replied.

"Haven't I been perfectly entertaining for the last," he paused to glance at his watch, "hour? Seriously? I feel like I just came in here. Thanks for wasting so much time with me."

"Don't mention it," I waved him off. "I had fun. It was better than whatever else I would have had to do if you weren't here."

"Good. I'd say with a reaction like that, I'm practically a friend. And slash or family," he hinted.

I gave in. "Okay, fine. But don't tell anyone. As much as I hate this job sometimes, I would really like to keep it."

"Seriously? Wow, you're the best! You're pretty much my new best friend."

"I get that a lot," I joked.

He paid for his clothing and I handed him a plastic bag. I felt almost sorrowful at the thought of him leaving. He hesitated as he took the bag from my hand.

"Are you busy tonight?"

I froze. My mind began reeling. I was busy. I had plans. Why did I have plans? Why did I have to tell this potentially perfect guy that I couldn't go out with him? Why did I have to meet him today, of all days? "Actually, yeah," I said slowly.

"Oh. That's cool."

"No, it's not like that," I held out a hand as if it would stop him from leaving. "My roommate got tickets to this comedy show... she's been looking forward to it for weeks, I can't ditch her. Some other time, maybe?"

The boy grinned widely. "Yeah, for sure. Can you give me your number? I'll give you a call. Hopefully then you won't have plans."

I tore a fresh piece of receipt paper from the printer and wrote down my cell phone number. "You'd better call. I'll probably feel rejected if you don't."

He continued to smile at me. "I wouldn't want that to happen."

As he turned away, I realized that he didn't even know my name. "Oh, by the way, I'm Nathalie. But call me Nat."

He nodded his head. "Okay. I'll talk to you soon, Nat." With a small wave of his hand, he turned on his heel and left.

I was so giddy from the encounter that I forgot to ask for his name. "Oh well," I murmured to myself. "If he calls, I'll find out his name. Otherwise, it just wasn't meant to be."

I finished my shift and headed across the mall to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet my roommate. I got a table and sat by myself, waiting. By the time she showed up, I had already finished my first drink and ordered an appetizer.

"How was work?" Joanna asked as she sat down across from me. She flipped open her menu and began inspecting it meticulously.

I set down my glass and sighed. "I think I met him."

"Who?" She looked up suddenly, her chestnut eyes demanding an answer.

"The guy of my dreams. He was just so cute and funny and sweet. I didn't want him to leave."

"And you, my friend, just went from adorable to creepy. You can't just keep a guy from leaving. What's his name? What does he do for a living? And most importantly, does he have an equally cute and funny and sweet friend or brother?"

"I don't know. But he has my number. Oh God, I hope he calls."

Joanna looked back down at her menu, tucking her caramel-coloured hair behind her ears. "You're pretty, Nat. He'll call. And if he doesn't, I'll hunt him down myself and force him to. Although that would be rather difficult, considering you know nothing about him."

I felt my cheeks flush in embarassment. "It was like I got hit by a bus. I couldn't think. I could just stare into those icy blue eyes and make some lame attempt at a joke. I even gave him my staff discount."

Joanna slammed her menu down on the table. "What? That's not fair! You don't even let me have that discount! And, on a side note," she added thoughtfully. "Did you know that blue eyes are a genetic mutation?"

"I'm not even going to bother asking how you know these things."

"It's true. Your future husband is nothing but a mutant. I just thought you would like to know that."

I rolled my eyes. "Would you just pick something to eat? We're going to be late for the show if you don't hurry up."

She held up a finger, warning me. "Trust me, Nat, I will not be late for this show. And you will love this comedian. He's so funny. I saw him on Comedy Central a few months ago, and I've been hooked ever since."

We left the restaurant shortly after and walked the short distance to the comedy club in the mall. I had only been there once before, and it was a fairly nice place. We were seated at a table fairly close to the stage, and we ordered our drinks before the lights went down. The curtains opened, and the MC announced the comedian that was about to come on.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and welcome Bo Burnham to the stage!"

I clapped politely as Joanna whistled. Then she wiggled her eyebrows at me in a silent attempt to poke fun at me. She knew that I couldn't whistle, and she found the fact hilarious. I looked away from her and faced the stage, where the main attraction was walking toward center stage. I saw him, and I stopped clapping. My jaw fell open, and I gaped, awestruck. Standing there was a very familiar guy in a very familiar hoodie.

"Hey guys, in case you didn't know my name is Bo, and I'm here to amuse you."

I tapped Joanna's arm. I couldn't tear my eyes off of Bo.

"What is your problem?" she hissed at me. "I'm trying to watch."

"That's him," I said softly. "Bo Burnham is my mystery guy."