Art Is Dead

"Where were you, princess?" Dad asked as my mother and I walked in. The two of us hadn't spoken for the better part of an hour. She was furious with me for keeping Bo a secret. Dad was still blissfully unaware of the situation. He even used the childhood nickname he had given me, which was terribly inaccurate when compared to my personality. He often liked to abuse the fact that I was his only daughter. He imagined me as a prima ballerina, but I had grown up playing hockey with my brothers. I let him keep the image of me that he seemed to hold so dearly.

"Be careful," Mom warned in a biting tone. "You might give him a heart attack."

"I was visiting a friend," I replied hotly, heading upstairs to put my bag in my childhood bedroom. I didn't mean for my frustration to transfer onto my father, but I couldn't help it. I had my mother's temper.

"Who was it?" my brother Kyler called after me. Kyler was closest to me in age, but he and I had never completely seen eye to eye. I was much closer to Marcus, and he wouldn't arrive until the following afternoon. Kyler was in medical school, and he never let me forget that he was smarter than me. Or that he was going to make more money than me. I loved him, but most of the time we were at one another's throats. We were both cursed with the same fiery temper. Marcus was usually a peace keeper for us.

"Fuck off!" I yelled back at him.

"Nathalie, watch your mouth!" Mom screeched. "So help me God, you are not too old for me to throw a bar of soap on your tongue."

"I'm not six years old! I curse. And I also go visit people across international borders!"

"Stop it, all of you!" Dad hollered at the top of his lungs. I trudged back down the stairs, feeling ashamed. I hated it when I upset my dad. He always thought the best of me, even when I didn't deserve it. I sat down on the couch next to him.

"Sorry, Dad. I went to the states to visit this guy I met a couple of months ago. Mom flipped out on me, and I took it a little hard. I'm happy to be home. So could we just forget about this whole thing?"

Kyler scoffed, looking at me as if I were insane. "You expect me to believe that boring old Nat ran across the border to see a boy? Yeah right! Unless it was some guy that was interested in publishing a book for you, that would never happen. It's not your style."

"You don't even know him, Kyler. This is none of your business."

"Then enlighten me," he clasped his hands together and tried to look interested. He tossed his head to get his mop of tousled brown hair out of his eyes. "What's his name? Where does he work? Does he come from a good family?"

Something inside told me that I needed to avoid telling my family that he was a comedian. They were sure to think that I was lying, and that would only cause more issues. "You don't need to know everything about him right now, okay? If it gets serious, then I'll tell you. Otherwise, it's none of your concern."

"Then I'll just refer to him as Mr. Imaginary," Kyler retorted.

"Oh, and I suppose your blow up doll has an entire backstory?"

"Enough!" Dad yelled again. "Nathalie, tell me something. Do you like this boy?"

"Yes," I replied promptly.

"And is he nice? Does he take care of you?"

"Yes."

"Then that's all that matters for now. Let it go, Kyler. I know that you've done things that we wouldn't approve of, so cut your sister some slack."

I smiled. I could always count on Dad to have my back. I had only really ever pissed him off a few times, and he was usually quick to forgive. My father was one of the most easy-going people that I knew. Actually, Bo was kind of like him in that way.

Dad turned to me with a soft, careful smile. "Would I like him?"

"You would love him, Dad. I want him to come and meet everyone soon."

"What's his name?"

"Robert," I answered. For some reason, I was using his full first name in front of my family. Something inside of me thought that he would sound more respectable that way.

"Does he have a last name?" Kyler shot, sounding bitter about the fact that Dad had shut him up.

"Burnham."

"I used to go to school with a Burnham," Dad mused aloud. "Do you think there's any relation?"

I almost laughed out loud. "I really doubt it, Dad. I'd be willing to bet that most of his relatives live in the states. But I'll ask him, just because I know it will bug you if I don't."

"Good. And make sure you bring him around sometime. You know that your brothers are going to drive you crazy until you prove that he's real."

I snorted. "They can think what they want. I know that Bo is real, and that's really all that matters."

"Wait," Kyler held up a hand suddenly, looking at me with dark eyes that glittered maliciously. I knew something bad was about to happen. "You're claiming that your new boyfriend is Bo Burnham? Come on, Nat! You can do better than that. I mean, maybe you guys could double date with me and my new girlfriend, Megan Fox."

My stomach dropped. I hadn't expected anyone in my family to know who Bo was. Kyler definitely thought that I was fabricating my story now. I looked at him with wide eyes, unsure whether to let it go or to fight him on his assumptions. How bad did it look that I was claiming to be dating a celebrity? I cleared my throat loudly.

"I'm pretty sure that Megan Fox is married now," I replied. I knew how lame my response sounded, and that fact didn't slip past my older brother.

"Not so confident now that someone's figured out your ruse, huh? Just because you saw a guy do a stand-up routine, that doesn't mean that you're dating."

"How did you-"

"Your friend Joanna added me on Facebook," he answered smoothly. "She had a countdown to his show going for a month."

I shook my head. "It's not like that, Kyler. I met him at the store, and I had no idea who he was. I gave him my phone number, and one thing led to another. That's all."

"So you expect me to believe that you not only have a boyfriend in a different country, but that it's Bo Burnham?" he looked as if he was having a hard time digesting our conversation.

"I don't expect you to believe anything. Think whatever you want about me, okay?"

"Wait," Mom walked back into the living room from the kitchen. She had tied her long blonde hair up in a loose ponytail, and her brown eyes looked tired. "Who are we talking about? And what does this have to do with Nathalie leaving the country?"

"She's claiming that her boyfriend is a famous comedian," Kyler told her, biting his lip to keep himself from laughing as he awaited her reaction.

"She wasn't in LA or New York," Mom pondered lightly. "So how could she have been visiting a celebrity?"

I groaned as I threw myself back into the couch. "Never mind, it's not important. I didn't want anyone to know who he was, okay? I don't want you guys to treat him any differently than anyone else. It's not like he's even that famous. So far, nobody has recognized him when we've been out together. And it's not like I'm only with him because of what he does for a living. I didn't know who he was when I met him."

Dad adjusted his glasses as he gazed at the TV screen across from us. "Well this was an unexpected twist," he murmured. "But I'm not going to question it. I know that you're probably going to have some money problems in the future, and maybe this boy will be able to help you out with that."

"I'm not going to use him for his money, Dad!" I felt outrage bubbling up in my chest.

"She already told me that he paid for her trip out there to visit him," Mom stated bluntly.

I threw my hands up as I got to my feet. "You guys don't get it. Bo is a nice guy, and I really like him. That's it. End of story. Stop trying to ruin this."

"We aren't trying to ruin anything," Kyler smiled at me and used his most innocent tone. "We're just trying to look out for you, Nat. Tell me, is he as vulgar and sexist off stage as he is during his routine?"

I glared at him. "I'm still perfectly capable of punching you in the face, Kyler," I growled. "You're my brother. You should be there for me."

"Maybe if you didn't make up stories about dating guys who are on TV, then I would be a little more considerate."

"I'm not making this up! Do you want me to call him? Would that fix this?"

"Alright," Mom said loudly, stepping into the middle of the room. "I've heard enough. Nathalie, would you mind starting on dinner? I know you've had a long day, but I could use the help. Kyler, give it a rest. You'll meet your sister's boyfriend when she's ready to bring him home. Until then, stop pestering her for information. It won't change anything, one way or the other. And Dwight, she's well aware of how much her chosen career will pay. Don't try and persuade her to take advantage of this boy. Have I covered it all?"

I nodded and walked past her. "Thanks," I muttered, just loud enough that she could hear. I was incredibly glad that I hadn't tried to convince Bo to come home with me for Christmas. I should have known that Kyler would behave like this. It seemed like every time we got together, we had to have one good fight before we could be friendly. I knew that after tonight we would be able to go on about our lives as if this argument hadn't happened. I also knew that part of that would be because Marcus would be home. Marcus wouldn't judge me for dating Bo the way that Kyler did. Marcus would believe me.

After Mom's intervention, everything seemed to calm down inside of the house. That was how it usually was. Every single person in my family had a strong personality, and it was only natural for us to attack one another every now and then. But after all was said and done, we would kill for each other. That was how family was supposed to work.

Bo and I texted for awhile later that night about the possibility of him coming to visit me for New Years. Unfortunately, I was so jet-lagged that I passed out before we figured anything out. I knew that the next few days were going to be chaotic enough without planning the details of a possible houseguest.