Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

“Jord,” I whispered his name, and he pulled back. I pushed on his chest, and he sat back, letting out a sigh, but not looking disappointed or anything. I sat up and kissed him once more, before taking his hand and getting up. He looked at me in confusion, and I tugged lightly on his hand and he stood up, slowly following me as I walked towards his bedroom. He paused in the doorway, and I turned around, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing him deeply.

“Cam…?” his voice was quiet and unsure, and after taking a deep breath I took both of his hands and pulled him to the bed, walking backwards and keeping my eyes on his face as his eyes widened. I felt the mattress hit the back of my legs, and sat down on it, before scooting myself closer to the headboard, pulling on his hands slightly until he put his knees on the mattress, sitting upright and staring at me.

“Cam?” he asked again, and I pushed myself onto my knees, wrapped my arms around him and kissed him again. It took him no time to respond; he wrapped his arms tight around me and pulled me into him, kissing me passionately.

“I love you Jordy,” I whispered in his ear, pressing myself into him and kissing the spot just below and behind his ear that he loved. A little moan came from him as I ran my tongue lightly over his warm skin, and he slowly leaned me backwards, laying me down on the mattress and laying down on top of me.

“I love you too Cam, more than anything,” he whispered, before pressing his lips to mine. His hands moved to the hem of my shirt, and he slowly pulled it up and over my head. In a similar fashion we undressed each other, and Jordan’s breath hitched as he pushed himself up on his elbows and just looked at me. I began to squirm under his gaze, and he chuckled.

“You’re beautiful Cam; I just can’t believe a girl like you settled for me,” he explained, making me blush as he laid down on top of me, his long and lean body against mine adding fuel to the fire that was raging in my belly.

“Pft, I think you’re the one who settled Jord,” I replied, and he shook his head before kissing me again, and he shifted his hips. I gasped, pulling away and needing air immediately; the feel of his skin between my legs unbelievable.

“Never,” he insisted, and then reached to his nightstand to grab a small foil packet. Slight apprehension was in my stomach, but it was like nerves before a game; I wanted to do it, but the fear of it not being… good enough for him was there.

“If you’re not ready for this Cam it’s fine,” he whispered, his fingertips brushing against my cheek.

“No, I am Jordy,” I told him, surprised at how sure I was. He kissed me, and I heard the ripping sound as he opened the packet, before he pulled away again. I watched as his muscled chest heaved for air, and he looked up at me, a smile moving to his lips as he caught me watching him.

“Ready?” he asked, cupping my cheek. I nodded, taking a deep breath.

“It might hurt a little Cam, but if it hurts a lot please tell me and I’ll stop,” he said, and again I nodded. He pecked my lips before his hands moved to my hips and he positioned himself. Then he looked up and kissed me, letting me get lost in him, and then he pushed into me.

“Oh my God,” I gasped, my short nails digging for purchase in his back, my back arching as I tried to make room for him.

“Are you okay baby?” he asked, pausing. I nodded against his neck, my eyes closed, and then he stopped, holding himself still as I heaved for breath and tried to adjust to the size of him.

“Tell me when you’re ready baby,” he whispered in my ear, pressing soft kisses to my shoulder. There were tears in my eyes, but they weren’t from the discomfort I felt; I’d never let anyone close enough to me to be really… intimate. Here I was with the love of my life, and I could give everything to him.

“I’m okay Jordy,” I whispered, and his arms snaked underneath my back to wrap around me before he rocked us. I gasped again, my legs tightening around his hips.

“This should be easier for you sweetheart,” he explained, and I nodded again. He softly rocked the two of us, and after a few minutes I could relax enough to tangle one hand in the soft hair at the nape of his neck, my cheek still pressed to his neck as we moved. Jordan’s breaths were shaky, and I knew that the pressure building up inside of me was doing the same to him.

“Baby are you close?” he asked, and I nodded. I felt like at any moment I would just burst, Jordan’s body rubbing against mine as he moved his hips. It didn’t take much longer for stars to erupt behind my eyelids as I clung to him for dear life. Jordan was just as breathless, gasping for air as both of us laid there, trembling.

“Wow,” I whispered, and Jordan chuckled before weakly lifting himself up long enough to press a loving kiss to my lips.

“Yeah,” he nodded, and then pressed his forehead to mine.

“And you’re… you’re okay?” he asked, and I nodded. He kissed me softly as he pulled out, which was a slightly uncomfortable feeling.

“I’m just gonna go take care of this, be right back,” he said, and quickly padded to his bathroom. My body felt heavy and leaden, in a wonderful way. I was a little sore, but I figured that was completely normal, I mean, it’s not like I was used to that or anything. Soon Jordan came back, and let out a curse as he pulled me in to his body.

“What?” I asked, and he gave me an apologetic look.

“Are you, uh okay? I mean, I just want to make sure I didn't hurt you or anything sweetheart, it's your first time and I just want you to be okay,” he rambled, and I nodded, curling into his body. He let out a breath and wrapped his arms around me, before kissing the top of my head.

I looked for his boxer shorts, and reached for them when I saw them. Jordan noticed and extended one long arm, grabbing them and handing them to me. I pulled them on, and he handed me my tank top before he got up and grabbed himself a clean pair of boxers before he crawled back into bed and snuggled up.

“Was that… okay? I mean, for your first? Was it what you wanted?” he asked, and I nodded.

“It was with you; it was perfect,”