Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

“Please? Please, please, please, please,” Jordan followed me from the kitchen to the living room, sounding like his nephew as he tried to change my mind.

“Jordan, I told you, I’m not just going to interrupt your family get together,” I sighed, sitting down on the couch. Jordan sat down right beside me, those big blue eyes of his a sky blue as he pulled the puppy dog pout on me.

“You’re not! I already told you, my parents want to meet my best friend, and I’m pretty sure you’ve replaced Gretzky as my little brother’s favorite player; he’s been begging me to have you come hang out with us since we found out you were going too!” he whined, making me roll my eyes. Jordan and I were both playing the All Star game for the first time in our careers – although I was there as one of the few rookies. Jordan’s entire family was going to Ottawa for the game, as all three NHL playing Staals were taking part. While Becka and I were going, I was hoping my mom or my uncle could possibly fly out to Ottawa to see it, but I knew that regardless they’d both be taping the whole weekend.

“Jordan,”

“Please Cam? You’re going to be there anyway,”

“But I’m not intruding on time with your family Jordan – you hardly get to see them all as it is,” I argued, both of us getting frustrated. Two stubborn people in a relationship don’t always work as good as one might think. Especially when they disagree.

“You aren’t intruding! Jesus Cam, I just want you to meet my little brother and my parents! All my mom can talk about when I phone is how much she wants to meet my best friend, because I don’t go out as much and apparently I’ve turned a new leaf since we’ve gotten close,” he rolled his eyes, which I’ll admit made me crack a slight grin. It was true; he’d stopped going out as much not long after we’d become friends, and since we’d started… this, seeing as I wasn’t really sure if we were technically ‘dating’ or just ‘together’ or whatever, he basically didn’t go anywhere. I’d told him to go out and have fun with the guys, but he’d insisted he’d rather chill at one of our places with me, seeing as it was the only time I could be ‘his’ Cam, and not the Cam the rest of our hockey-centered world knew.

“Well while that may be true, I’m still not going to tag along and interrupt time with your family. I know how important they are to you, so you damn well spend as much time with them as you can,” I told him, and he let out a huff, crossing his arms and moving to the far end of the couch, staring intently at the TV.

“It would be a lot more convincing if the TV was turned on you know,” I told him, taking a sip of my hot chocolate and flipping my book open to my bookmark. He let out another huff, refusing to grab the remote and turn it on, and instead took to staring at the window. I knew his pout wouldn’t last long, it never had, although usually he would do it as more of a joke than as a serious sign of how upset he was.

“Cam! Are you seriously going to do this to me?” He burst about three minutes later, sick of the silence and the fact that he wasn’t getting anywhere in this argument.

“Yes! You need to go spend time with your family!” I insisted, marking my page again and placing my book on the end table.

“Well I need to spend time with my girlfriend too!” he retorted, making me blush a little. I did it whenever he called me that, and I didn’t know why it affected me so much.

“But we live in the same city Jordy, Eric’s the closest to you and he’s still five hundred miles away!” I pointed out.

“Cam, I really want you to meet them,” he quieted down a little, not losing his intensity.

“Jordan—”

“Cam, you have to meet them someday,” he pointed out, and unknowingly made tears well up in my eyes. I turned away, pretending to fiddle with my book before answering him, staring at it’s cover and willing the tears to go away.

“As your girlfriend, Jordy. Not as your best friend,” I whispered.

“What’s the difference right now Cam? Well, beyond the obvious answer here. You are my best friend Cam, and why can’t they meet you as my friend and then as my girlfriend? What’s so wrong about that?”

“Because they have to meet me as your guy best friend Jordan! What will they think of me when they find out that I’ve actually been a girl this whole time? That’s a great way to start a relationship,” I snapped at him, and he looked a little taken aback. Sure we’d been arguing about this for a few weeks, but it had never got this heated.

“Cam, babe I’m—”

“Just don’t,” I told him, opening my book back up. He let out a sigh, and sat there quietly.

“Cam?” I refused to look at him, knowing if I did I would break down and cry. He let out a long breath, and then slowly moved closer to my side of the couch, and then slowly put his arm around my shoulders. I didn’t lean into him, as I usually did, and a few long moments later he wrapped his other arm around me and then pulled me against his chest.

“Cam I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you feel bad… fuck, you’re crying aren’t you?” he asked, panic in his voice as he tilted my face up with two fingers, and saw the tears that were slowly winning our war.

“No,” my voice shook, giving me away more than my watery eyes did, and with that Jordan pulled me into a tight hug.

“Babe I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s just… you mean a lot to me, and so does my family, and I just want them to meet you so badly,” he explained, and I just sat there quietly in his arms, not trusting my voice.

“And I know Jared wants to meet you really badly, so do my parents. Marc and Lindsay miss you; Lindsay said something about recipes but I wasn’t paying attention, and Eric keeps telling me how much Parker loves you when you've talked on the phone with him. I guess the little guy talks about you all the time, and kept asking Eric when I was gonna bring you over to their place so he could play with you, and meet his baby brother,” he continued, bringing more tears to my eyes. If only they knew the truth about me I would probably have caved in and agreed to go with Jordan and his family, but it would break my heart to have to act like a boy in that situation.

“I just… I don’t think I can handle it Jordy,” I whispered, and felt him nod.

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t thought if it like that babe, I’m really, really sorry. I won’t bring it up again, okay?” he suggested, and I didn’t reply. It’s not that I didn’t want to meet his little brother, who now texted me for advice whenever he needed it or was feeling down. He was almost like a little brother to me, if it was possible for him to be older than me and be younger at the same time.

“Here,” Jordan lifted me up and carried me to my room, laid me down and covered me up, before pausing. He looked as if he were debating whether or not I would disown him for crawling in with me or not. When I patted the bed beside me he all but leaped onto the mattress, burying his face against my neck and pulling me as close to him as he could, although he stayed on top of the covers while I was underneath them. I knew what this meant; as soon as I fell asleep he was going back to his own place, probably because he figured I was mad at him still. Sometimes men are so dense that they make life way too complicated for their own good.

“I’m not mad at you Jordy,” I repeated. He sighed, and I felt his eyelashes flutter against my skin as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“Thank God,” he murmured, before pressing a few soft kisses to my neck and then making himself comfortable again.

We laid there quietly, until the quiet snores told me Jordan had fallen asleep. I hated arguing with him, but there were some things I just wasn’t ready for yet. This was one of them.

I looked over to see the soft smile on his face as he slept, and couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked. His wheat-blonde hair was just hardly in his eyes, his eyelashes were dark and long against his skin, and that little lopsided smile made butterflies appear in my stomach to no end. How I’d managed to fall so hard so fast for someone I would never know, but Jordan had stolen my heart in a matter of days. I’d been head over heels for him basically since we’d met.